Is It Time For Me To Go?

[Tinyflame]

Thank you Melody, xox
A dear friend here reminded me today if I hadn't found a candle (and a book) outside years ago I would never have been here (found the forum), nor likely be 'here'. So what a Blessing, xox

 

[Mina]

I think it would be easier to let it soak in if I thought the other person benefitted from it.

Well, if nothing else, you're a good listener, you care, and you give good advice. All those benefit the other person.

By the way, I met my husband on match.com...and my ad contained a list of what I wanted and didn't want in a partner. We may have our issues, but he actually met those criteria :O_o:

 

[melody]

You're welcome Junebug and it most definitely is a blessing. :)

I wanted to say so much more to you and everyone else that responded to this thread, but I choked... But now that you've responded, I will also say this thread made me cry (happy tears) because I feel so much at home (here) because of people like you. Reading it made me so aware of how much we sufferers are alike. We seem to worry about everyone else before ourselves, especially if we've said or done something to bring someone else down or hurt their feelings. Almost everyone that responded said the same thing about you and everyone else on this site. You know? How kind and considerate we all are, or try to be. Not that I'm tooting my own horn here, but I'm starting to believe that maybe it's not me that's bad, or deserves the hand I've been dealt.

Did anyone else get the same feeling? Because it's made me take another look at myself and the kind things my friends say about me and think "Maybe there's some truth to it."

So... Thank you Junebug for starting this thread and everyone else for responding to it. You guys made me have an "aha" moment and my life just became so much brighter!

 

[Tinyflame]

Hee Mina- good for you guys :) :) He is One Lucky Guy :)

I hope so Mina, it's hard to think of it, like one extreme to another. 'Worth' is a 'weird' thing when you don't feel like you have it, not quite sure how it's 'given'- because we're 'here' they say, but yikes- difficult to figure out.
I sometimes wonder if it's because of violence or betrayals that ran deep, not that they weren't forgiven but if you know the person who did it is still a 'good' person, maybe that makes one internalize it, Idk?

Or, I wonder if it's that feeling of 'terror'/ 'horror'- maybe we react to it- maybe it's the adrenaline? Because I know they always say 'anxiety' and 'stress', and that's true, but I find the former the worst.
And I know it can't be just 'me', because I've always not responded with any reaction during terrifying times- it's after-the-fact that the feeling is there, usually. Well, even if it's there it gets 'swallowed', if that makes any sense?
Anyway, I will try! -xox

Melody, exactly, yes! Are the people here (yourself included :) ) not incredibly kind and amazing or what!
I'm starting to think, if there was a whole room of 'us'- we'd be a Pretty Great Group :)
(Though we'd probably all need chairs with our backs to the wall, lol :) )

 

[melody]

I'm starting to think, if there was a whole room of 'us'- we'd be a Pretty Great Group :)

I feel the same way Junebug!

(Though we'd probably all need chairs with our backs to the wall, lol :) )

LMAO! It's statements like this one that make me feel soooo at home here. :D

 

[Eleanor]

I am the one in our house without the PTSD - but I still prefer to sit with my back against the wall....:ninja: Hmmm. One too many games of "assassin" in High School I guess - old habits die hard "A gunfighter always sits with her back against the wall...":D

Good, bad... its hard to tell. I have started to wonder, a bit, if some people get PTSD precisely because what happens to them is so WRONG. Not just painful - but if a huge part of the unprocessed trauma isn't a sense of moral/existential wrongness... Maybe not, and the group here is clearly the cream of the crop:cool: - still...

 

[Tinyflame]

Hee, Eleanor you are sweet- :)

Gee, Idk, I think much is just trying to ignore it, or downplay it, and some part just can't. Then one feels 'incompetent' at what they've tried to minimize, seems you feel you've failed twice.

On a lighter note, I now know why I won every game of Air hockey, dodgeball etc, lol Or why I can hear a clock tick 2 floors away, eiy.

 

[melody]

Good, bad... its hard to tell. I have started to wonder, a bit, if some people get PTSD precisely because what happens to them is so WRONG. Not just painful - but if a huge part of the unprocessed trauma isn't a sense of moral/existential wrongness... Maybe not, and the group here is clearly the cream of the crop:cool: - still...

It's funny Eleanor, I was thinking this same thing yesterday... Not everyone ends up with PTSD so what makes some of us get it when other people are okay?

From what I've read on here (over the years), we all seem to be quite similiar. We're all very sensitive, trusting, and always seem to put everyone else's feelings before ours... In some cases, we even worry about hurting those that hurt, or have hurt us. Somehow believing we deserve the abuse (or whatever) because we've done something wrong... And... I don't know about anybody else but I trust way too much and I know I could change this, but I believe I should give people the benefit of the doubt and trust them until they prove otherwise. You know, never judge a book by it's cover?

Very interesting Eleanor!

 

[Tinyflame]

I think this came about - at least partially- because I feel disappointed in myself, and I guess I feel God and others likely feel the same (at the very least).
I cannot manage physical pain well, and even it is caused I'm sure from some of the OTC stuff I've used. I need literally 'naps' between normal activities to be able to do them, and my life and requirements aren't conduscive to that.
When I am present (physically) the rest is so draining I can't really be of much use or/ and it's hard to communicate, it's so tiring.

 

[Srain]

(((((((((((((Junebug)))))))))))))

 

[Mrs. T]

(((Junebug)))

 

[Nighthawk]

((((((((((((((Junebug)))))))))))))))))