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Back Surgery and needing help

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Thank you all for your replies. My brain is being dumb. I feel like I can't ask for pain meds. That I will be too needy or come across as med seeking if I do.

Great tips about the anesthesiologist. I will definitely talk to them. I also need to tell them I get super nauseous after anesthesia

The have narcotics without antiinflammatory additions.

Actually I had forgotten. So that's a good reminder. Thanks.

The other issue is I can't take the narcotics while I'm at work. So, I'd have to get through the work day with just tylenol

f I understand correctly, you grew up being taught that you and your needs aren't as important and those of other people. Understandable that this is a big deal. It's also a chance to practice a different approach.

Yes. This. My family's problems were always more important or worse than mine. I was also told, at times, that I was faking or attention seeking or a hypochondriac. So I've felt that I have to be strong, brave, not complain, etc

. Be sure you TELL people who you'll need help with. (I tend to avoid that....

Ugh. Yes, I've been avoiding that.

If you CAN, maybe you should slow down to match the pain level. I know not working isn't always an option but you don't have a moral obligation to work through the pain. Really you don't.

hmm.. my first response is, "We are so short staffed right now. They need me." Also money is a thing.
 
I feel like I can't ask for pain meds.
If you had a dog who felt, physically, like you do, would you want it to have pain meds? Would you tell it to just suck it up and deal with it?
That I will be too needy or come across as med seeking if I do.
I'm not really sure what "too needy" is. How would you define it? Serious question. Resist the temptation to blow the question off, think about it a little. I'd really like to know where you see the line between needing something and being "too needy". (I wonder if "too needy" doesn't just mean that someone around you prefers not to be bothered by your needs and that's the label they use to make you go away.)

And, I suppose you ARE "med seeking". You're looking for pain relief because you have pain and need to function while in pain. Nothing wrong with that, that's what those drugs are for! You're familiar with "seek and ye shall find"? Seriously, sometimes you have to TELL people what you're thinking/feeling if you want them to know. It's a big ask to expect them to accurately read your mind, you know? And, you're right, a percentage of people are going to think you're looking for drugs just because. Those people would just be WRONG and are nothing more than a roadblock on the route to good medical care. Who cares what they think? (Ok, you probably do and I probably would too, but they're still WRONG.)
hmm.. my first response is, "We are so short staffed right now. They need me." Also money is a thing.
LOL I kind of thought that. Those are the reasons I was trimming feet the day before I had surgery too. It probably wasn't ideal and it certainly made for a long couple of weeks, but I don't think it hurt anything in the long run. Just take things as easy as you can, ok?
 
If you had a dog who felt, physically, like you do, would you want it to have pain meds?

Of course.
Sigh. So yeah, I know. I should extend the same caring to me.

I'm not really sure what "too needy" is. How would you define it?

umm.. ok. If my needs impinge upon other people, I'm too needy? I don't know. I guess I feel like I should be able to resolve things myself. If i'm involving other people that's a problem. Also if my needs just get too strong. So that I can't tune them out. I'm being too needy.

Sigh. Yeah, I know that's distorted thinking. I'm thinking of the core beliefs thread, because these thoughts would definitely belong there. I mean, now an insider is thinking "I'm not supposed to have needs". I guess this is something to talk over in therapy.

It's a big ask to expect them to accurately read your mind, you know? A

Oops, should have read this before my GP appointment yesterday. And this is very helpful. Thank you. I didn't realize I do this, but I do. And yeah, it's a set up for disappointment.
 
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