I Think I'm Done.

[Innordinate]

Ok. That makes better sense. You're not selfish then in your lack of needing people... more selfless. Gotcha.

Eventually I would like to be well enough to help out an organization here who helps abused children called Little Warriors. I'll probably never get there but that's a very long term goal for me.

 

[NIKI]

Eventually I would like to be well enough to help out an organization here who helps abused children called Little Warriors.

That's your seed of HOPE. Hang on to it.

 

[Innordinate]

I try to, but I know before I can get tehre I have to help myself first. and my kids and my family first. That seems so impossible. I don't think it's a realistic goal. It's not. It's just a stupid dream really.

 

[NIKI]

I understand what you are saying and it is true, you do have to help yourself and family first. But what you said was something you hoped for the future. Meaning that you do have hope of a future. That's what I read.

I also want to volunteer to be a "Big Sister" some day soon. Being of support for a young girl in need of help. Something I wish I had when I was a little girl.

 

[Tinyflame]

Your dream isn't stupid, I think it's noble.

 

[Tinyflame]

Mother Theresa took a woman out of a garbage dump her son had dropped her in. And helped her to forgive him.

Not everyone understands that feeling, whether others have left us feeling like garbage, or we feel that way about ourselves, or both.
Even less people respond by caring for (and about) others. It's very necessary. Especially for children.

 

[Wordgirl]

I think your dream is realistic and that Little Warriors truly need you. They need a person who is understanding, compassionate, and willing to go to bat for them. Sometimes those of us who have hurt the most, make the most difference in the lives of others. Don't get too far ahead of yourself, though. You need to take care of you, first and foremost. And you probably need someone in a healing profession to help you move beyond the point of paralysis. Love to you.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Hi- I think it is good to have dreams. That is our hope in motion. We could all use a healthy big dose of hope.
Sending you warm and healing energy today. Baby steps is about all I can handle right now. It takes alot of courage to get out of bed and start a unstable day and then to manage to get through it. You are to be congratulated. very brave and couragous. Courage is being afraid and yet going forwards anyway. Hugs.

 

[NIKI]

Hi Innordinate, I came on to see how you are doing today. I hope you are having a better day today. :)

Peace to you.

 

[Red Feather]

How many times do I have to be here before I can get better?!!!?!?!

'Cause I am done GOD! I AM f*ckING DONE!!!

Innordinate, we keep on moving on. I'm done at the moment too. But I can't leave this place. Life continues and PTSD keeps on accompanying us. Sometimes I give up, but not on life. I just give up fighting. This is the way things are right now, the more I fight against the reality, the more I want to run away from it.

Hope you can send some nice loving thoughts to yourself. I know it's hard. I don't believe in selflessness. I believe we help others because we like how it makes us feel. It feels good to help others. It also feels good to help ourselves.

 

[Innordinate]

I read this somewhere but I completely forget where. Probably somewhere on here.

There is no cure for living on planet Earth.

So I guess the answer to my own question 'how many times do I have to be here before I can get better' is, indefinite UNTIL I do get better. I have to work on what I can do and not what I can't do.

 

[Red Feather]

There is no cure for living on planet Earth.

I like that.