Lost my job

[willhealeventually]

What a jerk. I have a lot of problems with men like that. I am so sorry he did that to u. He wanted u to lose.

You mean that there are other men like that? A therapist told me that my ex acts like there was some unspoken deal between us - that I was going to take care of him. When I began to fail, instead of supporting me and learning more about what’s going on with me, he basically acted like I violated some deal and easily walked away.
I do think he wants me to lose it so that he can have custody of our son and not pay me child support, which is a huge concern to him. He is still on my health/dental insurance and wants to keep it that way after the divorce.
I agree that I have to keep it together. The day therapy program I am in is teaching me coping skills and helping me to process my emotions around the PTSD and everything that’s going on right now. Yesterday I felt completely hopeless and I know that’s how my ex wants me to feel. I hope I rise from my ashes to keep taking care of my kids.
I may have to get out of teaching - it hasn’t worked out for me in terms of having a stable job and it’s non-stop stressful work. Having summers off is not worth what you go through during the year. Maybe I’ll try the private sector again but go into a program/project mng role.

 

[Friday]

Now I feel like no matter what job I get, I will be fired.

When I’m relearning how to work I usually acquire ‘burner jobs’... jobs I don’t care about, that aren’t in my field/don’t affect my reputation, that I expect to be fired from (and don’t care). That way I’m reacquiring the skills I need, relearning how to juggle/balance my life and my work, without the impact or pressure of needing to be on my A game, when I don’t presently have an A game.

 

[The Albatross]

I too acquire burner jobs... but not exactly. I set a goal and do all to meet or exceed it then elect to choose if I would like to continue or move on. I'm at home full time with my mom right now... but I did it successfully 4 times before then. It can become a foundational thing. I just decided mine was about navigating the difficulties, and managing the stressors over the easier exit.

P.S. I aim always to do 6 months or more. THEN and only then I begin to examine, and a couple to a few months later I CHOOSE.

 

[Deanna]

You mean that there are other men like that? A therapist told me that my ex acts like there was some unspoken deal between us - that I was going to take care of him. When I began to fail, instead of supporting me and learning more about what’s going on with me, he basically acted like I violated some deal and easily walked away.
I do think he wants me to lose it so that he can have custody of our son and not pay me child support, which is a huge concern to him. He is still on my health/dental insurance and wants to keep it that way after the divorce.
I agree that I have to keep it together. The day therapy program I am in is teaching me coping skills and helping me to process my emotions around the PTSD and everything that’s going on right now. Yesterday I felt completely hopeless and I know that’s how my ex wants me to feel. I hope I rise from my ashes to keep taking care of my kids.
I may have to get out of teaching - it hasn’t worked out for me in terms of having a stable job and it’s non-stop stressful work. Having summers off is not worth what you go through during the year. Maybe I’ll try the private sector again but go into a program/project mng role.

He's using u and there are plenty of guys out there like this. Man.. I wish I could give him a word or two! This guy really sucks... Willeventually. He didn't even work when you were falling down hill. He let you FALL! Instead of taking the reins and helping this family! But you didn't see it because you were going the other way. He's just using his new girlfriend.. So thank God its not you, now... Good Riddance to him.

 

[joeylittle]

@willhealeventually - how are things going for you?

 

[willhealeventually]

@joeylittle thank you for checking in. That means a lot! I’ve been trying to regroup in my day therapy program and have finally come to a place where I am going to look for another job. Because I have a complex situation right now with a pending divorce and a child in the middle of it plus another son going to college, I decided I don’t have the luxury of delving too deep into my trauma now and need to get on my feet.
My counselor is right, though - I need to be mindful of trying to apply to jobs that will have fewer triggers for me (if possible).
I can’t go into another teaching job, I’ve decided - it’s not s job I can be successful in because I have been historically late too many times. My agoraphobia makes it very difficult for me to leave the house on time - I need to wake up too early to talk myself into getting up and going out. Schools start too early in the morning. Maybe if I get a normal job starting at 9, I can do better and it will be a more sustainable situation.
There are lots of unknowns but at least I am willing to try something now.
Thank you for reading...

 

[joeylittle]

Thanks for the update, @willhealeventually - your plan sounds smart, to me.

There are lots of unknowns but at least I am willing to try something now.

Really glad to hear it :)

 

[Deanna]

Thanks for the update, @willhealeventually - your plan sounds smart, to me.

Really glad to hear it :)

Sheesh..... There is no way i could work every morning at eight. I'd say I'm 5 years older than her and PTSD plays havoc with time. It always has for me.. But I went undetected for over 50 years. ( just got diagnosed 2 1/2 years ago-- how insane! Try having a whole lifetime chugged down the drain) We all share the hope of getting better. I am bipolar-Ptsd..with a ?. The good news is most questions can be answered by us ( generally)