Sufferer Need Support With Avoidance Issues

[Anna Marie]

Hello Everyone,

It seems rather ironic to me at my age that I am actually admitting I have this problem with Avoidance and am finally seeing it and trying to get over it.

I am in the middle of making a big move and so until I get to my new destination and get set up with doctors and such, I am looking for a forum where I can learn from others that are going through the same thing.

I want this gone. It has wrecked my entire life, wasted so many years and now I want to be myself and feel and love completely, without doing those things that I thought protected me but only hurt me.

I am looking for resources online that I can read till I get settled, I need to know more about this and what I need to do to prepare for this journey.

I have so many questions - am I the only person that does these things? How do I keep from shutting down when I get hurt? Am I doing better, how do I know if I am doing better? What can my significant other do to help without being my crutch?

I hope to engage with people in here and hope I can be of a help as well.

Anna

 

[KP the nut]

Hi Anna and welcome to the forum.

I know that you will find the information and support a huge help on your recovery journey.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Hello and welcome to the forum. :)

I would start by reading around on the forum. You might find some answers there that will help you.

Best wishes.

 

[Hashi]

Welcome to the forum.

I think your questions are ones that many of us have, and are discussing here. I hope you'll find it helpful to be a member of the site.

Good luck with your move. I hope you can feel settled soon.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Hi and welcome to the forum. This is a really supportive community. I know you will like it here and get your answers. You are not alone.

 

[Ayasha]

I have so many questions - am I the only person that does these things? How do I keep from shutting down when I get hurt? Am I doing better, how do I know if I am doing better? What can my significant other do to help without being my crutch?

Welcome!

I think you'll find (I know I have done so) that you really are not alone and other people here share many of the symptoms as you. It is a really great support, being here.

 

[KatB]

Welcome! You are well-supported and taken care of here.

You are not alone. This forum is extremely helpful and insightful so use whatever resources they offer.

 

[AS1975]

Hi Anna,

I believe you have found one of the right places. Speaking for myself, I ruined an awful lot of my own life with avoidance and the resultant (or is it causal? Chicken/Egg syndrome) inability to communicate effectively. Welcome to the forum.

 

[anni]

Hi Anna, much welcome, I hope you've been able to come back and check to see if we've answered you. :) Do not mean to steal the icky limelight but Queen of All Avoidance here, and I'm Lutheran so that'd take some doing, we don't have saints. Awful way to live, isn't it?

There are no doubt a bazillion threads on this here, I know I've contributed to half a bazillion. I'll tell you one, single thing you can start to do to help- and that really is trying to log in here when you can. It was one of my tests for myself, and still is. I've even been here awhile but still, that STUPID 'thing' will creep into the back of my head, that 'iewww, arghh' thing, where you want to run like a bunny from.... what.... who the heck knows, seems to vary, but it does cause an awful lot of problems. 20 years of them here and counting if I don't watch it. Logging in here? SOOOO helpful, you'll see. After making yourself log in ( some days it's easy, others notsomuch, always worth it because of the precedence you just gave yourself to NOT avoid something ) there's 400,000 reasons it's a good, healing place for sufferers and supporters across the board.

Ran out of time to answer your 'crutch' question, not that I have THE answer-generally no one does, just their own take, you know? Plus, this is getting long anyway and don't wish to bore the bejeesis out of you esp. your first day, and really, really give you someone to avoid. :)

Welcome again, take care.