Relationship Dating A Man With Ptsd... And I'm The Trigger. What Do I Do?

[1hopefulmilso]

Is this a joke?
You want your relationship to work, but yet have never meet? You say you are in touch with his sister and family, which is great, but not until you have spent enough person to person time, how do you know it's real? If you can't handle it now via online, in person all the ugliness of ptsd is 100x worst. Honestly, you have no relationship, just living a fantasy in which in the end the only one hurt is going to be you! Look deep within and figure out what you are missing from your life that makes you want to cling onto something that isn't real. A broken person cannot heal/support another broken person. If you are causing him pain, why continue? Gf, do a little soul searching because you sound a little lost.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I happen to agree with @darrenS

Funny, we were chatting about this very topic just last night... The thing is that you don't really know this guy. Until you've met face to face, it isn't FULLY real in that there are so many aspects of one another that you simply do not know. I understand that you care about him, but I think you're in love with the construct you've created in your mind rather than the full fleshed person.

Ok, so lets go with the idea that you are in it for the long run. My question for you is why are you settling for so little? This guy is not in a place where he can be in a relationship. If he can't meet you, he is NOT ready for a relationship. He needs to be in treatment and focusing on himself.

(And technically you're not really "dating"....) I guess anyone can say they are in a "relationship" but again, you're sort of missing out on....the entire relationship bit. I don't see how this is anything more than a friendship in which there are romantic interests and neither party is seeing anyone else. How can you commit to someone you've never met? How do you know there is a spark? (True sparks don't come until you've met.)

Supporting on the phone is like a million times easier than supporting someone in person. (No exaggeration here.)

 

[Sweetpea76]

If you really are a trigger for him, then he will not be able to be around you until he progresses enough in his treatment to where he can deal with his triggers. You can't do anything to help this. It's going to take a lot of work on his part. You may have to be online-only friends/relationship for a long long time.