Supporter Hi, I Am Trying To Learn...

[Learner]

I am a supporter of an individual who has suffered from PTSD for a number of years. We met prior to his time in Iraq and did not reconnect until late 2010. We have lived together for about a year and he decided to move home with his mom after we relocated here in our local area. He had originally been working wtih a vet center counselor and then with a VA hospital. After having thoughts of suicide, the system didn't appear to be working quickly enough for him to be admitted and he decided to go home and try the vet center/hospital closer to his mom's place. As I am sure many have experienced, both the vet center and the va hospital had difficulty transferring the work that had been done here locally and he essentially was advised to start again in his new location. That discouraging news led him to go home to his mom's and sit down. He has been to his physician to get updated prescriptions and he has been doing some sort of study guide and that's it. I have encouraged professional help - and hopefully through the va in light of his particular trauma - but that seems to have fallen by the wayside. He is generally very emotionally distant and I have had a hard time keeping the conversation "light" because I am so frustrated with the situation. I have essentially backed away but I am really sad about all of it. I have read a couple of books that proved to be helpful but the human emotion of it all is hard. I would appreciate any thoughts on the topic. Thank you.

 

[SeekingSerenity]

Hello learner,

Welcome to the forum. Have a look at the literature that is available, most of it linked from the forum home page. Also pop in at the supporters section, you can ask questions, and you will get a lot of good advice from other supporters there. We are all going through the same things... you will find acceptance and understanding, and you will find the answers you need.

If you decide to stay on for your sufferer, be prepared for a tough journey. But in the end it will be worth it.

 

[Eleanor]

Hi learner - Welcome to the forum!:) There is a lot of great information on this site - and on the sister site mycombatptsd.com might be helpful too.

Best wishes for peace and healing for both of you!

 

[Learner]

Have a look at the literature that is available, most of it linked from the forum home page. Also pop in at the supporters section, you can ask questions, and you will get a lot of good advice from other supporters there. .

Thank you for your kind words. I have reviewed the literature and have read three books on the list - all of which have proven to be helpful in different ways. I had no idea how much I didn't know. Is seems as if I would be used to that by now, righit? I am in the mode of just absorbing information and considering things at the moment. I do see the idea that I can control my destiny - just don't know what that will look like just yet but I don't have to decide that today. Thank you again.

 

[Learner]

There is a lot of great information on this site - and on the sister site mycombatptsd.com might be helpful too!

Looking at the sister site you reference is definitely on my list of things to do. I just haven't gotten there yet. Thank you for your support.

 

[JohnJohn]

Hello learner,

I started attending therapy prior to my wife's attendance, since she initially felt like she was a "lost cause." It helped me understand and empower me. My improvement and outlook helped motivate her in that direction also.

Now she is moving along slowly with it and believe me it drives me crazy sometimes, but sufferers tend to progress with therapy slower than supporters. I feel as though their apathy and numbness from that activated survival mechanism we all have, makes things sink in a little slower.

Now the good and bad days will still be there, believe me. But, it helps us feel we are taking a more active role in an otherwise powerless situation. The ones suffering after all have to choose their own direction.

I hope that helps. Take care and good luck.

 

[Learner]

Now she is moving along slowly with it and believe me it drives me crazy sometimes, but sufferers tend to progress with therapy slower than supporters. I feel as though their apathy and numbness from that activated survival mechanism we all have, makes things sink in a little slower.

Actually, John John, your comments did make sense to me. My sufferer talks a good game but is agonizingly slow in moving forward. I feel that as I have somewhat of a better understanding of things as I continue to study but what you said does make sense. At the moment it seems we are not communicating. Though I am generally okay with that and have faith he is doing his best, it is still sucky.

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