Does anybody want to join in being a routine buddy (“accountability” partner)?

[Actualise]

The gratitude stuff is what I have to sort out, yes. Thanks for the help @TruthSeeker. I think I want to meld it yes, but I think I actually want to meld gratitude with “everything”. Like living in gratitude/ life as “prayer”(spiritual more than religious). I’ve just read too that writing by hand is more effective than typing so I need to get a notebook. Of course I’ll just spend an allotted time writing as you can’t walk around in gratitude with your head in a journal and pen out all the time.

You seem to be doing pretty well. Especially as you have some what I would consider big goals.

1. - good on you, sounds encouraging.
2. - that’s high maintenance so props
3. - this will probably knock itself out when you amp up the exercise
4. - you can do it! Respect for getting out for the pool when it is so cold
5. - hope this works out well. I suspect the more fun it is the easier it will be to keep doing
6. - this is a big task I would consider. I suspect you’ll have to chip away at it a bit? I would say while you’re just getting started and getting the other ones stable, chilling on this one is ok
7. - great
8. - fine.

Hope this week goes well for you. Keep up the good work!
I’ve picked up hitting my goals today, so will see what I hit by Sunday.

 

[Actualise]

I just finished a self improvement book. People have probably heard some version of these before but in case it helps anyone, the points it made re goals were:
-organise and plan what you’re aiming for before bogging in to all the stuff you want/ have to do
-write your goals down. Writing seems to be all round emotionally more effective according to studies. But if you’re just keeping a tally, typing in your data is fine/ quicker/ possibly better in this way. There are pros and cons for each way and it’s really personal preference in the end, benefits are got from both
-some say have 3 or less goals at any one time..
-if you’re having trouble getting started, have just one key goal. Eg exercise. Focus on just getting that one thing done and you will find it levers everything else in your life up and after a while you’ll be able to do more.

He also talks about visualisations and affirmations. If you’re struggling to get yourself to an exercise class/ do taxes/ ___ you could just visualise yourself breezing through it and say a few affirmations I guess to bring on doing it.

 

[TruthSeeker]

All are great ideas.....
Organizing my entire home so it's user friendly and organized is huge for getting many daily tasks done more quickly, and taking less time to pick up. Setting up spaces where you live to do different things is great for saving time. Like I have all my music, music stand and instrument in one space, my exercise equipment in another, paperwork and office stuff and files in another space, art stuff in another so I can find things. Memory issues reduce doing that too, taking less time roaming the house for the stapler or a pr. of scissors.
I write my goals on a check list and tick them off daily.....you are on point, writing by hand is more emotionally cathartic.....but typing has it's purpose. If you want to set a boundary with a friend or family member, I think times like that that typing is better-because I can set it aside, and edit as many times as I need till it's just exactly what I want to say without being a jerk. I type out what I want, how I feel, and why I need the boundary. But writing by hand why something is challenging or the reasons I'm having a hard time staying on task and linking it to emotions and the past can be very cathartic.....I think your book is on point.
As a behavior specialist in public school, I always started 1 new behavior and the student worked to make that a habit.....a habit takes about 3 weeks to create so says the research, and once that's at 90-100 percent, then I'd work with the student to create a new goal to work on in addition to maintaining the first one. So I take many lessons from working with kids...and apply the methods to myself.

Positive reinforcement is helpful.....I've been wanting some oatmeal cookies....but I deny myself the reward until.....for this one.....I finish the job application. Hoping to see it done soon....those cookies I can visualize! Can't visualize breezing through taxes....hahahahahbahabahahahahaha! You make me laugh....laughing is good for the brain chemistry.....so you know you have done me some good today! I think self-talk and affirmations are helpful....I talk myself through the steps (self talk) like first "I need to do X...."."now I have to work on Y......"and I'll be done when I do Z.....breaking the steps down into parts does help me a lot and that is affirming that I'm moving forward. I verbally ".tell myself "good job" when I get something challenging accomplished and it actually makes me feel good to positively reinforce myself.....it sounds weird...but I think it works.

I've also found pairing a positive thing with a negative mundane task (which I typically dislike...like laundry, sorting, folding, organizing) helps get me through it more successfully if the mundane task doesn't require thinking.....so I like particular shows a lot.....for Star Trek Discovery paired with sorting and folding clothes......gives me something positive to think about while doing something I really could care less about that's just a mundane job......but my head is in something I'm enjoying. So, if I didn't do that, my clothes wouldn't get folded for sure.

