I found this thread when I looked up "calming down" (I was trying to convince myself to calm down right now and stop festering), and it couldn't have fit the bill more in a very surprising way. I understand the confusion and/or frustrations here and I'm not discrediting anyone, so please (pretty pretty please) don't be offended. Take what I'm about to type as a personal opinion based on my personal experience rather than a guideline or advice for yourself. I don't hold a crystal ball and I don't know your experiences.
So...
Anthony, I'm pretty sure I knew exactly what you touched base on in the OP because I am beyond guilty of it... and it helps now for me to understand that flaw in my fundamental thought process. Let me see if I got this right.
I have complex trauma (I have a set of triggers for each separate trauma.) and I got very used to calling everything a trigger because it's hard to pinpoint what is and what is not, my biggest frustration in therapy was having a Tdoc that tried to address my childhood as a whole, instead of systematically breaking down each traumatic experience and tackling it one trauma at a time. Wow, I just had a total epiphany about my experience with her. In fact, I think her biggest flaw was encouraging me to only ever talk about stressors, allowing me to fester on them and grow them. Anyway, irrelevant now. Onward...
I've also lied to myself several times about triggers to the point that some of those lies are deeply ingrained in my ego. For example(and I will try to spare many details), during one of the times I was raped I was I was cut with scissors. Scissors -used to- trigger me as a child You have to use scissors a lot over the course of your life, and I'm an artist. So I got over THAT trigger. But, there were times when I would catch myself stressed out over something I was festering on, and because I would have a pair of scissors in my hand, I would get pissed off, take out my anger on those around me, and blame it on the scissors. In reality, I was stressed out, I didn't know how to ask for help, and it was convenient for me to blame it on something else so I could eject my hurt and frustration onto someone else and walk away unscathed.
Based on your post, I think I can pinpoint and differentiate whether I'm bullshitting myself or I am reacting. Whenever I get a rush of adrenaline and anger! Wow...that blows my mind.
Quickly though...One thing I've noticed is that if my husband for example touched my arm a certain way, and let's say that I was touched the same way during my trauma, when I slap his hand away before I even think about it, that's a trigger (in your OP's words, a trigger)? And then afterwards, if I get panicky, it's because I'm stressed out that I just got triggered? I think (and I don't know, words online get confusing and miscommunicated) many people are confusing the two because often they can happen so simultaneously that it's easy to correlate the two. The ego is very powerful in protecting a hurting soul.
Lots of love
P.S. I wish I would have read more posts before I started making threads on this site, there's so much valuable information I never took into consideration...