How's Your Day Been? Each Day is Different, So Make Your Mark Daily

[YoungAndAngry]

Wildfire,

is there any particular reason that this neighbour (dealer) is threatening your life??

 

[piglet]

Hi people! Can't believe how much there is to catch up on while I've been away. Holiday was good. It wasn't a holiday from ptsd - don't know why I thought things might be different?!), but I still managed to get out and do the things I wanted to.

It's going to take a while to catch up on how everyone is doing, but I just thought I'd say hi.

 

[YoungAndAngry]

Hi Piglet!
Welcome back!!!

 

[anthony]

Great to have you back piglet... and I am glad you got out and about and enjoyed your holiday the best you could... great stuff. I am sure your next one will involve less PTSD, more enjoyment...

 

[wildfirewildone]

Wildfire,

is there any particular reason that this neighbour (dealer) is threatening your life??

Probably he sees me as a threat to his "doing his own thing" He probably doesn't like for me to call the cops whenever I smell the drugs in the hallway.....and he doesn't like me to tell him to close his apt door to cut out the noise coming from it which includes loud music..TV..friends carrying on..grandkids hollering and their excursions into the hallway yelling..and being a dealer he doesn't want me to discourage his "trade"....plus he thinks he doesn't have to be concerned about other neighbors' needs for quiet and and safety...plus when he's "high" the drugs cause him to be even more belligerent and then he just doesn't give a damn who he hurts so being threatening is okay by him...That's what really scares me...that he'll take his threat to the next step and actually physically harm me!!!!
.....wildfirewildone....PEACE

 

[Nam]

Wow, does my back hurt. but I'm so close! Even though I'm complaining about pain, this is actually a lot of fun. I don't think I've been this content in a while. Boredom makes me (what's the right word?) not well, I guess (oops, two words). Well, these next two weeks are far from boredom! There's a certain amount of satisfaction when I have control over my environment. I can make it look and function better. I really like that about home remodeling. My hub likes it too...looking at it that is, he doesn't really like doing it!

 

[Deleted member 93]

I was able to make a grocery list for my husband this weekend. Still hard to get me out. But I could actually think clearly enough to make a menu for all the meals and snacks this week and compile a list with out confusion.

I was able to cook though it wasn't like I used to do, from scratch. But it isn't a frozen pizza. More pastas and fancy sandwiches type of things. It is improvement any way.

Confusion kicked in when I told my husband I wanted to tell him about my incident this afternoon. I tried to put the pasta up but kept going from the kitchen to the table knowing what what I was supposed to be doing but felt like my brain was misfiring, I guess from anticipation and fear of telling him. As he tried to ready the baby for bed he finally said you are getting a container... So it was obvious I was not functioning.

I guess he fell asleep with the baby since all is quite up there now and not sure if I want to drop this load on him after he fell asleep. Today he worked 12 hours, mowed the rest of the lawn since it was not finished yesterday(at least an acre front lawn) and spent an hour shopping after work trying to find the rest of the kids school supplies and gym clothes for my teenage daughter. I almost fainted, she said thank you. To top it off my A/C fried again and in Texas heat night time really doesn't bring relief, I don't want to make his day harder than it already was.

 

[anthony]

I think you made a smart move veiled, and I think your husband probably has had enough for one day after all that. If your so tense and nervous, fearful even of telling him things, wait a few days until you are also a little better from your last session, and talk with him then, when you are both more relaxed and have more time to talk without interruption. Your next session aftermath will be similar, if not sometime worse than what you are suffering now... but they get better and better as you go through them.

Veiled, I just want to say... CONGRATULATIONS for do such a good job with yourself and getting into trauma therapy. It is a huge move for anyone to take with fear of their past... you have stepped past that fear just to get into trauma therapy... well done, and honestly, you are doing great and your after affects are normal. Keep up the great work, and soon you will find yourself lighter than ever, sleeping better, no nightmares, no flashbacks, nothing at all in actual fact to be fearful from... great work.

 

[YoungAndAngry]

Wildfire,

Probably he sees me as a threat to his "doing his own thing" He probably doesn't like for me to call the cops whenever I smell the drugs in the hallway.....

I think you are absolutly right.
You have become a threat to him by calling the cops.

I agree that you have the right to a safe living environment...
but honestly, is it worth it?
I think it would have been easier to just in an "annonymous" complaint or send a letter to the building management/police. Then just start trying to get out of there!

By not making yourself a direct threat to him,
He probally wouldn't be creeping outside your door (which is scary!)

You probally don't agree with what I've said,
and I do understand why you would call the police...
but to me... sometimes just avoided uneeded conflict is healthier.
Especially if you live alone!


