Need suggestions on how to stop penalizing myself

[Sideways]

It can be a bit of a mindf*ck when you realize you don’t treat yourself as well as you’d treat a dog... but it’s still a step in the right direction.

Can be surprisingly helpful approach for some of us.

Stopped making myself eat horrible things as a form of punishment when I got doggo. The rule for us is simple enough: dog eats dog food, human eats human food.

That was a good boundary for him, worth enforcing. Human food isn’t good for him. And anything other than human food? Isn’t good for me.

It also naturally expanded, so that there’s a tonne of things I simply won’t do to myself in front of my dog. Justified that one by the same principle: it wasn’t good for him to learn those behaviours were part of my normal.

Which meant that I have to remove doggo from the picture to SH or punish. And he doesn’t like that - that’s like I’m punishing him as well as myself.

Wouldn’t work for everyone, but using doggo as means to motivate against dysfunctional behaviours has been helpful to me.

 

[blackemerald1]

This is interesting because I have discovered that the urge for SH is deeply embedded in the lack of control (possibly a bad/incorrect term) occurring at the time.

Environment. People. Myself physically and mentally... wherever it is coming from it will be out of control.

Working on that perspective leads me away from SH.

 

[Tinyflame]

I think that's astute @blackemerald1 . And maybe for me, also despair/ opposite of self-care. Dull the pain, panic or painfulness.

Though mine (SH) is more self-neglect or passively-self-dangerous.

 

[TruthSeeker]

Can be surprisingly helpful approach for some of us.

Stopped making myself eat horrible things as a form of punishment when I got doggo. The rule for us is simple enough: dog eats dog food, human eats human food.

That was a good boundary for him, worth enforcing. Human food isn’t good for him. And anything other than human food? Isn’t good for me.

It also naturally expanded, so that there’s a tonne of things I simply won’t do to myself in front of my dog. Justified that one by the same principle: it wasn’t good for him to learn those behaviours were part of my normal.

Which meant that I have to remove doggo from the picture to SH or punish. And he doesn’t like that - that’s like I’m punishing him as well as myself.

Wouldn’t work for everyone, but using doggo as means to motivate against dysfunctional behaviours has been helpful to me.

You are cleverwitted....wish I felt the same connection to my cat. Maybe I'd have better behavior if they were paying attention....you know, it is convenient when all a cat likes to do is sleep. Their eyes are closed most of the time. LOL