People who use the pandemic as the excuse to be a jerk can eff off.

[Justmehere]

This is partly rant, partly encouragement, and partly to ask.... am I the only one experiencing this?

Someone yelled at me this afternoon. It was a healthcare provider who is not treating covid patients. They YELLED about politics. I let them go on, and then I said ok, "Can we return to the subject of my healthcare?" Then they hung up on the telehealth because I wouldn't go there on the politics. The supervisor pulled the recorded call, confirmed I was yelled at improperly by the provider, for over 5 minutes, randomly went on a political rant, yelling at me like I could fix any of it and how dare I not (I have no control or power over the matter) and the supervisor told me, "well everyone is stressed these days because of the pandemic. Let's just forget about it and move on."

I required they switch me to another provider. They acted offended. I tried to explain if the first appointment leads to screaming on the phone, yeah, I'm not going to trust them. Actions have consequences. That action leads to my distrust. Different provider please. They acted as if this was oh so offensive of a response to being yelled at improperly. Again, they agreed I was yelled at in a medical appointment trying to speak about blood testing results.

As a PTSDer, I never got a free pass to be an ass to others without consequence. I'm not willing to be someone's dumping ground no matter how much the planet is on fire, that's not going to help, thankyouverymuch.

An hour later a friend did the same. Almost the exact same, different issue. I told them, "Uh, why are you yelling at me?" They were not even asking me to do anything. It was just general flipping the f out. Yelling and throwing things around. I said we could talk when they were calm and hung up. They blew up my texts about that using the pandemic as the excuse to start breaking shit and yelling... I blocked them. I will check in with them in a few days when they have regrouped.

Someone else, a very distant professional acquaintance, recently admitted they stole shit from someone because pandemic. WTF.

To everyone using the pandemic and related stress to be an asshat to anyone, knock it off. Need help calming down? Ok. Yeah, cool, I've been there... but no you don't get to just rant at me and throw a fit and just have me take it. GAH.

To anyone getting the raw end of it, SHUT IT DOWN. Hold your ground on your boundaries. Don't take the pandemic as a legit excuse. The virus does not eliminate self control.

 

[Freida]

Yep....same thing! Just told a friend yesterday that if she started going off on me I was hanging up on her because I have no patience with that crap. And good for you for making them give you a new person!

 

[Friday]

and partly to ask.... am I the only one experiencing this?

Nah.

I have to be careful about it, because 90% of the time it doesn’t phase me. I’ve been screamed at and assaulted by civilians losing their everloving minds in a disaster/emergency... I was going to say “more times than I can count” but that’s wrong.... It’s Situation Normal in an emergency. Civilians can’t handle their shit. Most of the time that’s just water off a ducks back.

The other 10% of the time? I’ve realized I get triggered by it.

90% of the 10% I just go über-calm / kick into work-mode in my head. Which is fiiiiiiiiiine, and all, except?

1) It means I have a rather explosive meltdown coming, in my near future. It’s going to come out sideways, it always does, but since this isn’t a real emergency? It’s my brain reacting like it’s an emergency because of how people around me are behaving? There are NOT going to be people around that understand, or who will clear my back blast for me, cut me any slack/help me through it... and the potential is there for me to cause a helluva lot of wreckage in my life unless I am very VERY careful about it. Start blowing off steam, early an often (even though I feel fine), and carve out some time and space to become a hot f*cking disaster... in private... and essentially tape post-it notes all over my brain to IGNORE YOURSELF once I start kicking off. Aside from the Sparky Sparky BOOM Man nonsense? I am going to want to raise hell and break shit, pick fights, get laid, eat my gun, pack a bag and get the f*ck out of Dodge... and then -if I don’t do those things- I am going to be knocked over by a tsunami of emotions and wild grief/sadness/rage... which will then be followed by getting caught in a riptide of crushing depression.

Good times :wtf:

2) Aaaargh. There was a 2nd point. Which I’ve now forgotten, having got all swept of in the inevitability of effect, once those dominos start ticking over. If I remember it later? I’ll come back to it.

Ha! I remembered the 2nd bit ... 2 part 2) Predicitble is Preventible. I covered some of it up above, but mostly it’s that if I know I have a meltdown coming? I can gentle the landing & moderate the effects. IF I remember. (Which is, clearly, not an easy thing for me). It’s mostly stress cup stuff, blowing off as much stress and I can, coupled with self care / directed situations.

...

10% of the 10% ;) I don’t go übercalm or hard&cold, because I don’t kick into work mode. I just switch into STFU :mad: It is reeeeeeeally really hard to keep my temper, and I end up choking up so hard on my own leash it’s going to be a difficult few days to breathe, just to avoid lashing out. I typically end up chain smoking whilst repeating to myself that triggered = an overreaction. That no one has actually earned the hail of shit I want to direct at them. No chewing out. No dressing down. No reaching out and slapping some sense into them. No grabbing them up by the shirt collar to direct them to do something f*cking useful, for a change. It’s me, not them. Chill the f*ck out, bitch. Calm your tits, FFS. Step back. Breath through it. Take a hot/cold shower. Drink a beer. Get yourself under f*cking control, and chill. Mind. Your. Bearing. And, for the love of Mike, don’t treat people the way you want to treat them.

