Desire For Death

[surviving_it_all]

For the first time since I was 15, I just want to die. I want it to end. I am too weak to think to suicide. I couldn't do it. It would be selfish to those who love me, but I'm tired of fighting. I would prefer death at this moment.

 

[NIKI]

Sorry you are feeling so down. Are you on any antidepressents because one side effect can be suicidal thoughts. This happened to me. After I stopped taking it I never think of that anymore.

Wishing you peace of mind.

 

[goingonhope]

I just want to die. I want it to end. I am too weak to think to suicide. I couldn't do it. It would be selfish to those who love me, but I'm tired of fighting. I would prefer death at this moment.

Surviving it all, I too feel the same way as you.

 

[Shellbell]

I've had times in my life where death seemed the only option. I understand feeling too weak and in too much pain to carry on.

I hope you can have some moments of peace. I hope you can find the strength to find something good to hold on to.

 

[Philippa]

Have you been listening to any uplifting music that speaks to your soul?

I was feeling so damn miserable all today, adn then found this excellent artist on you tube called Ursula Rucker, and her music speaks to the soul, so much so that I am almost back to feeling totally up and happy again. I just can't stop listening to her. Sound is so healing...try it out.

Hope you feel better soon. I know how it feels, believe me. I've wanted so many times to just fade away and not be here anymore. Good music makes it worth sticking around for a little while longer...to me anyway.

 

[Red Feather]

I wanted to start a similar thread last week. Sometimes I really wish it too. But I guess it is a consolation that it will happen one day, whether we like it or not. My mother would also tell me about her wish to die while I was growing up. I wonder where I got it from...:depressed:. It will pass.

 

[surviving_it_all]

I overcame it. Once I went to see my therapist and psychiatrist, I was able to work through like maybe 30% of the anxiety from the flashbacks that I was experiencing. It was enough relief. I wish the people in my life understood the physical reaction my body endures during anxiety, panic, flashbacks, etc. I want to explain to them that there are times when I am completely back in the trauma. I may be functioning and such the anxiety is hurting my stomach and chest. I can't do much. I feel trapped. I got relief for the first time in like a week or so...that is all I needed was just a little relief from the pain. I feel guilty that I felt so depressed when I posted this. I know that I have so much to live for.

 

[Loner]

I had never in my life seriously considered suicide before, when I was young I thought it would be a nice way to get back at my family and guilt them, but I didn't actually want to die. Then, a couple weeks after I quite smoking pot, all these painful emotions came up, and it just hurt SO BAD that I could hardly even stop thinking about offing myself wherever I went, I just wanted the pain to end, thats it.

Things were really hard those coupe weeks, but that was actually just a step in the right direction to things getting better. If I had just kept smoking pot, I wouldn't of become suicidal, but at the same time, I am also doing much better today than I was when I was still high 24/7.

I'm not sure if the same thing applies to you somehow, but think about it. Maybe youre just going through something difficult and there is a better place on the other side, not just better than now, but better than before you started having these thoughts.

Its good youre feeling better now, but maybe that pain was a message of some sort that youre ready to deal with something.

 

[surviving_it_all]

I hope so.