Hello all,
I'm happy to have been told about this community. It seems like a safe place to share stuff that I normally keep secret.
Here goes...
I was emotionally and physically abused by my aunt, and by my stepfather. My stepfather molested me when I was 4. He was my moms new boyfriend and he babysat while she was at work. He didn't touch me again that way, but he married my mom and made my life a living hell, both through the physical and emotional/verbal abuse, and because he was a pervert and I always felt violated without him touching me.
Thanks to my stepfathers persuasive powers, I was sent back to the "old country" to live with one of my moms sisters, who would straighten me out, because apparently I was a spoiled, spoon fed, American child who needed to be taught a lesson. She physically and emotionally abused me, and basically allowed an uncle to sexually abuse me repeatedly during the course of a year. That was when I was 11.
I came back to the states a month before my 14th birthday, back to more abuse. Things got better when I was 17, I got into a fight with my stepfather, during which I told him if he ever hit me again I would kill him. I actually meant it when I said it, and I think he understood that.
He never touched me again, but I was disowned, he did not allow my mother or my little sisters (his daughters) to have a relationship with me, and I was cut off completely. I spent my 20's in moderate isolation, just trying to survive, pay rent, work, have my basic needs met. I spent 2 years in therapy in my late 20's, found a way to cope, things got better and I began to function better.
Now I'm a mom. I have an amazing 5 year old daughter, and during the past 3 years or so, I've been dealing with a lot of the ptsd symptoms. I just went back into therapy, and am trying to gather the tools to help me function better again. I'm just tired of hurting, and I can't deny this anymore.
I'm happy to have been told about this community. It seems like a safe place to share stuff that I normally keep secret.
Here goes...
I was emotionally and physically abused by my aunt, and by my stepfather. My stepfather molested me when I was 4. He was my moms new boyfriend and he babysat while she was at work. He didn't touch me again that way, but he married my mom and made my life a living hell, both through the physical and emotional/verbal abuse, and because he was a pervert and I always felt violated without him touching me.
Thanks to my stepfathers persuasive powers, I was sent back to the "old country" to live with one of my moms sisters, who would straighten me out, because apparently I was a spoiled, spoon fed, American child who needed to be taught a lesson. She physically and emotionally abused me, and basically allowed an uncle to sexually abuse me repeatedly during the course of a year. That was when I was 11.
I came back to the states a month before my 14th birthday, back to more abuse. Things got better when I was 17, I got into a fight with my stepfather, during which I told him if he ever hit me again I would kill him. I actually meant it when I said it, and I think he understood that.
He never touched me again, but I was disowned, he did not allow my mother or my little sisters (his daughters) to have a relationship with me, and I was cut off completely. I spent my 20's in moderate isolation, just trying to survive, pay rent, work, have my basic needs met. I spent 2 years in therapy in my late 20's, found a way to cope, things got better and I began to function better.
Now I'm a mom. I have an amazing 5 year old daughter, and during the past 3 years or so, I've been dealing with a lot of the ptsd symptoms. I just went back into therapy, and am trying to gather the tools to help me function better again. I'm just tired of hurting, and I can't deny this anymore.
