Making it look like you're functioning

[12birds]

I'm putting on my human suit this morning, even though I really want to call in sick. My usual set of grounding exercises and self-talk is just not touching it this time. I have a very public facing job. It is a struggle to be half-in-half-out at work.

What helps you get through days like this?

 

[Skywatcher]

My therapist once told me to imagine a confident person or me when I’m in my A-game. Sit the way that person would sit. When I did that, I could feel the difference. Fake it to make it. I also carry something in my hand like a shell or rock that is part smooth and part rough. I feel that rock in my hand and it helps. Deep breathing. Tapping. Speak to your therapist, if possible. I was once in some sort of derealization and hearing her voice helped me find my present tense world.

 

[Survivor3]

Acting haha! fake it till you make it sometimes it's the only way of getting through the day.

 

[coraxxx]

I very much relate to this feeling but it’s really a rough play to gamble in. Because masking is a coping mechanism, you cope until you can’t. If you can’t find a way to release the pressure from another spot soon or later it’s gonna take a toll. I think there is a moment we need to accept our limitations and cut the losses before it gets too bad. Only you can know your limits and to my sense with experience you can start to see where they sit and maybe work on protocols and self-soothing and self-care methods to have the pressure down in the adequate times. I would discuss with my therapist to design this. Good luck with the human suit, I hope you can keep your job 12birds.

Grounding and having anchors does help me, as well as entirely focusing my attention on something else than myself, especially people, and paying attention on how nice they are or at least interesting to interact with. Basically it’s a form of switching, and the way I try to get to this is to make the switch more fluid and less uncomfortable by finding ways to "channel" my working parts better. This has had a bit of effect but it’s still too new for me as to provide actual feedback.

 

[Bluleaf]

Because masking is a coping mechanism, you cope until you can’t. If you can’t find a way to release the pressure from another spot soon or later it’s gonna take a toll. I think there is a moment we need to accept our limitations and cut the losses before it gets too bad.

These are profound words. When you say we sometimes "cope until we can't" this is very real. At some point we may lose the ability to use our coping mechanism. I love that a person can validate themselves and the situation by accepting their limitations. It's a form of self love and self care.

 

[Dynamic]

I make sure my nutrient intake is top quality. Drink extra water. Of course what others have said as well. Take extra care of myself. Like one week I did a deep conditioning hair mask every day lol it was a bad week.

 

[Movingforward10]

What I did today was , when getting anxious, to take a step back. Take a break. Acknowledge my feelings, breathe, make it ok, and then get back to work.
Sorry if that sounds so simple, bit for me to know I have a feeling took a lot of work, so just recognising it and knowing it passes (that took a lot of work to recognise too!), Helped today.

 

[onecraftywitch]

My therapist once told me to imagine a confident person or me when I’m in my A-game. Sit the way that person would sit. When I did that, I could feel the difference. Fake it to make it. I also carry something in my hand like a shell or rock that is part smooth and part rough. I feel that rock in my hand and it helps. Deep breathing. Tapping. Speak to your therapist, if possible. I was once in some sort of derealization and hearing her voice helped me find my present tense world.

Love this.

 

[Sideways]

What helps you get through days like this?

Planning for after the day.

Days that I know in advance are going to be tough, but that I'll probably get through by dissociating? It usually comes too late in the piece to do much meaningful about it, and I'm mostly okay with dissociating as a coping strategy. Because it works, for me.

But if I know that I'm at the point that I'm dissociating to cope, then it's time to put real energy into emptying out my stress cup. Because being dissociated is not a way to live. Not meaningfully.

So I plan downtime, and I plan out how I'm going to use that downtime most effectively.

That's not me saying, "Meh, dissociating, no biggie". It's just a different way to come at coping strategies. Sometimes when I'm that strung out, it's probably less distressing for me to get through the worst of it dissociated, and deal with getting myself right again when I have enough space to breathe (and be distressed, sad, depressed, anxious, etc) and actually bring myself back from the brink. Because if I have to get through something (like work), it's not great for me to suddenly ground and be flooded with emotion before I've made it through that day.

 

[hellsbells.]

Planning for after the day.

Days that I know in advance are going to be tough, but that I'll probably get through by dissociating? It usually comes too late in the piece to do much meaningful about it, and I'm mostly okay with dissociating as a coping strategy. Because it works, for me.

But if I know that I'm at the point that I'm dissociating to cope, then it's time to put real energy into emptying out my stress cup. Because being dissociated is not a way to live. Not meaningfully.

So I plan downtime, and I plan out how I'm going to use that downtime most effectively.

That's not me saying, "Meh, dissociating, no biggie". It's just a different way to come at coping strategies. Sometimes when I'm that strung out, it's probably less distressing for me to get through the worst of it dissociated, and deal with getting myself right again when I have enough space to breathe (and be distressed, sad, depressed, anxious, etc) and actually bring myself back from the brink. Because if I have to get through something (like work), it's not great for me to suddenly ground and be flooded with emotion before I've made it through that day.

Hi I’m new to this forum. It’s been a long time coming tbh as I’ve been struggling to recognise what keeps triggering my PTSD symptoms. Still doing therapy, journaling & learning how to recognise the point of which I begin to spiral out of control.

Saying this, I have found that if I’m amidst an attack, I can no longer rely on disassociation to get me through as I’m at the point in my healing now where I’ve become completely accepting & reliant on my true feelings & needs. No matter how scary it feels to confront my feelings head on. Especially as I’m in a relationship that relies on me being fully present & emotionally responsible. I’m not saying I don’t struggle still with times where I feel I need to disassociate but what I do here is make myself ok staying with the difficult feelings & staying brave with my emotions. Working through them with the help of a loved one & journal &/or therapist is important for me now.

These times show me I still need something that I’ve not been giving myself; something I wouldn’t be able to recognise if I had allowed myself to stay in a dissociated state. Im slowly learning how to release the shame & guilt I feel, with support. What also helps me make these shifts easier, is to try get out of my own head & see how other people are dealing with these same situations. Finding the evidence that it’s not me, helps me to see things from a more self-compassionate angle and that I need something more in this circumstance. Then talking through these situations with a loved one or a friend continues that more self-compassionate analysis. All of which is really important for me as it helps keep me out of or pull me back from dissassociation.

It’s not been an easy journey for me but I’m continuing to work on these things and myself each day. I’m grateful to see your stories on here too. It makes me realise I’m not alone. Thank you guys.