Anxiety Is Killing Me

[jesse]

I think my anxiety is the worse it has ever been. I am being seriously harassed by a federal investigator because I spoke on the phone with an alleged suspect of some bulls#$t charge they are trying to press on this guy. I am not going to divulge the details the point is I was 2500 miles away when this incident happened. This lady is really bullying me and now that I work for the federal gov't she thinks she has free reign. She called a abatoir that I will eventually be working at with inquiries about me! I am not a suspect!!! I told my supervisor and now internal affairs is on the case. I have been doing a sworn statement and am getting flack from them too. I am trying to stay calm and cool but the anxiety is bad. I have been running my ass off on the treadmill every day and that has helped some for sure. Just really need some support. I am in training in Texas so far away from home and support.

Having a hard time filtering things trying to think before reacting. I don't feel fear of these people just anger.

Yikes!!!

 

[missd84]

I hope that your situation gets better. I can understand your frustration.

 

[Rob_Dog19]

:( that's terrible! i'm sorry

 

[beth metzker]

that sounds awful!!! i'm sorry your going through so much but its kind of hard to understand the whole story....i know you cant tell no more then that though!! well good luck and god bless!!

 

[Reclusive]

Oh, hang in there, take that extra time for yourself. Pamper yourself and get that extra running in! This totally sucks, but you just have to slog through it and then it'll be over.

 

[jesse]

Thanks guys. I made myself go out with some of the other vets tonight for frozen yogurt. I felt panicky at first but then it was really nice. It helped a lot to get out and meet new people for a few hours. I am trying is all I can say.

 

[AliveInside]

I think my anxiety is the worse it has ever been. I am being seriously harassed by a federal investigator because I spoke on the phone with an alleged suspect of some bulls#$t charge they are trying to press on this guy. I am not going to divulge the details the point is I was 2500 miles away when this incident happened. This lady is really bullying me and now that I work for the federal gov't she thinks she has free reign. She called a abatoir that I will eventually be working at with inquiries about me! I am not a suspect!!! I told my supervisor and now internal affairs is on the case. I have been doing a sworn statement and am getting flack from them too. I am trying to stay calm and cool but the anxiety is bad. I have been running my ass off on the treadmill every day and that has helped some for sure. Just really need some support. I am in training in Texas so far away from home and support.

Having a hard time filtering things trying to think before reacting. I don't feel fear of these people just anger.

Yikes!!!

You sound smart and like you are managing the situation pretty well if you can put it all out in post like that! You've got all the right ideas IMO don't let the @#%@$ get you down!!!

 

[Srain]

I agree with Aliveinside, writing it out and then allowing yourself to take a breather is a great idea. Going back and looking at what you wrote after that may give you a different perspective.

Sometimes our anxiety makes a situation that's managed look like chaos because that's what anxiety feels like with the adrenaline pumping madly through our veins. I think you said it all at the end of your post, you are reacting. If you back off and look at it all again without reacting then things do look entirely different. You did well to go out, I believe you are on the right track. Good luck.

Welcome :)
Rain

 

[Reclusive]

Go you with getting out and having some fun! That's pretty huge! High-five!

 

[anni]

I'm guessing with a government job you're disallowed a small dose of Lorazapam once in awhile? Meds are a pain, I know-it's just that once the adrenaline hits the system it takes an awfully long time to get it the heck out of there-makes it tougher to be able to get out of your own way and process stuff, I know. Have you tried natural supplements like St. John's Wort or Valerian? I hate to sound like an old biddy but for some reason-seriously- chamomile works, it just does.

It does sound like you're doing well finding your own path with this, distracting with socializing and burning it off running. Please excuse if the above was less than helpful- just thought I'd offer them since it is an awful way to live, having that stupid anxiety keep a hold of you 24/7, I know.

Do take care,

Anni