Most people don’t notice it when it happens. Very few people don’t know I have PTSD, and I plan on keeping it that way. If people do notice something, they may ask if I’m stressed or something, especially if it’s one where I’m still conscious of the present, because I’m better able to try and control my reactions. I would just tell them that I didn’t sleep well last night or I haven’t eaten all day or something like that. Most times when i think one is going to happen I will leave and go off somewhere by myself, so no one will see, and so no one will frighten me if I don’t manage to calm down before it happens.
When I’m having full-on flashback, I tend to zone out and just stare blankly and I would have this frozen expressionless face. Sometimes my legs will shake but it’s not really obvious, so it tends to go unnoticed most of the time. I only found out about the leg shaking because my T told me about it.
I guess a better way to say this, is that people might notice but they might just brush it off, or maybe ask if I’m stressed or something, but it doesn’t look obvious that I’m having one. To people who know about my PTSD, they are more likely to recognize it, but it just looks like I’m staring blankly at something, like I’m daydreaming or thinking about something, to them. My T is most likely to notice it though, I guess because she knows what she’s looking for and how to recognize it and stuff like that. But in general, I would say people are either oblivious to it or they notice it but think it’s because I’m hungry or stressed.
If it’s a smell that triggers it, like for example, the smell of freshly cut grass is a huge trigger for me, or seeing someone who looks like one of my abusers, I would look sick and distressed. I will feel nauseous (unrelated - sometimes to the point where I think I might vomit, but for some reason I can’t), and go pale, sometimes I’ll get dizzy and feel weak (like maybe my blood pressure is falling or something, although I don’t get why that would happen because I thought the opposite is what’s supposed to happen), I also will either freeze or try to leave where I am. I would say that flashbacks caused by smells or by seeing someone who looks like one of my abusers are the ones people will notice, because I also have a physical reaction to it.