I like your thread by the way....it's helpful. Today I went to Spanish Zoom class. I did the social thing.....it's conversational Spanish......I choked.....but I didn't pass (If I had known how to say "pass" in Spanish that was the behavior calling to me, but I got out 5 sentences and then said, "That's all-in Spanish".......I wasn't prepared to talk about myself-......but I had prepared and read the article, understood it, and was very prepared to read and answer a section......and I read quickly.....oh, it took me 2 hrs. to unwind from that experience-I got A's in Spanish years ago...this is nongraded but goes back to the days of having to be at the top of the class.....I'm not. Hoping this will be a good lesson.....I don't have to know all the answers. I recalled verbs in present tense...and in the moment I realized I couldn't talk about anything from the past and I know the verbs....but couldn't recall how to conjugate the verbs so I could speak in past tense.....so 5 spanish sentences is better than "pass" right? ;)Have a great week, and good luck....sounds like this week for you will be better!

 

[Actualise]

Planning is needed in most things I suspect. I used to watch Iron Chef - chefs have to cook a three course cordon Bleu level meal with some surprise ingredient given to them on the spot in an hour. Despite the short time and huge task Rokusaburo Michiba would always take the time to calligraphy out his menu first. Upfront planning time investment will save time overall.

taxes....hahahahahbahabahahahahaha! You make me laugh....laughing is good for the brain chemistry.....so you know you have done me some

-yes, quite. Glad that gave you some comedy relief. It’s probably a bit of an uneasy uhuhuhuhu then sprint off to something else for me at mention of the t word atm. I haven’t done mine for cough cough__ years. I’m not doing any fraud more like donating to the government. It’s just the respect I hold for the task.. I have to work up to them. And respect to you for putting them on your agenda. Doing them is enough to make some pulsating and thrusting with health and energy alpha types go weak let alone those dealing with ptsd.

Patting yourself on the back for achieving stuff is absolutely required! You’ve got to be a cheerleader to yourself of course you do! I’m pretty sure that is official - in some evidence based recommendation for well-being or whatever. I’ve been reading another book and it says to use successes you have to know more will come ie reinforce and build ongoing success. I can see how things could be self fulfilling - the more success you have the more comes. Do it!

Ditto for me on the multitasking thing. It has to be a mundane rote task that takes no thinking that you pair with something that occupies the mind though. Folding clothes while watching tv, listening to an audiobook, podcast or music -yes. I leave clothes folding until I have something to pair it with as I want to make the most use of time. Cleaning and eating meals is also something I multitask with.
Of course there is also an argument for doing things mindfully. Maybe I should do that with eating more. Cleaning is audiobook time for me.
You could also do a meditation during the task - I do that on walks.

There is a lot bound up in your Spanish lessons I suspect. The technical content, the social bit and the way you “be” too. I could see how that is a meaty task to take on. Sounds like you did well with the first class.
Best for the next class going as well.

 

[TruthSeeker]

I finally submitted the employment application.....that was a huge task! I was so happy to see "application completed and submitted" on my email! That's one big accomplishment! On the 19th, they rescheduled sculpting class and I can't wait for that....a class I'm at least more confident at -to offset the Spanish class I currently am sucking at. With work, I'm hoping it will get better.

 

[Actualise]

Go @TruthSeeker!

Ok here’s how I went this week:

2022
1.meditate on waking every day	7/7
2.Write down any dreams and their poss meanings	6/7
3.do aerobic exercise for 40 minutes 6 days a week (I will update this goal if different guidelines are recommended)	5.5/6
4.get at least 20 minutes sun/daylight on my eyes to set my circadian rhythms every mourning	4/7
5.write my gratitude journal up to date every day	0/7
6.get any eating done within an 8 hour window every day. Whatever time begin eating, cease eating at 5.30pm.	0/7
7.Go for a constitutional every evening	5/7
8.read from a hardcopy book before bed every night	2/7
9.give thanks for all the great things that have and will come every night	0/7
10.switch off the light for sleep by 10pm every night	1/7

While I sniffed at the advice in that book I read about just 3 goals at a time, although I am sticking to the 10 I’ve got, effectively I am focusing of a smaller number to get started.

I have made a start with my gratitude journal. Writing up to date all the things I’m grateful for his huge though!! I have a lot to be grateful for .

As I go on I suspect there will be some ironing out of my goals as I figure out how best things work for me.

Hope you all are going ok - or great - with your goals, wherever you’re at .
I will check in latest next Sunday and see how I went for the week.
Have a wonderful week ahead!

