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What Did You Eat As A Child?

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I ate paper a lot as a child. Mealtimes were also a war zone when my father would pick on my sister or my mother about some stupid thing. I am 10 years younger than my sister, and was very small for my age as a child, so it felt pretty scary being a tiny little person in a household of big people screaming and yelling at each other.
 
From a young age it was my job to cook during the week and have it ready when mum got home from work

That's how it was in our household too. I think all the responsibilities growing up really deterred how I feel about doing them as an older person. I make a horrible housewife. My sister had the opposite effect and is a good housewife, cleaning and cooking wise. Of course my illness makes it worse, but, truth be known I hate anything that has to do with the house.

Now here's something kind of odd. I only lived with my father the first couple years of my life. Saw him on and off the majority of my life. However, he and I have much of the same food oddities. Just makes me wonder how much of genetics plays a part.

I definitely have an eating disorder but not because of lack of food or how food was used. My mom was pretty good about having us try food and if we didn't like it we didn't have to eat it. However then you had to fend for yourself, which just meant we had to make ourselves a sandwich or something like that. No biggie to me. Thankfully she never cooked liver. She did however cook spam. Yuck.
 
safenow - I now LOVE to eat, and don't seem to have any problems with eating. When I was little, I couldn't eat in the war zone, and I even remember asking if I could eat in my bedroom. Of course I wasn't allowed to do that.

I think I ate paper for a couple of reasons. I was horribly anemic due my untreated Celiac disease, and I craved the paper due to a condition called Pica.
 
Mothers fav meal to offer me was a cup of washing up liquid, scraps from the bin and if I was very lucky I would get whatever had gone out of date.

The things HE forced me to eat were vile.

Tube fed 'fat milk' now but working towards eating healthy...on a good day, I can manage 3 meals. Meals for me are no bigger than the size of a desert spoon and can be as small as two crumbs.
 
I had to eat alot of things I did not like, for instance tomatos, beets, hominy, peanut butter and mayonaisse sandwiches. I finally learned how to spit the food into my napkin and throw it away because I had to sit at the table until I was done. I never did that to my kids. If they did not like it they did not get it.
 
Charmedone, my heart goes out to you. I had to swallow horrible things growing up. But I don't call that yuck food. Because it wasn't. Men (and some women) can be very nasty. I hope soon you will be able to eat what is healthy for you, and not have to think of those bad things any more.

if you allow gentle hugs, (((( Charmedone ))))
 
It saddens me to hear of the sorts of food, or lack thereof, that so many of you grew up with. We always had plenty of healthy food available as well as a small, reasonable amount of treats.

Dinners throughout the week were typically meat, starch, veggies. Friday evenings my parents often brought home pizza from a take-out place on their way home from work as a special, easy, end-of-the-week meal. Sundays were always a larger (took more time and effort to make) meal typically followed by some sort of dessert.

I can relate to shell and Britt.f7's experiences of having to help with dinner. I was the oldest of three girls. My father typically got home from work a couple of hours before my mother. Either he or I had to start dinner and then my mom would help finish it when she got home. As I got older I was expected to prepare the entire meal (at the same time as watching after my younger sisters, cleaning the house, etc). This whole scenario later played into my abuse by my father but it still wasn't really related to the food, per se, just the issue of me filling so many of what were thought to be my mother's household roles (cooking, childcare, etc) and my father eventually thinking I should fulfill some of her other wifely duties as well. Now, as an adult, I hate to cook and I'm a pretty lousy housekeeper as well. But never in any of my time growing up did I ever have to worry about whether I would have adequate and nutritious food available to me at all times.

All of this talk is giving me second thoughts as to how I handle food issues with my daughter. She is a very difficult, picky, rigid eater. For the most part, I accommodate her difficult food demands (they are healthy, just very picky and no variety). She has just turned 8-years-old and there have been a couple of times recently when I've put my foot down and insisted that she taste or eat at least a few bites of other foods that are being served. It turns into a huge conflict, but I've stood my ground. I've tried explaining to her how lucky she is to not only have an abundance of food but to have the ability to be so picky about what she will eat and it is always there. I've tried explaining to her that most kids have to eat the same thing as the adults in their house and they aren't able to dictate what they will and won't eat. I've told her that there are a lot of unfortunate kids who have little or nothing to eat and she needs to understand how fortunate she is.

But as I read through some of the above stories, it makes me go back to my previous thinking of the past eight years that it's just not worth battling over. Like I said, her food choices are healthy (well, she does like snacks and treats as much as any other kid her age but understands they are only allowed in moderation and that she definitely doesn't get snacks or treats if she hasn't eaten proper healthy meals). I don't want her to grow up and have even bigger food issues than she already does and just remember the times when I made her eat things she didn't want to eat. I'd rather she grows up remembering that she always had enough to eat, they were meals that she enjoyed and they were filled with an abundance of healthy foods.
 
