Undiagnosed Hello

[Tanishq]

Thank you. I will take a look there. I was being too serious. When I read chit chat, I thought it has a chatting room :laugh: and also assumed this forum doesn't have fun corner. My bad. :p

I have a query regarding diary which I will ask in right section, Help Desk.

 

[Joya]

Hi Jaret,

I haven't experienced parental abuse, but I did live in India for a year and went to a psychologist (the only psychologist in my city!) when I started experiencing what I now realize were early trauma symptoms. He wasn't so helpful, although he was very nice. I just wanted to say I can empathize with that, and let you know that while it can seem really isolating when everyone around you doesn't accept this kind of mental suffering as valid, I know that not everyone there is like that. Are you living in a large city or a smaller city/town?

 

[Tanishq]

I just wanted to say I can empathize with that, and let you know that while it can seem really isolating when everyone around you doesn't accept this kind of mental suffering as valid, I know that not everyone there is like that. Are you living in a large city or a smaller city/town?

Hi Joya, thank you. :)

I am living in larger city. I kind of isolate myself where I am not accepted. I see no meaning to talk with them because they are not able to understand what I am going through.

 

[Joya]

That makes complete sense--I do the same thing, no reason to talk to folks who don't understand. Since you're living somewhere larger, there must be some resources. Can you search psychologists or forward-thinking medical practices on the internet to see what's there? Some people might charge less or nothing depending on your need, and if you could find the money for one session you might be able to get some good pointers and resources for your area. What do you think? You've probably thought about these things already.

 

[Tanishq]

Yes, I consulted one hypnotherapist/counselor. She is expensive and she told me they don't tell people to visit them often.

I need some long term therapy. So I can remove negative mindset that was built due to lots of difficulties. it would be much helpful to have someone regularly. I searched for therapist in town, I could not find one.We have psychologist and hypnotherapist. Their charges are high. I can't afford one.

I am afraid what if I push away some people because I am suffering from something very huge.

 

[Joya]

Yeah, pretty much everyone can benefit from some long term therapy, I would say--but if you're suffering from PTSD or anything deeply uprooting, it can be hugely helpful for helping oneself to move on.

Pushing away people... I have lots of conflicting feelings about this. The first kind of pushing away is like this: on the one hand, you gotta get the poisonous influences out of your life. Maybe the person can't handle you with such intensity in your life, maybe they really are just hateful and you never knew it till now, when you struggled so much. But they've gotta go--even if, on the other hand, it makes you sad and lonely. Then there's the question of support. While often having superficial relationships is better than leaving yourself alone to your anxiety, it's not what you NEED and it's not going to help you heal. And if those relationships are making you feel bad, then they're not worth it. Finally, there's the fact of self-isolation around trauma. That happens a lot. It's easier to feel more alone, more depressed, and to push more people away when you're already dealing with so much AND it is true that many you do know don't understand what you're going through. Having some true support--even if it's just one person who will listen closely and who you can talk to anytime--is a huge help, makes it all easier to deal with. Maybe there's some kind of group for that where you're at? I don't know where you're living so I dunno what's out there, probably wouldn't really anyway. But those are my thoughts on the subject...

 

[Tanishq]

Joya thank you for your understanding and thoughts. I appreciate them all.

I have been removing those people who are making me feel bad or don't support at all. I can't get diagnosed, but I have suffered from lots of emotional abuse from parents during childhood, physical beat up by teachers and lots of physical problems. I had worst time those days and I used to be happy,too. But I can't get over those worst things. It has become triggering things to make me feel bad instantly.

You're right and I am looking for that, if there is only one person it will be huge help for me. It's hard to find. I have tried to talk with college professors, but when they tell me some words which I really don't like I begin to remember those all worst days. I don't know how that happens. I am trying to get up on my own.

 

[Tanishq]

Maybe the person can't handle you with such intensity in your life, maybe they really are just hateful and you never knew it till now, when you struggled so much. But they've gotta go--even if, on the other hand, it makes you sad and lonely.

Joya, most people left me for this reason. They couldn't handle me and thought it is so much to give. I don't know what to say about them, I accepted that they want to leave me.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I am sorry you feel so alone and trapped. I know that feeling well and I feel for you. I am very sorry. Please take care of yourself.

Can I ask what part of India you are from? My husband is South Indian, from Hyderabad.

 

[Tanishq]

I am from Western India Gujrat.

Thank you Ayesha.

 

[Joya]

I also feel isolated, but I do have some support. It's a very hard thing to do on your own. I wish I could help you more from where I am!