Hello to anyone who has the capacity to read this,
I’m being confronted with parts that are having an abuser idealizing voice. I’m aware of the fact that it is always complex and very individual how inner Part landscapes are being created and that it needs to be tackled with the therapist, but I feel it’s becoming more and more disturbing that I would like to know how you have dealt with it so far, if anyone can relate? It becomes more concrete so this also could be seen as progress, although very unsettling at times.
A long story short: Grew up with a violent father, boarding schools with nuns, Bipolar stepfather and moving around a lot as a child and sexual abuse. As a child I was disciplined with being locked in a room for -I don’t know how long, or other punishments.. (Not sure if they were sexual also)
In therapy I have learned to get to know my parts, create an inner safe place and be aware of bodily sensations.
I sometimes feel this deep inner desire to be punished, that I am an evil person , and that I (The Part) wants to be held captive.
It’s very disturbing and I get intrusive thoughts about this.
What I am doing now is EFT, speaking to my helper parts, Yoga which is helpful but I’m still struggling now and then. I will be addressing this with my Therapist soon.
Just wanting to get this out of my chest.. maybe anyone is able to relate? Maybe this is too specific .. and if not thanks anyway for reading.
Rani G2
I’m being confronted with parts that are having an abuser idealizing voice. I’m aware of the fact that it is always complex and very individual how inner Part landscapes are being created and that it needs to be tackled with the therapist, but I feel it’s becoming more and more disturbing that I would like to know how you have dealt with it so far, if anyone can relate? It becomes more concrete so this also could be seen as progress, although very unsettling at times.
A long story short: Grew up with a violent father, boarding schools with nuns, Bipolar stepfather and moving around a lot as a child and sexual abuse. As a child I was disciplined with being locked in a room for -I don’t know how long, or other punishments.. (Not sure if they were sexual also)
In therapy I have learned to get to know my parts, create an inner safe place and be aware of bodily sensations.
I sometimes feel this deep inner desire to be punished, that I am an evil person , and that I (The Part) wants to be held captive.
It’s very disturbing and I get intrusive thoughts about this.
What I am doing now is EFT, speaking to my helper parts, Yoga which is helpful but I’m still struggling now and then. I will be addressing this with my Therapist soon.
Just wanting to get this out of my chest.. maybe anyone is able to relate? Maybe this is too specific .. and if not thanks anyway for reading.
Rani G2
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