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This is sweet.I’m thinking about titling this the love/caretaker poem. And I do love her. I love her very much!
If there is one thing that I know. It is that I love you so:
I must share in your pain.
Your past.
And your burden.
If there is one thing that I know. It is that I love you so:
I must listen.
I must listen.
I must share ideas.
I must help you cope.
Whether the bleeding will ever stop I don’t know, but I love you so:
I will always be here.
I will always love you.
Get some rest my dear. Tomorrow is a new day for us two.
I love you guys too.
Sorry you are hurting. Glad you could get it out.Silent terror
Crushes me
I struggle
To breathe
There are
No words
To describe
The weight
On my soul
If I could
Only breathe
Maybe then
I could
Scream
For help
Maybe then
I could
Cry
Maybe then
I could
Describe
The pain
Instead
I lay here
Silent
Still
Unable
To breathe
I get a lot out of reading and writing poetry. I wrote this today......anyone else got a poem, some lines, a PTSD limerick, an ode, cute, sad, or funny? Usually, mine are a mix.
Here is my poetry I did today:
The Journey from Oz to Grandma's House
Suddenly............ I'm Dorothy,
Lost, alone with only green little weirdo people in a strange land hated by a crazy wicked witch,
Alone,
Afraid,
Confused,
Surviving,
Brain Damaged (from an accident involving a twister)
and I can't go back,
"I can, I can, I can move forward....follow the Yellow Brick Road and find my clan,
Then I will feel safe and at home,
Keep following the path.....keep walking....keep trying.....I'll find what I'm looking for....I have to," I say to myself encouragingly.
Suddenly......I'm the Gingerbread Man,
Racing down the Yellow Brick Road and terrified I'll be eaten alive,
Alone,
Scared,
Confused,
Totally paranoid from being followed by what I thought were hungry Munchkins,
Brain damaged, (my head didn't bake right in utero)
and I can't go back,
It's not safe,
"Dorothy's wrong.....no time for others....they aren't safe,
Just keep running, as fast as I can....trust no one,
Survival is the key," I tell myself.
Suddenly........I'm the Little Red Hen,
The sky is falling and I'm running hard, off to warn the King...save myself and the Kingdom,
Alone,
Afraid,
Confused,
Surviving,
Brain damaged (I think I had a TBI-something fell from the sky and hit my head-I'm not right),
I can't go back,
It's not safe,
"Trust no one, absolutely no one, "I think.
"Screw the King and the kingdom and hide inside, "I say to myself, "where it is safe."
So I run to my brick house and curl up in bed.
Suddenly........I'm an old, withered up, bitter and forgotten Grandma sitting in bed,
I hear a knock at the door then a mean wolf saunters in, grinning.
Alone,
Terrified,
Confused,
Still surviving,
Brain damaged (from long-term PTSD and a lot of other head injuries in life)
Nowhere left to go....but this is a real threat,
"I'm alone, what do I do?" I ask inside (a trick my T taught me)
The answer comes, "dissociate" and I do..........
then............................................
..................................................I die.
Alternate Ending:
Suddenly, I'm grandma all snuggled in my bed,
I hear a knock at the door then a mean wolf strides in, grinning.
He has many sharp-looking teeth,
Terrified,
Confused,
Grounded,
Neural network much more intact (years of therapy and hard work),
Nowhere to go,
I'm trapped,
I stand up and face the wolf as I ............tap, tap, tap my ruby slippers,
Zing........The Munchkins come. Blam......they kill the wolf,
They've been watching out for me all along.
I'm home.
This poem is kinda geeky. .
I Wish I Could Service My Brain Like I Do My Computer
I wish I could service my brain like I do my computer.
Disable and remove the unwanted startup programs,
gone the flashbacks and bad dreams,
away with sleepless nights awaking everyday refreshed and smiling.
I wish I could service my brain like I do my computer,
Clean up and delete the old unnecessary system files,
gone the maladaptive coping skills,
away goes the fog and my need for so much isolation.
I wish I could service my brain like I do my computer.
Keep my system free of viruses and malware,
gone the insidious paranoia and worry,
away with insecurity and magically I blossom into a risk-taker.
I wish I could service my brain like I do my computer.
Upgrade to a newer operating system,
live in the present,
sleep with beautiful dreams of my future.
Silent terror
Crushes me
I struggle
To breathe
There are
No words
To describe
The weight
On my soul
If I could
Only breathe
Maybe then
I could
Scream
For help
Maybe then
I could
Cry
Maybe then
I could
Describe
The pain
Instead
I lay here
Silent
Still
Unable
To breathe