 

[Actualise]

Btw a tip from that self improvement book I just read that I’m finding useful is to check social media once a day. It streamlines things. This may suit some people more or less than others. Checking in for support whenever you need/want is the right frequency for you.
If your job is PR our social influencer then you’ll always need to check it I guess.

I am also in the main checking email once a day. Of course you need to open it more if you’re expecting something.

 

[TruthSeeker]

@Actualise Looks like you have done better this week! Maybe starting eating goals and 9 other goals is a bit ambitious. I have an eating goal.....and while eating during an 8 hr window is one recommended approach, maybe just stocking your fridge with vegetables, healthy proteins, and moderate amounts of fruits-all which you like to eat.....and making your goal....healthy eating during the day will get you headed in the right direction....or give yourself partial points for healthy eating......consider another option.

Was wondering if you could give yourself partial points for gratitude if you mentally incorporated it into your meditative process.....like .75 for thinking about what you are grateful for in a particular moment (that's where gratitude starts-you have to think about being grateful before writing, too.) and .25 for writing it in your journal. I believe that it is most important to "act or stop and think about gratitude....rather than writing it down."

 

[TruthSeeker]

@Actualise Looks like you have done better this week! Maybe starting eating goals and 9 other goals is a bit ambitious. I have an eating goal.....and while eating during an 8 hr window is one recommended approach, maybe just stocking your fridge with vegetables, healthy proteins, and moderate amounts of fruits-all which you like to eat.....and making your goal....healthy eating during the day will get you headed in the right direction....or give yourself partial points for healthy eating......consider another option.

Was wondering if you could give yourself partial points for gratitude if you mentally incorporated it into your meditative process.....like .75 for thinking about what you are grateful for in a particular moment (that's where gratitude starts-you have to think about being grateful before writing, too.) and .25 for writing it in your journal. I believe that it is most important to "act or stop and think about gratitude....rather than writing it down."

I made it through Spanish class without an anxiety attack! It is hard for me to hear people talk when the Zoom room lighting is poor (can't see their face) or they speak really fast...or low. I had 5 times the amount of reading to understand before class.....in comparison to last time, read okay, and wasn't asked any questions.....other than to read.......I can do this....I can do this...I can do this....I tell myself.....the words are coming back the more I hear and read them.....I just keep telling myself....I can do this.......and hope next weeks reading selection isn't about the career of some obscure futbol player! (obscure in my world, not his) Have a successful week with your goals.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I've been super busy building a coop and fencing areas for flocks so I haven't been on as much. I did really well with my 3 goals of writing down what I ate, checking my cbg every morning and eating mindfully. Then I lost my diabetes meter. I've found it again and added making my bed every day on to my original list. You guys are really doing well! I'm learning to center myself and be in the moment. The mindful eating is going exceptionally well. I also joined an online diabetes education group so I will be reminded of my goals all day.

 

[TruthSeeker]

I've been super busy building a coop and fencing areas for flocks so I haven't been on as much. I did really well with my 3 goals of writing down what I ate, checking my cbg every morning and eating mindfully. Then I lost my diabetes meter. I've found it again and added making my bed every day on to my original list. You guys are really doing well! I'm learning to center myself and be in the moment. The mindful eating is going exceptionally well. I also joined an online diabetes education group so I will be reminded of my goals all day.

That's awesome-glad you are centered with eating. I get grounded really fast with the eating mindfully when the scale tips the wrong direction. You go!!!

 

[Actualise]

@TruthSeeker thanks for thinking about how I could tackle gratitude and food.
I really thought hard about gratitude. I think it is a little difficult for me due to depersonalisation. It takes you down an existential rabbit hole (in my case) and I don’t know where to start. But I have a plan for now and will see how it goes.
Writing down dreams can be really tricky! They just go into the ether! You have to do it as fast as possible while you remember them.

Re food - how does everyone deal with this? I need to get a routine pattern going for it. @TruthSeeker stocking pantry well - yes. Then once a week? do grocery order with fresh fruit and veggies?(I’ve been getting them delivered.) I think so. I think I will pick one or two dishes for that week and shop for them then have other stuff that can easily be made into stuff to make up for the rest.

@TruthSeeker - that Spanish class sounds demanding! Is it advanced Spanish? I always find listening the hardest in language learning. Especially as you said you have a hearing problem you did well! You’re doing it!

@DharmaGirl that’s great. The writing down what I eat task I have found tricky in the past - I often went off course! Also mindful eating - mindful stuff in the present - that will be a big achievement for me when depersonalisation is over.

Go team!
I got some challenging news yesterday, so sending me a boost, appreciated .