I am more interested in what you think will be accomplished by disclosing symptoms, or not disclosing them even? Considering if your therapist is aware, obviously, that you have complex trauma and PTSD diagnosis?
She is aware I have PTSD (she diagnosed me as PTSD, not anything about complex, but I have a complex history). I figure if she knows them she will be better able to help me manage them while working through the trauma, and help me heal from them. Like if she is teaching me mindfulness and relaxation skills for managing anxiety due to processing the trauma memories, but all I am really doing is dissociating to numb...well seems like her having the info would help her teach me how to not do that...that sort of thing.
I think telling someone could really be helpful for me to be able to face problems. I am a master of secrets, and I have kept some of my more significant "symptoms" deep secrets. I think telling someone would feel good in some ways. Like a weight off my shoulders and take the power away from it.
And the not...well I have a very deep feel that she will decided I am not recovering fast enough, or am just too messed up and decide she is wasting her time on me and kick me out or check out herself. It happened when I was 20. This time I am really putting it out there as much as I could. I know it is unlikely, but it is scary still.
Also, if I admit to things that seem like problems and she confirms they are, well it removed some of my last shreds of denial I have left...and that is always a bummer.
One more fear, on these lines is, I feel like if I tell her things she will think I am not telling the truth or being dramatic or attention seeking and be less inclined to help me.
So there are my thoughts both ways on that.
