Extremely Overwhelmed

[whiteraven]

I woke with severe back pain at 2am Monday. After a couple of hours of trying hot showers, a heating pad, herbal tea, and I don't remember what all else, it shifted to my right flank. I left at 630 and drove myself to the ER (my neighbor, who has said to call her anytime, did not answer, most of the day, as it turned out), was in the ER until 1pm, then went to surgery to have a kidney stone removed and a stint put in place. I was released today, I couldn't pick up my meds because the pharmacy suffered a power outage, and now I have another appointment on Monday to have the stint removed in the middle of the damn afternoon, which means I'm going to have to take half a day off of work. I was hoping to be off tomorrow, but even that is going to seriously cut into my personal time, which I was saving for the vacation I never take. 3 days in April and 5 in May. Oh, and they want me to see my primary care person within the next 3 days (who is really just a clinic doctor), even though they ran all sorts of tests in the hospital and she won't have anything to offer anyway.

Oh, and no one to talk to. And no money to pay the $4000 I'm going to owe. No therapy this week because--kidney stone--andandandand.

Mom isn't talking to me much because she's taking care of my sister.

Oh, and all the BS going on with my condo. It all comes down to money and lack of control.

I want to scream and break things. I want the world to go dark, because I just can't manage it anymore.

 

[littleoc]

Hearing you

If this helps any, it might benefit you to ask the hospital for financial assistance or aid. Many hospitals, especially nonprofit ones (which most are) in the United States (I'm not sure where you are, and you don't have to say), will willingly provide options to you for payment plans, reduced bills, or bill forgiveness (where you don't have to pay them back at all, depending on your circumstances).

In the United States, at least, medical bills aren't legally allowed to cause credit score changes. So, if you are in the US and can't pay and they don't work with you, don't panic. Just do your best.

If it goes to collections, try not to answer the phone or confirm your identity/address/etc. If you do answer, claim you do not know that that is money you actually own, because honestly they don't know either and could be making a mistake regardless. Specifically, ask for an itemized statement proving that the bill is in fact yours. They likely won't have one, as it would be a violation of your rights, and you may never hear back from them.

Hopefully you won't have to worry about that I'm any country.

I'm sorry you're so overwhelmed. I hope that's the only kidney stone you ever need removing, though. Glad you were okay.

 

[Friday]

And no money to pay the $4000 I'm going to owe.

Your life is worth waaaaaaay more than 4K.

Even McKidnap&Ransom? Charge a 10k minimum. 2 million for a service member. More for those of us who were/are actually insured. I used to use henna “tattoo” my policy # & phone number, after I was held for a few months, because my company downgraded… before I learned to take out private K&R insurance. Because… Nope! Even if “my” Evil Empire are being bastards? Here’s my personal policy number. Call them. They’ll pay AND send transport. No fuss, no muss.

Ever since W added medical bills to credit reports (it USED TO BE education & medical were on different tables, now only education is) the whole OMFG you’re in MEDICAL debt?!? Has become a thing. That’s just politics. And what politicians “count”? Can f*ck right off. It’s medical debt. Speaking as someone who has been in MILLIONS of medical debt (at a certain point? It becomes like Monopoly money. It’s not “real”, but an impossible number. I a, EXTREMELY LUCKY. It was a childrens debt, which will treat regardless of ability to pay, so 100k per day added expense for a few months? Continued to happen.)… it’s 4 f*cking grand. That you will “care” about FAR more than 4 million. Because it’s a real number, instead of an impossible number. But? Think of it like 4 million. $20 a month, token payment, keeps your credit score GOLD. Whilst the rest is sorted. And it will be. Even if it takes 30 years. Which it won’t. Because everyhing shifts around. But? $20 a month. Pay the token. The rest will be atrophied by grants and forgiveness and other politics. Whilst your credit score avoids the hit.

You’re alive.

And? You’re worth a helluva lot more than 4K. Full stop.

 

[whiteraven]

Think of it like 4 million. $20 a month, token payment, keeps your credit score GOLD.

I couldn't give a f*ck about my credit score. And this hospital does NOT accept anything under $75/month. Period. If you don't pay, they send you to collections. I care more about the hassle. I've been here so many times, and I know how I get. I've tried just not worrying about it, but I can't.

