General Your Own Space

[Zipperhead]

This really isn't going well. Bad day, and it started with me painting myself into a corner. I guess there wasn't much to gain to begin with, and the whole suject should have died with the other thread closing. I guess I should have just left it lay and kept my insecurities to myself. If I wasn't welcome, then I'm sure I would have been told dirrectly. I wasn't expecting feelings to be ruffled, I just needed to know I was still welcome. I took the vote personnally and I should not have. It wasn't about me, and I appologise for venting.

 

[Army_Brat_88]

If I wasn't welcome, then I'm sure I would have been told dirrectly.

Yep.

I just imagined a separate column labeled "combat PTSD supporters".

Yep.

We are all in this fight together, sufferers and supporters.

Yep.

I wasn't expecting feelings to be ruffled, I just needed to know I was still welcome.

You very much are.

I took the vote personnally and I should not have. It wasn't about me, and I appologise for venting.

:tup: Now that's what I call human progress - PTSD or none.

I agree with Navy, we were all doing great prior. Let's get back to that.

 

[Navy Spouse]

Zipperhead, I'm glad you realize the vote was not a way of getting you off the supporters sight. Please do not apologize for venting. It all seems so silly now, but correction- 100% of the people who voted feel you should be here!;):)

 

[wcdean]

Today myself I am drained and feel really down because of my husbands PTSD, not him himself but his PTSD, which was caused by an idiotic driver who did not take that extra 30 seconds to check the road, before my husbands path.

This is one of my primary concerns with my wife, as my PTSD is from a car accident. She tries not to get frustrated when she changes lanes and I have to check to make sure that its clear; it's not that I don't trust her, but I didn't look twice and it... well we all know what happened.

So it's not because I don't trust her, but rather to protect her. I don't know what I would do if the same thing happened to her or heaven forbid if I lost her as she is sooooo instrumental in my recovery and health. I also get irritated when people pull out, don't look, cut off, and especially don't use blinkers. Knowing that it does affect her, she will rarely talk about it to me, but rather simply says "it's okay, baby I understand".

I still know it bothers her though, but I hope that maybe she will get on here and find what I have found, a wonderful resource for not only me but also for her.

Thanks guys.

 

[jenkins123]

Two things to say on this thread; firstly to Navy spouse who said

I had began to feel like we were taking over the PTSD supporters column

.

Not at all. I for one, as a non combat supporter have gotten a lot from the combat supporters views, experiences etc, when you came over to this area more recently.

Secondly to Zipperhead, as I've said before it is great to hear from sufferers, as it ALWAYS offers an insight we supporters crave from those we care about who have not, for whatever reasons,been able to share as you do.

 

[ISupportHer]

I didn't vote. Was thinking about what to say then realized the decision was made.

I came here thinking the only thing that would help would be to talk with other husbands of women with sexual related traumas. Now 2 years later, I have a few close friends here and not a one of them fit that mold.

I am not saying that I do not hear that others want to associate with others "like" them. I get that, I really do. I just wonder if I would have run across the friends that mean so much to me if I had primarily spent my time in a sexual assault supporters area.

ISH

 

[LoyalOne]

100% of the people who posted thought I shouldn't be here. Maybe Anthony isn't being as silly as you all thought by not allowing a separate space. Do you think maybe he saw the issue better than anyone else? What you all would be throwing away if you formed your own "club house?"

I didn't want a clubhouse. I think things are fine. I just thought it would be an organizational move, like putting some content in a presentation on a different Powerpoint slide, to make the whole thing easier to read. You can still just press >> if you want to see it. Honest to God, I didn't think it seemed like a big deal.

I can only assume Anthony knows 5 million times more about managing this kind of thing than I do. It's his house, and I assume his decisions are in our best interest. So it's an idea he vetoed. No biggie.

I love having sufferers who feel that they can brave the venting in the supporters forum. Lots of people would not want to see what the other half is saying - it's difficult enough trying to deal with your day to day, without seeing people saying the things you are secretly afraid the people you love are saying. I think it is awfully brave of you to come in here and read things that upset you because you want to understand. You get 100% awesome credit for that.

 

[Zipperhead]

it's difficult enough trying to deal with your day to day, without seeing people saying the things you are secretly afraid the people you love are saying.

That's why I'm in there. I want to know what I can say to make it better. The sad part is that I am not seeing allot of hope. So I tried to give hope. It was a bit greedy on my part. I wanted you all to have hope so that my wife might have hope. My wife doesn't come onto forums however, so I guess it was more of a plee than a direct attempt at fixing my problem. Still, I know you all need a place to vent too. I understand that now. Just because you're venting doesn't mean you're giving up. It's like soldiers. You know things are still okay as long as they are complaining. Once they stop, watch out. They have given up hope. I guess I just wish the responses to the venting would show more hope. Supporting each other instead of condemning the sufferer.

My reality is that the negative waves are getting to me. I wish the best for all of you, and if I can help, I will. But I need to fix me too. I need all the hope I can get right now. So if I'm not hanging around your area for awhile, it's not your fault. I just can't fight 2 battles at the same time. Please try to keep the hope alive. Your guys are still in there. Help them fight, don't hold them under till they drown.

 

[amethist]

Zipperhead, I was wondering if you had seen or read this post of Nicolette's.

[DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/a-reminder-to-sufferers-posting-in-this-section.17550/[/DLMURL]

As I have said we do appreciate input from sufferers, but please do as Nicolette request's, and remember that this is primarily for supporters. We would not dream of coming across to your section and diving in about something that you or any other sufferer is concerned about.

This is no way meant to offend anyone, just a reminder of the fine line that Nicolette mentioned in her thread.

Amethist

 

[LoyalOne]

It's like soldiers. You know things are still okay as long as they are complaining.

It's exactly like that, mister. Hey, what can I say? They rub off on us. :D

You go where you need to go, buddy. Like you say; you need to take care of you.

 

[wcdean]

Knowing that it does affect her, she will rarely talk about it to me, but rather simply says "it's okay, baby I understand".

I love having sufferers who feel that they can brave the venting in the supporters forum. Lots of people would not want to see what the other half is saying - it's difficult enough trying to deal with your day to day, without seeing people saying the things you are secretly afraid the people you love are saying.

Precisely; I've tell my wife when she does this (most of the time anyway, some days I just have to let it go) that it's not okay, and she shouldn't let me think that it is. I need her help in recognizing how my disorder is affecting her, and if she dismisses something that is not okay, I cannot work to correct it.

It's a bit of a catch 22. "Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to". I don't always WANT to hear things; doesn't mean I don't NEED to here them in order to improve my recovery and our relationship. I HAVE to know how it affects other people, but most people are too leery to say things because they know how sensitive the subject is, which I understand.

 

[LoyalOne]

Hey, wc - sometimes you can take some truth, sometimes you are too fragile to take some truth. That applies to everyone to some degree, if it makes you feel any better.