I'm Actually Dating!

[soulofLC]

I am sorry, ScaredOfLonely. I am afraid of dating, of not being date ready; I am also on SSI. But lonely too. I think a pet would help and be less stressful than dating!

 

[lil_fighter]

A pet is a great idea :) especially a dog, if you like dogs and you can always rely them, they love you for who you are and they are with you through thick and thin.

Had a dog for 15 years, then I got a bengal kitten thinking it woud be therapeutic lol...it drove me crazy climbing up the curtains and up on to the fridge, I had to watch him 24/7 and I was allergic so..anyway, he was rehomed with some die-hard cat lovers and he's very happy and big these days from what they tell me :rolleyes:

But definitely thinking of getting a dog again, soulofLC and ScaredOfLonely a pet is a great idea. Dating can be put on ice, it doesn't need to be abandoned completely, but there are many other things in life that will give you lots of pleasure. Take care of yourselves and be your own best friend, dating is definitely not something Im thinking about and wont be for a while..once bitten and all that. But hey, time is a healer right?

 

[soulofLC]

Time--I hope so lil_fighter. I was happy for many years alone with my pets and my work. Not the least bit interested in dating. Would love to be in that place again!

Yes, a dog would be lovely. I live in good spot to walk it and would get my out of house. Just have to get some money to take care of me and the dog! Working on getting more financially stable.

Yes, I have to be my own best friend. And there are so many things out there to amuse me or that I have to give if I just get out. A man hit on me in the grocery last week, gave me his phone #, which has never happened to me. But all I can think about it is that I won't attract healthy people right now. Sad, but true.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

You guys are right. I should just take it slow. I have a black lab and she's great at comforting me when I'm anxious. Then, when I'm ready, I can take her to the dog park and use her to pick up a few guys, lol. I thought about it and realize that I need to work on myself a bit more. I'll foster the relationships I have without the pressure of them going somewhere. It's just so daunting, ESP since I'm not getting any younger!

 

[g6khk0]

Hang in there SOL. There is always hope. I realize it's not as simple as it sounds but as Jane Seymour says "Keep your heart open and love will find it's way in". Her book called Open Hearts is really inspirational and gives everyone hope and is a good read.

I am currently on hold with my GF? as she is isolating at the moment. I gave her this book for her B'day last month and she loved it and has shared it with others so I know it gave her hope and comfort. It's daunting enough without being ill so just know you're not alone.

Patience is a virtue we all need more of.

 

[Belle]

I think "Patience is a virtue we all need more of" is very true.

I am on hold with my BF as I don't think he gets it (PTSD) and I don't want to keep trying to explain.

But I think in the meantime pets and friends are a good way to feel a bit more 'normal'. I have gone on walks with a friend with a dog and it helps me to feel less isolated.

I also have 2 beautiful cats.

 

[g6khk0]

Long walks are good for your health, soul, and mind. I go for at least a 5 mile walk everyday with my dog and ipod.

I kind of like the isolation on my walks as it helps me to think so I can fully understand a sufferer needing some isolation time. It's just that I do it for an hour or so for my walk and then it's over with and back to reality.

It does seem to be a common denominator for sufferers to "need a break" in a newer relationship that seems like it might get serious. I know that it pushes a sufferers cup over the top but wonder why they can't purge other stressors out instead of a relationship?

 

[soulofLC]

g6khk0, I am reminded by your post of the words of a former therapist. He said that even good events can be stressful, ie a new relationship, a good job, etc. It sucks, but I find it rings true.

 

[g6khk0]

After reading Anthony's document over and over I am really understanding how it is so easy for a sufferers cup to run over.

I just wish that there was a way to put the negative stressors on hold and not the positive. PTSD seems like such a demon that feeds on evil and destroys good.

 

[soulofLC]

Agreed. How to push out the negative and let in the positive. I think healing has to take place, and I can't say for myself what that will look like, except I know if I keep acting the way I have in relationships, I will keep getting more of the same negative stress. A vicious cycle that has to be broken indeed.

 

[g6khk0]

Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behaviors. Keep your behaviors positive because your behaviors become your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny. ~ Gandhi

I have this quote on my mirror and refrigerator so that it's a daily reminder for me to stay positive and positive things will happen. Hope it helps.

 

[lil_fighter]

g6kh0, I love it..it's brightened my day and is so true


good old Gandhi knew what he was talking about :)