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Christmas V PTSD

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nugget

MyPTSD Pro
Ah Christmas time, a time for rejoicing, crap its a time for all others to feel great and throw there cares out the window and enjoy the silly season. Why the hell dont my friends realize that PTSD dosent take holidays it wants to stay around and join in and make me the Grinch of the festive season. I cant ignore my symptoms but I have to put my them on hold so every other bastard can enjoy the day. The day will be full of triggers for me i know most of them so i can set my day in advance as to where to hide when the going gets tough. So this year we are having xmas at our place ive brought the green paint i shall be on my best behavior, pleasant kind and courteous. Not a drop of Gods nectar shall pass my parched lips just in case a few home truths come out and make there day uncomfortable. But knowing who i am i shall be ok on the outside, they wont notice anything different about me other that i might use the toilet a bit more often (only place i know where you can have five minutes to yourself) so Merry F---en Christmas to you and your families.

PS; To the bloke who gave me PTSD :up-yours: i thank you, you have given me reason to live, to beat you and to enjoy Christmas and life again also meeting such wonderful people on the forum would of never happened.
 
Why be nice? Just be yourself and screw the rest of it. I have people who want to try to do guilt stuff about 'why don't you want to spend time with?' ...

I have no patience for it and tell them I have no patience for it, and I'm done with it. But even when everything is 'okay' I don't want to be around them so why would it be different when it's the holidays? To me, it's not.

But, I can be one track minded. I don't have a husband or kids hoping to celebrate the holidays. It's my own choice, and only for myself, so I don't have the same considerations of many with families of their own. I can't imagine.

As far as I can tell, whether people have PTSD or not, a whole lot of people are miserable, tense, and unhappy during the holidays so I really think it's not much about good cheer and all that stuff anyway.
 
To cass i dont need to tell you why you have to play nice you know that one do it for your gran (go the nanas) Keep your legs crossed and your hands in your pockets, you can still take off if going gets to tough chat soon. Rob
 
I hate it too. Lucky this year though. I'll be off work and don't have to see the violent xmas. Take care Nugget. Behave.
 
ERRYYN, tried just being myself just upsets the party dont realy mind down playing my symptoms a little bit. In a weird way the party goes ok i go ok just crash and burn the next day a lot easier.
 
I am happy that hubs seems to get the added stress I cannot hang... But his parents are supposed to too. Kids well I know the oldest cas say he gets it, no way lil' one can. But I am supposed to be expected to not push myself and people are supposed to get it. I guess we will see when I get there how everyone holds to it and understands. At least my hubs will be able to take all to his parents and I don't think I will be pushed.

Since I am going to be forced to drive alone, I will crash upon arrivial for at least a few days. I may ask hubs after he gets there to fly back and drive me in and leave the kids at his parents. I just can't and don't know if I can do it alone... He did not leave me a cash card and only so much $$$ to get there.

I think I will be hiding and not seen so much for Christmas. I wish we could take PTSD breaks, wouldn't that be nice!
 
To cass i dont need to tell you why you have to play nice you know that one do it for your gran (go the nanas) Keep your legs crossed and your hands in your pockets, you can still take off if going gets to tough chat soon. Rob
giggles

thanks for reminding me GRANDMA was coming *bleh*

curls up and hides.

I have to play nice for the kids. They deserve a happy christmas. What they don't need is aunty cass freaking out on them.
 
My older ones get a kick out of a "crazy aunt"... all those cats and get what they want. Not all bad... I swear in 20 - 30 more years I will be that crazy cat lady on the "Simpson's"
 
Ba Hum Bug !!!!

spend $$, play nice, ...

Christmas is for the kids... As a grown up, I haven't found it much fun..

It's not like on TV where they have a "Happy Ending" ya know what I mean?

I want to be more up beat. I guess the lack of $ to buy gifts for others has made me depressed.

I was going to make gifts for several people... then sprained my ankle. Makes it difficult to stand or move around... As I weld horse shoe art items... just for fun...

D (wildcritter44)
 
I personally think what disgusts me more, is that Christmas has simply become a time that a price tag has been placed upon, instead of its true meaning for just spending time with others, helping others less fortunate than ourselves, etc etc... instead now people just expect gifts.
 
I am not looking forward to Christmas as it reminds me of all the ones in the past 7 years. Just empty. The whole day is a charade. No true depth of feeling, the ones I spent with my mom, dad, and sis. I got thru the holidays because of my then fiance, now husband (on the phone and online) and my awesome sister. Watching my parents crumble even further was so depressing. I am glad that I am not spending the holiday with my mother. But I am spending it with Scott's parents. The only time I don't feel awkward around his mother (MIL) is when we have all had something to drink.
 
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