Even if it takes 30 years.

Well, I'll be dead, so...My student loan will be paid off when I'm 87. I'm already trying to pay off medical debt from two places last year--at $150/month.

If this helps any, it might benefit you to ask the hospital for financial assistance or aid.

I make too much for assistance. I've been here many, many times. They don't care about your expenses, only about your income.

If it goes to collections, try not to answer the phone or confirm your identity/address/etc. I

Thanks. Good idea.

 

[DarkVixen]

I woke with severe back pain at 2am Monday. After a couple of hours of trying hot showers, a heating pad, herbal tea, and I don't remember what all else, it shifted to my right flank. I left at 630 and drove myself to the ER (my neighbor, who has said to call her anytime, did not answer, most of the day, as it turned out), was in the ER until 1pm, then went to surgery to have a kidney stone removed and a stint put in place. I was released today, I couldn't pick up my meds because the pharmacy suffered a power outage, and now I have another appointment on Monday to have the stint removed in the middle of the damn afternoon, which means I'm going to have to take half a day off of work. I was hoping to be off tomorrow, but even that is going to seriously cut into my personal time, which I was saving for the vacation I never take. 3 days in April and 5 in May. Oh, and they want me to see my primary care person within the next 3 days (who is really just a clinic doctor), even though they ran all sorts of tests in the hospital and she won't have anything to offer anyway.

Oh, and no one to talk to. And no money to pay the $4000 I'm going to owe. No therapy this week because--kidney stone--andandandand.

Mom isn't talking to me much because she's taking care of my sister.

Oh, and all the BS going on with my condo. It all comes down to money and lack of control.

I want to scream and break things. I want the world to go dark, because I just can't manage it anymore.

I've passed kidney stones and like you my first one sent me to the ER. Truthful as painful as they are, I passed all the rest at home by drinking lots and lots of water and taking pain medication. Sometimes it's not worth going to the ER. Use your better judgment thou not every situation is the same.

 

[whiteraven]

I've passed kidney stones and like you my first one sent me to the ER. Truthful as painful as they are, I passed all the rest at home by drinking lots and lots of water and taking pain medication. Sometimes it's not worth going to the ER. Use your better judgment thou not every situation is the same.

I've had to go twice because I was septic on top of the stone. The first was too big to pass, and the one on Monday was blocked by infection. I'd LOVE to have to not go, but the infection likely would have just gotten worse, and I'd'a ended up there anyway.

 

[DarkVixen]

I've had to go twice because I was septic on top of the stone. The first was too big to pass, and the one on Monday was blocked by infection. I'd LOVE to have to not go, but the infection likely would have just gotten worse, and I'd'a ended up there anyway.

Well then forget my advice. Yeah that's not something you mess with at home. I wish I had better advice for you.

 

[Friday]

How is today?

Dysreg spiking can spiral out in weird ways, or settle, or come & go. As you undoubtedly well know.

How are you managing? Caught your patterns with this one, yet?

 

[whiteraven]

How is today?

Dysreg spiking can spiral out in weird ways, or settle, or come & go. As you undoubtedly well know.

How are you managing? Caught your patterns with this one, yet?

Thanks for asking! I'm doing better today. I cancelled everything I had planned for the weekend, which was a huge help. My brother, who hasn't been here in over 3 years, visited and picked up some wood that's been in my living room for that long. But he also brought lunch and hung out for awhile, which was super nice. And I finallyfinallyfinally did a few things in the kitchen I've been avoiding for over a year. The only reason I did them was in case my brother wanted to see, but I'm sooo glad they are done. Now I can call someone and get an estimate on repairs and some remodeling.

I get my stent out tomorrow--another good thing. I think I get very overwhelmed when I *have* to do things (even if they are things I like) or when I have to do something that is weaved into my trauma. Anything money or medicine related, changing the smoke detector batteries, anything that reminds me of death (which is, like, just about everything), anything that might get me in trouble. The overwhelm generally doesn't stick around long, but while it's here, I feel like I'm completely alone with it, and I get panicky.

Two medical things next week (one a vet appointment for my cat), so I'm just looking forward to the week after.