Injustice Anger

[Meadowsweet]

It seems to be a regular part of accepting or talking about abuse for me.

The pattern is familiar to me: I help myself through the memory, I nurture myself and see the positives that I'm ok now. But then, it's like the tail of the memory is the realisation that I'm in a world full of people who really don't want to know about abuse.

There is a moment that I'm horribly aware, that it happened, nothing can change it, and I'm on my own with that. It's me who has to take the responsibility for it by myself, because somehow others feel it is too horrible or 'negative' for them.

Where are the strong and caring people who want to put the world to rights, as long as they can keep it at arms length.

I get angry. I don't act on the anger, but it gets to me. And I'm horribly aware that the only person my anger is hurting is me.

 

[JustBe]

We are already isolating ourselves and this further isolates us. People feel good about helping others, but our pain forces them to enter the edges of our world and feel uncomfortable. That is the difference. It sucks. Just one more thing PTSD has taken from us.

 

[Privateer]

I don't know how to help with the anger, I'm afraid, but if you ever want to just talk about it, I'm game.

My problem is grief rather than anger, so I should be okay.

 

[ms spock]

Anger is difficult. The acceptance process your wrote about your abuse and acceptance of abuse and anger is familiar to me.

Can you do exercise with your anger? Can you draw your anger?

 

[Meadowsweet]

People feel good about helping others, but our pain forces them to enter the edges of our world and feel uncomfortable.

This seems sadly to be true.

but if you ever want to just talk about it

Thanks Privateer.

Can you do exercise with your anger? Can you draw your anger?

I'm not sure I could draw it, I think I would rip the paper to shreds with the pen and screw it up. But I will try to find something to alleviate the feeling. Thankyou.

 

[Meadowsweet]

Well somehow it has eased. I took the shears to a bush in my garden. I had a long soak in a hot bath and a bit of a cry. And I allowed myself for a short moment to shout out to the universe or whatever, that I'm unhappy.

But I think maybe it's just allowing myself to feel that anger, without feeling guilty for it.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Interesting thread. I have a hard time with the denial in our society which is rampant. I think that blocks the conversation that could be had otherwise. Also there is rationalization, miniminizing, and ignorance.


I think it is that when trauma affects a person it changes their whole life and and a identy crises ensues.

People go through life with blinders on and are emotionally numb. Some are positive only people who do not want to dwell on anything negative. So I think the only ones you can have the conversation with is a fellow sufferer. One who has been there and has sensitivity. It is very hard to talk to so called normal people. Unless you have been through it you cannot understand.

Top that with people that have hidden agendas for others. Beware them. I do not know if this speaks to the topic or not but this is what it made me think of. Just my two cents. Toss in the trash if it does not work.

 

[Shellbell]

I agree Gizmo, I'm at the point where I can only talk with a friend who is a fellow sufferer, as most other people just want to diminish, ignore, not listen about real suffering and trauma.

It has become very apparent to me recently how unless someone been through a particular trauma, they cannot understand it, or how badly it can affect someone's whole life.

 

[Meadowsweet]

Some are positive only people who do not want to dwell on anything negative.

I sat in a chat-room of these people last night. It was a challenge! In one breath they talk about love and light (their own ofcourse) and in the next, they are talking about how you have to get rid of negative people because they bring you down.

In other words, they take no ownership of their negative emotions. Instead they blame others for 'making' them feel that and this apparently justifies dumping on other people. Such is the spiritual mind of the good and the righteous :mad:.

People go through life with blinders on and are emotionally numb.

This is my mum.

 

[ms spock]

It was good you were able to sit with your anger Meadowsweet. It was helpfult that you could articulate your feelings around your anger as well. This seems to have helped you but also other people.

 

[mamachick]

Great topic-others do not understand ptsd at all in my world. Six months after my trauma, I was still trying to connect with non trauma friends. Feeling so misunderstood almost did me in. I went to a friensds wedding in Jamaica. I felt unwanted and wanted to isolate. Nobody did that to me. I was feeling damaged and self critical. I feel dead alot on the inside. I am not the person or friend that I was. I rarely laugh. I have no interest in the things I did in the past. I could not connect with the light hearted freedom that I observed in others. Every attempt I have made since to reconnect-I have failed or cancelled. I have huge difficulty in even attempting. Isolation is my only answer. Im just waiting to die. Days seem long.

People do not want to pollute their brains, good people who want to do good, just do not know what to say or how to react. For the most part, nobody wants to care or help as they have no idea. We are all people. When I was healthy, I know I was there for others, now I feel like I have a scarlet letter on my head-most dont notice.

 

[Meadowsweet]

I could not connect with the light hearted freedom that I observed in others.

I know that feeling.

People do not want to pollute their brains, good people who want to do good, just do not know what to say or how to react.

i feel that perhaps being a good person, or being there to support others is about accepting when you don't know what to do, and learning.

If people don't want to do that, it is ofcourse their choice and maybe they have too much going on to be able to.

But, I think too many times, people are just not willing to stop and help a friend.

Im just waiting to die.

Please don't do that. You're one of the people in this world who does understand, and does help.