Being kinder to myself makes me anxious?

[BuildingSelf24]

I’ve been reading psych books to try to learn how to deal with my symptoms. It’s really helpful but whenever not avoiding feelings or relationships come up I feel anxious. The few books I’ve read so far all say that it helps to feel less afraid or ashamed of my feelings and to try to connect with others. Every time this is mentioned I feel resistant to it. I acknowledge they are right and I should be kinder to my emotional self, but I end up distressed and dissociate a bit. I feel antsy and anxious.

Emotions are something rarely brought up in my family and even shamed when expressed, so I get why I’d be so averse to it. But how can I be more open when I just want to run from the distress?

 

[Dark.Green.Feathers]

I don’t have very good advice on how to do it, but a lot of things in getting better are sitting with discomfort/distress/bad emotion until it stops. It hurts because it’s there to try and protect from something. Getting through to when it calms down starts wearing away at the feeling of need to do that.

Do you have any ways to ground yourself? Without removing the source of stress.

 

[arfie]

a post like this one is a tool which i find quite effective. writing it out is a considerable help, all by its lonesome. when other community members care to share their takes on whatever i post, it reinforces the step and often nets me valuable insights.

 

[BuildingSelf24]

I don’t have very good advice on how to do it, but a lot of things in getting better are sitting with discomfort/distress/bad emotion until it stops. It hurts because it’s there to try and protect from something. Getting through to when it calms down starts wearing away at the feeling of need to do that.

Do you have any ways to ground yourself? Without removing the source of stress.

Yea. I have grounding techniques I’ve learned. My favorite is the Store. You envision a store that has everything you need in detail and you get the item that will help you feel safe and grounded. I feel better instantly when I do this I connect to a anime I watched as a kid, Xxxholic.

I think it’s hard for me to sit with the distress. I can sit through other emotions but that one is particularly difficult. I’ll try to remind myself that it’s only there to protect me. Thank you!