 

[Ronin]

Yah.

Not bothered by random Joe / Jane Annoyed. Madness is a normal work day & I'm puzzled by civil & kind still ;)

It's the people I trust/ed to have my back or the very least keep their shit together and both do whatever we do that, losing it, make me want to smack them hard to senses, and other OldMe shit that I don't have feelings about... only know we don't do it, as it's not that level of hot war.

ETA: Oh, this had a How do you cope attached...

Humor works best so far.
Amused? I don't unleash hell, even working.

Because it's *all* Pft. Got this. If I don't, grab who does. If you're thinking of a way out, you're already half there. Moving & Alive. Eyes on the future & The future becomes real. Always Forward never straight. Pieces of light to light the way. And: Bitch, this dark is Mine. So now to honor & protect it. Because evil prick acts in reaction ain't do that.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I've noticed it. People screaming about their rights, they have freedom of speech but those that disagree do not. There is so much misinformation out there that is crazy-making. Like I said in another thread, I grew up like that and it made me who I am today. It is hard to function in society when there is no real.

I am a civilian and I am calm in emergencies. I was a nurse though so having parents rip you through the coals because you won't kill their child by overmedicating is sorta like people losing their minds in a emergency. I usually don't let it affect me, but sometimes I want to tell them to shut the f*ck up.

 

[whiteraven]

I don't talk to anyone but my mom and my T so I, fortunately, don't have to deal with this.

I don't get why people - esp. those in healthcare - aren't able to separate the politics from everything else. Stressful times, I guess. Sorry you're surrounded by these idiots.

 

[ladee]

I don't go anywhere but the grocery store. And I have noticed the people who check-out are getting rude and impatient. I usually try to say something 'kind', like I appreciate what they are doing. I don't always mean it, but maybe they are tired or whatever. The last time I said something to that effect and the lady slammed my tea down so hard I thought it was going to burst open!

As the whole world is facing things that they never thought they would see themselves in, it is showing others how to be .... or not be. I only have to see that check out person for a few minutes, if I had to be around them all day, I know I would snap back! Everyone is stressed. Everyone!!

But I really like what was said about us with PTSD don't get a free ride and have to be accountable for our actions, guess this one of the rare times we get to shine!!! Who knew!!

 

[kbblue]

I guess I joined the right forum :) I am struggling with other people's reactions right now. I have lived every day with anxiety and horror, and was told to never take it out on others, which makes sense, but now? I have to deal with other people's severe anxiety and their acting out. Although, I have found that most people who are "essential" workers at retail stores are super cool. I will say - I went through the line as a consumer, and the checker was kinda unfriendly. And then I went through his line again while working for instacart and he was really nice :)

And I have dealt with professionals being rude and they immediately claim that it is because of the coronavirus. I have a lawsuit against the "professional health care worker" that caused my PTSD that has had to be shut down because the attorney and everyone involved is "sheltering in place", indefinitely. They resisted doing any work on my case before the shutdown too, so this is their ideal situation. I was told to stop contacting them while this pandemic is going on, and to add six months or more to that time frame. It's already been over two years.

 

[Neverthesame]

If you are in need of a little sanitizer for your crappy people filter, here's a subreddit with lots of people using the plague to do good by one another.
Dead Link Removed

The irony of the situation isn't lost on me, every day regular people have suddenly found themselves afraid of a threat they can't see or hear, that can come from anything or anyone. Yet also probably isn't there most of the time and probably not going to be as bad as they think it will, should they encounter it.

What I really hope is that perhaps some of them will learn some new coping strategies to help with their newfound anxiety. Also that they gain a newfound respect for the world now that they see the facade of safety can and will be stripped away from them whether they like it or not. Maybe learning some newfound appreciation for the good things they have all around them.

A small part of me also wants to give them the same great advice I've received countless times over the years.

Get over it.

But that would be rude, so I won't. This plague business has certainly been a test of patience, that's for damn sure.

 

[The Albatross]

None of that in/around Lex KY. People either ultra quiet, or trying to go out of their way to be patient, express gratitude, or greet/smile/welcome each other.

 

[RubyBlue]

None of that in/around Lex KY. People either ultra quiet, or trying to go out of their way to be patient, express gratitude, or greet/smile/welcome each other.

Same out here. You see a couple rude people on social media once in awhile but for the most part everyone is just keeping to themselves, happy and helpful.

 

[Invisible Fire]

Some people in my opinion will use anything to justify their bad behavior. And I have seen it with the pandemic. In the general public. Usually its about what they think is best and how stupid everyone else is and how much smarter they are.

I am a healthcare worker. I work with many healthcare workers in many settings. I can hear the stress in their voices, some days more than others, but in general there is a we are in it together feeling. I have not heard any one being rude to clients. That is totally uncalled for. I am glad you set your boundaries to protect yourself and those that aren't strong enough to stand up for themselves.