I just have to add, that after my divorce I faced some very tough financial times for awhile. There were some times when I didn't have enough money to make ends meet. Making sure my daughter had nutritious foods that she would eat was always at the top of the priority list. I would eat ramen noodles (or go without a meal) if I had to in order to make sure that my child always had plenty of healthy food available to her. The idea that there might not be enough food never occurred to her, nor should it ever have to be a reality for any child.

But I just can't understand any adult who could eat a good meal in front of a child and allow the child to go hungry. In my family we were raised that you never eat in front of a child without making sure they are also being fed...no matter who the child is, even a total stranger. I would hand my meal over to a total stranger before eating in front of a hungry child.

I am so sorry for all of you who had to endure the lack of adequate food.
 
I agree with Catjudo. How a parent or any human being can eat food and not prioritise the nourishment of their or any child is beyond my understanding. It is just inhumane and despicable and I am so sorry that any of you that were tortured with food or starved had to experience something like that. .

Barely anything
Hugs Escatacia is OK.

I'm having a pity party today. ...I realized my early years could be compared to those who lived at Auschwitz camp. T...and I was a wee little child, most of the survivor's there were adults.
Personally I hate those words "pity party". I know people use them a lot and don't seem to mind but I find them diminishing. Feeling grief for what you experienced is not a pity party to me. Yes, we don't want to drown in that place and there is much that is joyous and good about life so looking for that is good. I am so sorry that this was another layer of what you experienced. Isn't amazing how remarkable the body is - your body is - that it survived that. I think you should be amazed by your resilience.

I would eat sand
I am very sorry you were not looked after better Jaret. That is very wrong. Am I to understand that you ate sand because you were hungry and yet your parents got to eat good food?


Mothers fav meal to offer me was a cup of washing up liquid,
Charmedone. All of what you mention is horrific. I am very sorry. Your mother is just plain evil. What you are eating is not enough and you and your body deserve good healing nourishing food. Please keep fighting. Torturing yourself in the ways others have tortured you in not right. I wish you healing.

And to all of you who were parentification and made to have the weight of adult responsibilities on your shoulders - I am sorry for that too. And to anyone with damage connected to food.
 
how I handle food issues with my daughter.
Catjudo,
I think the important thing is not to be emotional when dealing with it. To be assertive when needed but high stress and anger and or fear coming from someone is sure to compound issues around eating rather than help. I think its fine to insist she tries something. As long as success or failure are not personalised and that there is no drama. And I also think perfection is not important. Just my opinion. I am sorry you had to do without for the sake of your child.

or who struggled with food, do you still have eating problems?
Safenow,
I am very grateful I did not have to deal with what others have here but even with what I did experience it has taken the longest time to able able to feed myself appropriately. I have had eating disorders for most of life. I am pleased to say that in the last few years I have recovered at long last. I need to do many things to stay that way but I am fine with that.

Despite much ongoing treatment over the years I had no concept of body signals for hunger or satiety until about 3 or 4 years ago I started connecting the dots. They still "go away" but I have learned how to compensate when that happens. Food is medicine for me and that is OK. I am grateful. And I am very grateful I have no truly serious health consequences from malnutrition or other behaviours.
 
We never had any money and we ate a lot of interesting things. We picked mushrooms when we knew they'd have grown, squirrel, the sunfish we caught in the nearby creek, deer, pheasant (if my brothers could get one) and she even tried to cook a snapping turtle once. Mom occasionally baked bread and to this day, the smell of baking bread gives me a smile. It is the smell of love for me.

We also had a huge garden and I spent summers weeding and picking veggies and fruit. Potatoes were standard because we grew lots them. Strawberries because we had a huge strawberry patch, corn, green beans, peas. We were allowed to nibble on any/all of the stuff in the garden whenever we wanted. I guess Mom figured it was better than a lot of other things we might have wanted to eat. She froze or canned a ton of food every year. One summer we had chickens, ducks and geese and they were all butchered and frozen. We ate a lot of hamburger and chicken because they were the cheaper meats in the store. I don't know how Mom managed to feed up but she was found the deals and managed to always have food for us. We also had oatmeal every morning all winter long. She said it would "stick to our ribs." We got school lunches - I think because we paid a reduced price. Way back when, they were good because they cooked them at the school. I just remember there always being food. I was expected to help and I learned a lot about cooking from my mom. I may not have had clothes that weren't nearly rags but we were fed. I think Mom didn't have enough growing up and so she was going to make sure we did.
 
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