I'm Done

[alixipain]

I have been in knots the last 4 days; I take care of me and my cat. Yes I live paycheck to paycheck. I save some but not enough. But tonight tells me I've wasted my time! I have prolonged it long enough. I was told by my life raft that she’s done, that I'm dangerous, and that she can't trust me.

What am I suppose to do?

I do everything she asked me, she wanted me to lose some weight so I starved myself till I got down to 200. I look for jobs, even though I don’t really want to change jobs again.

I was told to check myself in, that she is done.

All because I stopped by and gave her a live tulip, I was interrogated on why I would come by at 8pm on a Tuesday night with a flower!

Try to do something that makes me happy and its turned to shit!

 

[Srain]

I have been in knots the last 4 days; I take care of me and my cat. Yes I live paycheck to paycheck. I save some but not enough. But tonight tells me I've wasted my time! I have prolonged it long enough.

What am I suppose to do?



Cut her loose!

I'm sorry but she sounds so seriously selfish and all about herself, I don't know how anyone could ever give her enough...anyone that has to do this and that and come to find out that still isn't enough...screw you!

I was told by my life raft that she’s done, that I'm dangerous, and that she can't trust me.

That life raft had so many holes, it was taking on water before leaving shore. It was not you, it was her. You are worth much more than that, IMO. "Pot calling the kettle black"(heard that recently

), I believe the term goes! Seems your "life raft" was looking for a ride...food for thought.

I think if you want to be a plumber and love doing it, then do it! :) If, in this economy, you have a job at all, you are doing awesome!! Your weight is hardly an issue when just trying to make it with PTSD and hold a job, when you love someone and care about them, since when is a number or waist size a major topic?? You have support here and a good thing would be looking for a therapist. This gal was hypercritical and actually sounded very mean to you from what you relayed here. I think moving away from that might be a very good thing.

Just my take. Sending you peace and strength,
Rain

 

[anni]

Gosh, I do hope you know most women would have died with delight, had their men showed up out of the blue with a live tulip to brighten a dim February evening, right? It does indeed sound as if you've sort of been dancing to her tune, and can never dance fast enough, long enough, or well enough to be able to pay her particular fiddler. I did that, or tried to- it's flatly impossible, that's all. There will of course always, always be something else 'wrong', imperfect, not good enough, or imcomplete about you which needs to be improved 'before'.Before what? Before this person can accept the gift of yourself in their life? If this were someone else's story, being the kind person you sound like from your writings, what would you say?

You are a complete person, with complete gifts in and of yourself at this moment-with a job you like, going forward in life as well as you can- working hard. It's just tough to see this 'what should I do' without answering. Noone can tell anyone what to do by way of 'should'- no gurus here. I do wish, however, you would genuinely value yourself to the extent that you disallowed anyone else to devalue your huge worth. This might shed light on the 'should'?

My husband does this sort of thing on a regular basis, for what it's worth- brings some little thing to brighten a dull evening or moment. I've never, ever gotten used to it and just never will. If I deeply suspect him of walking on water I've just never caught him at it yet.

Please do be kind to yourself, and take much care,

Anni