Just woke up an hour or so ago...
just been in a daze for the last couple of days.
Doc appointment later today,

 

[wildfirewildone]

Wildfire,



I agree that you have the right to a safe living environment...
but honestly, is it worth it?
I think it would have been easier to just in an "annonymous" complaint or send a letter to the building management/police. Then just start trying to get out of there!
:frown: I can't give an anonymous complaint with management or it won't be taken seriously....as for police dept. that seems the way it goes....the police need more than one complaint to build a case....and if the housing authority is going to let me move I have to shoe how detrimental the environment around here is....plus then I need drs to run interfearance for me....so I need to be in a very desperate situation and in failing health in order to have any possibility of being allowed to transfer to a safer place...I put up with all this drug stuff a long time but got no considerations from the druggie...I had to say something because no one else would....also the fumes from the drugs affect my asthma and at one point my cat's breathing.....anyway it's too late to change what I've done to remedy these problems....thanks for caring!!!!


Just woke up an hour or so ago...
just been in a daze for the last couple of days.
Doc appointment later today,

I hope that you had a successfull meeting with the Doc....I know all about being in a daze...I keep having boiuts of that with all the stressers in my life....I didn't take my meds last night [not a good idea!!] and ended staying up all night....since I was up real early this morning...I decided to go to the 8:00 mass.....when I got back in my van I grabbed my purple horse [Valient] and started crying and sobbing....I've been burying so many of my feelings about what's been going on in my life....so I guess I just guess my feelings exploded....The hardest thing for me has been the loss of the relationship with my cousin [I married into the family and even though I got a divorce they kept me!!] just because my sicko sister harrassed her by phone and used my name....I feel like she's dead to me...can't have a funeral...she still lives on the planet....I have no idea what her grown kids think....I fear that I will be an outcast to my "true family"....I've been working on developing relationships with other cousins...don't know now how I stand with them....I feel this loss really deeply....kind of feel I'm just a drifter now....I'm still working on getting ahold of the Police Lt. ....:frown: PEACE....wildfirewildone:wall:

 

[purdyamos]

My goodness it's certainly been eventful since I was last online! I don't know what to say, I've got no answers, except I'm thinking of you all strung around the globe with the damn soap opera plots that you just can't switch over from. My life's been calm again, except when I went swimming there werte loads of kids and I ended up sobbing openly as I swam my lengths. Will I ever be able to face families and kids without having a nervous breakdown, goddammit! I was embarrassed and nearly drowned as I choked along, but I did a mile.

I hope resolutions come soon to those who are in torment with family strife and neighbours from hell.

 

[Deleted member 93]

Today... Hubby sprained his ankle. Probably tore some tendons pretty well. He heard a lot of popping from his ankle when he went down. So now he gets to have the same thing said to him that he tells the kids, "just watch where you are going". Very swollen and doc says it will be a nice black and blue tomorrow, but at least not broken. He will be off for at least one week minimum since he has to be up and about during work and then be rechecked to see if he can go back. No pain killer though, my doc is pill happy! I guess since doc knows I have major phobias with pain killers I have a lot untouched in the cabinet. He kept giving me the scripts and Hubby always had them filled. But both knew I would suffer before touching them. Told them pain is the bodies way of saying don't do that! If I don't feel it I will just wind up hurting myself worse!

Doc was the one who sent me to the shrink and therapist to figure out what was wrong with me when he could not control symptoms I was having. So it was like a two in one deal as he was really wanting to know what was going on with me also since I had not needed to go back for anything with him. I did not see any changes but he said my attitude was different, and told my husband watch out she is starting to act like a woman jokingly. He said he saw a lot of positive changes even if I don't just by how I acted.

My husband and I never spend any time together as he works so much and the 4 kids, seems the only time we have is a weekly car ride to the therapist and that is still with 4 kids. Now we have TONS of time since school is in session again. This may be good as we can talk, he was quite a nosey thing about my thoughts throughout the day, he did not like some of them but was intrigued. He has nothing better to do except watch me grasp, struggle, try to cope, and see me fighting to contain myself. I really do think he was enlightened today just observing.

He got to enjoy watching what I do during the day and thought it was hilarious to the point of tears watching me vacumm and I had a rebel 2 & 1/2 year old who decided she needed to be naked and got out the toy vacumm following me around in the nude doing chores... Why are some toddlers just so, what word am I grasping for? Stubborn? Need to feel the freedom of bare buttness and cannot keep clothes on them??? My youngest son, soon as he hits the door from school britches come off and runs around in his underwear, he was a mini nudist as a toddler too. I cannot keep anyone clothed!

He did say to me he sees why I try to sneak outside by myself, he said there wasn't a moment she was not right on my tail and when school was out it is chaos.

I will get to drive myself to the therapist for the first time ever Thursday. Kind of nervous, long drive during rush hour but he cannot drive me and I cannot miss a session. Maybe being forced to do it on my own will help, or crash and burn. Guess I won't know until I try.

Having a "5th kid" helpless in the home today has worn me out, hope I can get some good :sleep: The baby ended up in bed with me last night and spent all night kicking me in the back and my cat doing her "happy feet" clawing me every time I started to doze off.