zef-I can relate to what you are saying. It sounds like my own story. Some medical problems, but a sense of foreshortened future. Even though I may have had it for years, the symptoms exacerbated after several traumatic events. Then I came into some money as a result of one of those incident. Since I didnt believe that I would be alive long, I was extremely sloppy with it, giving to relatives and buying gifts, making myself comfortable for the time and taking vacations.
As I am healing some, I am now thinking that I might not die soon. Now I am going to have to figure out how to survive the retirement years. Im still not convinced that I will be here for it, but the sense of foreshortened future is not as strong as it was. I do realize that this thinking is very distorted. I have all kinds of physical problems, but nothing that makes an early death inevitable.
I hope you can find a way to think beyond just raising your children. It has been very difficult for me. It makes it difficult to be motivated or initiate things. There is a shadow like cloud that is part of me and says that nothing I do will matter. My kids are raised, the house clutter is cleaned out and the house is in the best shape, the files are in good shape. Its almost as though I have been preparing and Im only 53. Its as if I just know I will not be here so not to make any plans or committments. Now I am beginning to challenge that. Its like a sense of knowing, even stronger than a "belief".
Initially, I had anxiety about it, and eventually it became almost peaceful. Yet Im still here-with less money.