Panic Attacks Before Leaving The House

[Srain]

This has been happening to me for years. I cannot leave the house without going through this ritual of panic. I can't take anything to calm me down so I have to get everything ready in advance:

Put shoes, bag, GPS (sometimes I have flashbacks and get turned or lost-whole other post), water by the door

Keys, sunglasses on the counter

Make sure I have money ahead of time so I don't have to go to the bank ( I don't have a pin number anymore because I started using it and forgetting I would and cleared my bank account) only cash
*If I have to go in then prepare to do it fast or get it from spouse

Make sure I have gas so I don't have to stop at the gas station - if I do prepare myself for the stop (extra anxiety)

Start getting ready 3hrs early because I tend to "lose thing" - mind block

Decide to take 1 or both dogs - if I take Service Dog will I take her in or leave her outside (can't take her in to therapy)
if I take both then I have to set up halters & leashes, check weather

if I leave them then I have to figure out the kong treats

I have to figure out when to take the dogs out just before I leave and the whole time they are watching me for signs of when to 'help' me.

My panic rises and I just start peeing over and over, good grief and pacing like a wild animal. I can't breathe and sometimes it's so bad I have not been able to make my appt. No calling them just putting everything back and going back to bed, although that's been awhile. Other times, I've 'lost' the keys, called where I was suppose to be and told them and rescheduled then found the keys. I have been to my appts on the wrong day, a day early. I have been close to being late and for me that was not acceptable AT ALL! I am a beast about being on time. There was only one time I was late for work and that was when I had a flat tire, changed it and 50yds later had another. I had no cell phone to call and was stuck in rush hr traffic for 2hrs. I use to have nightmares about being late and that was it.

I now can barely make my appts. due to panic attacks. All these bizarre rituals I go through now just to try to make it out the door and if I miss one I can't go. I check over and over them until I'm almost late.

It takes a lot to get out but at least I'm getting out there I guess.

Rain

 

[intothelight]

*If I have to go in then prepare to do it fast or get it from spouse

Hi Rain,

I was nodding my head as I read your post, as I find myself doing many of the same things, especially if I have to deviate from my normal routine. But your statement above, made my heart skip a bit, so I thought I would ask for clarification.

For me "get it from spouse" could involve my ex berating me for hours or involve broken bones. I pray this is not your case. Is the "get it" literal or something you think they will do? I know that I have projected feeling associated with my ex onto my husband, and they were totally unfounded.

Yes, I agree that it is good that you are getting out. It can be too easy to isolate when leaving causes anxiety. Also was excited to hear that you also have service dogs. I don't think I would be as mobile as I am without mine.

Wishing you peace.
Debbie

 

[Srain]

Debbie,

Thank you for responding and for asking a very valid question. This refers to me asking for the money. My husband is not a violent person in the least, although I have a history of that having not being the case at one point from an ex, this is not the guy that would be coming from. I appreciate your getting clarification.

Rain

 

[anni]

I read and nodded, too, to so much! It got kind of bad some years ago, because I had children to get ready to leave the house and whew- beyond exhausting.

I'm only replying ( as opposed to 'just agreeing' with so much here ) because it does get better, seriously. Therapy helped hugely, and I don't think it was only the healing process, my T was very good at coming up with various practical advice which was just plain helpful. I've only recently stopped having to make sure I fill up at a gas station which still offers the 'pump gas for you' service, for instance. I used to hate that, and my T just suggested I look around and see if I could find one of those. There aren't many, but some. The 'have one place for your keys' suggestion just doesn't work, as you probably know. :) I have off and on ( they stop working over time ) those silly, bulky things attached to the keychain where you can clap or whistle and the beep goes off. Another find-the-dam-keys thing which works for me is the size of the whole thing- it's actually laughable, my keys, the number of keychains and odd bits I have on the dam thing. It's so embaressing my husband won't use them but boy are they easy to spot in the house. It's been little things that made it easier slowly- plus the healing process. I admit to almost never leaving the house without this silly riding crop that is always on the mirror by the front door and yes, the ritual is still somewhat cumbersome beforehand but the blind panic fades, that's all. I have to go out this morning and made my husband a little crazy last night by making sure a few things were in place but gosh- it's just nothing like it used to be, that's all. You're doing everything you can to get through your healing- it'll get better.

Do take care,

Anni

 

[PTSD sufferer]

Rain,

I have exactly the same problem. I barely leave the house and have to ask my husband to top up fuel in the car weeks in advance of needing to drive anywhere.

In the last week the anxiety has been so bad that I have only left the house when my husband was with me. I can't even walk 5 metres to the mail box! Its really starting to irritate me.

I tried talking myself through it step by step, but it is little help. In the last two weeks I have made one trip to the corner shops by myself, got a takeaway coffee and turned promptly back around...

Does anyone have any tips or tricks to help calm down and carry on?

Liz

 

[cherryblossom]

Liz,

I think you need to consider why you can't leave the house. You need to work out what causes your anxiety, then work on those issues. What you are afraid of, and whether these are legitimate and logical concerns, and whether your anxieties are unfounded or not. To properly evaluate your anxieties, you have to be totally honest with yourself, and base your reasoning on your current circumstances, not base it on past events.

 

[PTSD sufferer]

Thanks for the advice cherry blossom,

I think my case is strange. I don't like leaving the house because I worry I will get anxious - so I am anxious because I might get anxious. Weird I know. I don't like the idea of getting lost or being by myself if I get anxious. I tell myself there is nothing wrong with getting lost or getting anxious, I can handle it... but it doesn't really help. I'm not sure if there is anything else underlying my anxiety, guess I should talk to my therapist about it...if I can get there...