Anger

[BlackbirdSinging]

I'm newly diagnosed but, I've had PTSD for years and years and didn't know that's what I was dealing with. And now that I started therapy for it.. I think I'm finding my anger. Amidst the irritability that is. I don't want to snap at everyone all the time. So, I'm curious.. how do you deal with your anger or irritability? I guess I'm ok with being cranky but, angry over "little things" and wanting to snap at people.. I don't want to do that. Especially, when half the time the things I'm getting angry about are my own incorrect observations. It's a liiiiiittle maddening.

 

[faraway]

My anger was the reason I first sought therapy. I thought I could solve my own problems for years, but all that happened was that I went from a very low, permanently suicidal state to a hyper-vigilant one where I got more and more uptight by pretending that I no longer felt the things that overwhelm me. I've almost entirely isolated myself by moving to a rural part of another country where I know no-one so that I don't have to deal with people as I can't handle human contact any more. But... I'm not rich, so I have to work. After the umpteenth blazing row with my boss, I kind of accepted defeat: I can't heal myself, so I found a therapist. 8 weeks in and i'm still on edge, but significantly less so than I was.

So... how do I deal with my anger? Not very well. I find it hard to control, so I continue to practice avoidance as much as I can. However, I think that as we work through the trauma, I'll come back down to a level ground in my 'window of tolerance' and eventually the anger will subside. The anger is, after all, almost always to do with something in the past. once I process that, I believe they anger will leave.

 

[Shellbell]

I think allowing the feelings of anger is a necessary part of healing from trauma, it's how to safely and appropritately express that anger that is the difficult part.

Therapy is the best choice for dealing with all emotions. If therapy is not an option then there will be people here who will have advice for you.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I started therapy because anger was exploding out of me and I did not like that having little kids. It has been a long journey me and my anger. I have not exploded at anyone in years.

I took a anger management class and learned about all the different types of anger. Gossip is anger expressed with out having to take responsibility for it. There is passive aggressive anger. There is rage. There is violence. There is so many different kinds of anger.

Mine was the kind that would explode out of me. I have learned to manage my anger and learn how to express it in different ways. I do not feel guilty or ashamed because I am exploding on people anymore. I hope this helps. I wish you the best on dealing with yours.

It will take time. Be patient with yourself it will not go away overnight. It will take as long as it takes. Therapy is really helpful in dealing with it.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

Thank you everyone for all of your input. I'm just starting therapy and the two things I want to address pretty quickly are the anxiety and the anger. I feel anxious more often than I feel angry. But, as I'm processing my diagnosis.. I'm becoming more and more aware of my feelings and just how on edge and irritable I can be.

When I get angry I want to slam doors and yell. I think of paragraphs of sarcastic things I want to say to whoever triggered me. But, I end up choking it down. And sometimes I end up feeling like I'm just going to explode. I get angry at being angry. Angry at what I now know are emotional flashbacks. I get angry at the traumas. And angry at the people who inflicted them. Listing this stuff is making me angry. I get angry that the people around me don't and can't understand what it's like in my head all day long. I know it's not their fault. I know anger is a necessary and natural emotion but, I want to deal with it appropriately before I end up telling off someone I care about by saying something I don't mean.

 

[MissMacD]

My anger bubbled to the top the past few months and it is really scary because when I get raging angry I feel like I no longer have control over my emotions or actions. I feel like a raging scary monster who grows to twelve feet tall. I think it's a side effect from holding in trauma all these years - its the result of a mix of emotions of things that were out of control and results I haven't been able to get in my life because I feel like my PTSD has held me back from my potential.

I start therapy on Monday and have taken the liberty to find healthier ways to outlet my anger. Jogging works well for me, I also bought a punching bag that I can take my anger out on if I feel like I am going to bubble over. The punching bag came after I got so angry and yelled at my dog after he chewed something of mine and scared him so badly that he peed himself - bless his heart. That was the point I knew I needed to find a better way to channel it. I love my dogs and refuse have them cower at me feet like I did to my father all those years when he looked twelve feet tall angry.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I suffered from out of control anger for years. It was worse when i was drinking and so I quit drinking. I raged on one person I was trying to make a complaint about and ended up looking like the bad guy. That was the last time I lost control of myself. I took an anger management class and learned about the different forms of anger.

It sounds like you are doing some proactive things to channel your anger and I say good for you.

 

[faraway]

I think of paragraphs of sarcastic things I want to say to whoever triggered me.

Ditto to so much of what you say up there, but especially this. It drives me insane the way I can't switch off the ceaseless perfection of the most cutting thing I can think of to say to a person. :(

 

[Deleted member 12723]

You are lucky that you can think of things to say. I think this is healthy anger. It needs to be expressed one way or another. I used to be able to do that. Now I just get my feelings hurt. I envy you your anger. I think it is a natual response to the nonsense. I want to learn to laugh it away. I think that would be very creative.

 

[faraway]

We've gone in reverse, gizmo. I used to just get my feelings hurt a lot, now I get too angry and have a vicious tongue. Hopefully this therapy will bring me to a happy medium.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

I also bought a punching bag that I can take my anger out on if I feel like I am going to bubble over.

I love this idea!

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

I took an anger management class and learned about the different forms of anger.

I thought about doing this once. I was getting so angry and going on screaming fits ..while I didn't realize that I had PTSD at the time.. I really thought my temper was getting out of hand. Now it makes more sense. Too often now I choke on my anger and try not to show too much of it because, I don't want to hurt feelings and start drama. But, it's really hard! I get so frustrated I want to scream sometimes.