Beyond Night Terrors (graphic)

[J'aime]

I have done a lot of research on night terrors, ever since my psychiatrist classified them as night terrors. A lot of what I read doesn't make sense...the descriptions of the dreams the websites refer to are often dreams of spiders in someone's bed, snakes, etc. Mine are much more graphic and violent.

My most recent one was, I was with 4 other men in what seemed to be a sandy tomb. Everyone had weapons, and in my dream, I knew there was a force of evil there. I couldn't see it, but zi could sense it. Eventualky, we ended uo in a dark, steel stairwell. It was square shaped, and everything was rusted out. I could hear something whispering to me not to go up the stairs, but whatever was whispering to me was undoubtedly evil. So, not trusting the voice, me and the 4 men ascended the stairwell. Upon reaching the top, there was a doorway leading outside

The four men I was with exited outdoors, but as I was about to step through the door, I heard a horse whinnying at the bottom of the stairwell. The horse sounded very distressed, and so I descended the stairwell to see what was going on.

Trapped at the bottom of the stairwell was a brown horse, covered in blood. He was entwngled in barbed wire. The barbed wire wrapped around him many times, and dragged behind him. Attached to the other end of the barbed wire was a corpse of a man I did not recognize. He had been tied by barbed wire to the horse. The horse was panicked and was stomping wildly, trying to break free. As he was stepping around frantically, he was stomping on the man's corpse, tearing it to pieces. I could hear the man's bones crunching, and I could hear the barbed wire ripping st both their flesh.

I was extremely frightened, and ran up the stairwell. I could hear something demonic laughing at me, and telling me I'll never escape. Once I reached the door at the top of the stairwell, I exited, only to see my daughter standing there, sobbing. I picked her up, just as the horse entangled in barbed wire came racing out the door after us. He ran past us, draghing the corpse behind him. I covered my daughter's eyes, but she had already seen it and was hysterical. It was then that zi woke up, trying to scream, but couldn't.

 

[olaja]

I made a dream journal of all my nightmares and dreams over the past 10 years. I recently looked through them, and the dreams were very good indicators of what I was working on subconsciously at the time.

It's very tough, going through what you are going through. I suggest a teddy bear or a special blanket or pillow to hold on to when you wake up from one of these.

I read another post of yours desribing the violence you have recently lived through. It makes a lot of sense to me that you would be having dreams like this to help you work through your recent past.

Warm wishes for a peaceful night sleep, when you can.

 

[Ted Moen]

So, could be you have a fear that you won't be able to protect your daughter from stuff. Night terrors wrap seemingly unrelated details around a central fear and twist and twist until you wake up about to scream or lash out. I helplessly watched a person being incinerated alive and equate the feeling to the silent scream I imagined him to be expressing as the white blue flames turned him to a pile of ash.

I think night terrors have something to do with the feeling of helplessness. Might be something to discuss with your T.

Ted

 

[J'aime]

Thank you very much for the insight, olaja. :) I think a lot of my night terrors stem from me feeling'protective of her. Her father was my abuser, and we are hidden 1,200 miles away fom him, but the constant fear of him finding us is an everyday fear of mine. I pray a lot for my night terrors to subside, and I hope in time they do.

And Ted, yiu are correct as well...a lot of my night terrors correlate with situations way out of control, like wars, greusome violence, apocolyptic visions, etc. I definitely think a feeling of helplessness is a catalyst for a lot of these dreams. Thanks, both of you! HUGS

 

[olaja]

J'aime - I can understand why you are afraid for your physical safety, and I am so sad that you have been through hell. I hope you have support from an organization to help you stay hidden? A few precautions I take is to avoid info on the internet, and I keep my phone unlisted and my address hidden. The Secretary of State in every state in the USA has resources to help victims of violence to stay hidden and safe. Also, keep a charged cell phone and $20 on your body at all times. At all times, I had an emergency bag packed with essentials. I could grab it and run and be ok for a few days.

You mentioned that you pray to overcome the night terrors. For me, I prayed for physical safety and to remain hidden. It took me about four years to feel ok.

My story is different from yours, but I wanted to post the resources I discovered in the worst of it.

Wishing you safety in large quantities!
olaja

 

[J'aime]

Well, thank you! I really appreciate the advice and information! I will moet definitely look into the Security of State! That would help me tremendously...I can't obtain a protective order against Justin, because due to the fact that he has no way of contacting me,the courts would view it as an unreasonable request. Which is a sad aspect of our judicial system.

I will be praying for your safety, mental well-being, and happiness! xoxo

 

[freakofnurture]

but whatever was whispering to me was undoubtedly evil.

That reminded me of a dream I once had. In it, Absolute Evil came to me in the form of a cute blonde girl. I bit her hand off O.o

I got some of my returning nightmares under control by figuring out, what exactly it was about them that scared me so much (I don't know how it is that it worked, but it did); others I disarmed, kind of, by imagining a happy ending for them (for example: you stop the horse, cut it free from the wire, take it to a vet, see it heal), they felt less distressing after that. Nothing works for dreams that explicitly adress my trauma, though.

I hope you manage to overcome this. It's so horrible when you can't even be at peace while you sleep.

 

[Gamereign555]

There's nothing worse than waking up paralyzed, unable to tell if you are still dreaming and sure that whatever you were just assaulted by is behind you.

 

[J'aime]

Oh my gosh, freakofnature, I have also injured evil children in my night terrors! haha It sounds terrible, but in our dresms, it makes perfect sense, doesn't it. I decapitated a little girl in one of my n.t.'s... she was evil, and I just knew she was from something instinctual in my head during the dream. When I confronted her on it, she morphed and transformed into a demon girl. She still resembled a little girl to a degree, but her face was pale, her eyes turned black, and she tried to attack me. I ended up beating her skull to pieces with a rock, then decapitated her by ripping her head off. It was greusome, but when I woke uo from it, I was actually less disturbed than my other dreams beause in this particular night terror, I was able to win. Odd...

 

[freakofnurture]

I ended up beating her skull to pieces with a rock, then decapitated her by ripping her head off.

Hahaha, that's bada*s, J'aime! :D Keep thinking of that dream, maybe it will influence the ones to come, so that you can end up winning some more. J'aime Skullbasher, yo!

 

[J'aime]

Hahaha oh my gosh, thank you for that early morning laugh! :D

 

[Lucille]

I just wish I could remember what happens in my dreams so then I could make some sense of why I wake up all the time with my heart racing 90 miles per hour! It's frustrating not to know what's going on in my mind when I'm asleep :eek: