Undiagnosed Is anybody anhedonic from C-PTSD?

[identitycrisis]

Hi everyone, anybody here with experience of anhedonia? I've been like it since 2010 and I'm not sure if it's caused by childhood trauma or a worn out dopamine reward system caused by years of heavy weed smoking and self soothing with porn.
P.s. I gave up on the coping mechanisms last year, but I still feel nothing emotionally.
Any advice?

 

[Riley Jones]

Hello, thank you for sharing your experience with anhedonia. Many individuals with PTSD and CPTSD struggle with anhedonia as a result of trauma and coping mechanisms. It's common to feel emotionally numb or disconnected as a way to protect oneself from overwhelming emotions.

It's positive to hear that you have recognized the coping mechanisms and have taken steps to discontinue them. It's essential to give yourself credit for that progress. However, if you continue to feel emotionally numb, it may be beneficial to seek professional support from a therapist or psychiatrist who specializes in trauma and can help you navigate through these challenging emotions.

On myptsd.com, there are specific forums dedicated to discussing trauma and related topics where you can connect with others who may have similar experiences. Feel free to explore these forums and share your story to receive support and insights from the community.

Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and reaching out for support is a courageous step towards healing. Take care of yourself and be gentle with yourself as you navigate through this process.

 

[Sideways]

anybody here with experience of anhedonia?

Yep - with my Depression I get rock solid anhedonia. Sucks! It’s far more typically associated with depression than ptsd, but it can very definitely be associated with cannabis use as well.

Worth seeing someone who can figure out what’s causing it so that you can come up with a strategy for fixing it. Because life can be way more enjoyable than you’re probably experiencing right now.

 

[OM_™]

Anhedonia in Posttraumatic Stress Disorder: Prevalence, Phenotypes, and Neural Circuitry - PubMed < Found this article for you...hope it helps.

My anhedonia started at the age of 7 when my father killed my pet goat 'Nanny' and her two kids and forced me to eat the meat as he threatened me with a fresh green 'switch'. My father, mother, grandmother, brother and sister were all laughing at me. It was the first time I can remember being depressed and thereafter a persistent feeling of unhappiness and separateness. CSA from a family friend began about two years later and the anhedonia then became chronic.

I did alcohol, weed, LSD a couple of times, lots of porn and sexual addiction but the anhedonia persisted.

I watch a lot of mainly 'acerbic/cynical' comedy but sometimes find myself triggering when comedians joke about sex, paedophilia and family violence.

I'm 68 and diagnosed with CPTSD and MDD. The Duloxetine that my psychiatrist prescribed last December was good for about three months but the anhedonia has now returned with renewed vigour.

 

[identitycrisis]

Thank you all for replying.
I know that I dissociated as a boy to survive my psychopathic father's wrath, my mother was unable to help, so I had to learn to be invisible. I've used the weed and porn over the years as a codependent way of feeling good because inside I'm full of self loathing. I am unable to connect with myself, let alone other people. I have no trust and the world is a scary place. Is there any particular therapy that can help?

 

[Rose White]

Is there any particular therapy that can help?

I would hesitate to focus on the *kind* of therapy and instead on just getting through the door to meet a few therapists and see if any of them stir any feelings or thoughts in you.

 

[Hedge]

I found this thread interesting as I have not been diagnosed with anhedonia but I was saying to my therapist that I had to be invisible as a child to survive. The topic came up when we were discussing the results of a Schema Therapy investigation. I have been diagnosed with both Complicated Grief and C-PTSD which stems from a recent experience but one of which is tied to CSA, emotional and mental abuse, negligence of the things that a child needs and a fairly persistent loss of my own identity to around about when I turned 28. My life started changing at that time as I began to find my own path.

Getting to see a therapist is a first step and one where you can explore therapies that may help your particular circumstances. I was fortunate to find a good psychologist who listens to me and allows me the space to just be myself or at least the person who l want to be. It has taken me a long time and a dedication to a desire to change which has helped me a lot.

 

[Friday]

Anhedonia is rare for me.

What’s far more typical for me

- Emotions shut off entirely (which would be bliss, if I could feel bliss, but definitely energising & clarifying & makes almost everything infinitely easier… including treating people I love in a loving way, and similar. Just because I don’t feel anything, doesn’t mean my brain falls out of my head. I know I love this person, intellectually, and it just became a helluva lot easier to treat them, the way they deserve to be treated).

- Cold/Hard = I only feel extreme emotions, in very limited ways. For something to rise to the level of my feeling it? It’s a BIG thing. And even then? It’s just a kiss, a whisper, of spark or sparkle attached.

- Numb = Everything is muddy, blunted, limited & short lived.

I’m pretty hedonistic by nature, so when anhedonia DOES crop up? It’s a very strange thing.

 

[Friday]

@identitycrisis Please log in, in order to post, thanks!

 

[identitycrisis]

Thank you all for your help. Maybe my problem is more to do with blunted emotions caused by trauma/dissociation. I stopped using cannabis last December, so I have only just started to realise that my life has been a succession of one trauma after another (with the occasional 'win' along the path), through attending narcotics anonymous I now realise that heavy substance use is traumatic in itself.
I am hard wired neurologically to be extra vigilant for danger which then makes me perceive experiences in a pessimistic way which ends up triggering me, I know it's a vicious circle that hopefully therapy can help break.
Unfortunately I don't have the funds to try out different therapists and the national health system in the Uk is limited for options and long waiting lists for therapy. I am currently on a waiting list for CAT therapy which might be another couple of months or more before it begins.
I also feel that since I stopped being able to cry over 8 years ago, I am possibly in the grip of emotional constipation and it would be worth me finding a therapist who specialises in grief. Any thoughts??

 

[OM_™]

I’m pretty hedonistic by nature, so when anhedonia DOES crop up? It’s a very strange thing.

Hi Friday, Couldn’t hedonism be a behavioural trait / response to having anhedonia? Sometimes I find l am so totally numb to everything that I have to seek extreme pleasure to feel anything at all?!

 

[abovedown]

My anhedonia started at the age of 7 when my father killed my pet goat 'Nanny' and her two kids and forced me to eat the meat as he threatened me with a fresh green 'switch'. My father, mother, grandmother, brother and sister were all laughing at m

Jeez to force a kid to eat their pet . Way to traumatize anyone