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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

Hypervigilant and anxious. They have apparently replaced my numbness lately. I've been feeling like this almost constantly for days now. It's too much. I'm overwhelmed. I think I might rather just be numb all the time again. And go back to suppressing everything so I didn't have to feel anymore. This is terrible. I'm exhausted on every level. I guess it doesn't help that I have a cold now too.
 
Hope. I have a new friend whose name is Brenda. THere is always hope in a new friendship. Also, on Saturdays my friend Shirly sometimes comes to take me to the grocery. I hope she will today, because I forgot some things and have used more of other thinags than planned and I will too soon be out of some things I use every day, so...
 
Pumpkinpie,
I too can find the humor and irony in all of this. To me it's God's way of sending me a laugh and a lesson about how fragile life is. As I told the nurse yesterday this could be so much worse it could have been from a bee sting which I'm allergic to also. I sure hope this energy lasts and am taking full advantage of it.
Laurie
 
I'm feeling better than I did when I checked my e-mail this morning.

I found an e-mail from someone whom I have no contact with but it seems that I needed to process how my body would feel in seeing his name. I immediately tensed up and had fear.

I then realized that I can feel those feelings as I no longer have to be a victim because of him, and immediately deleted his e-mail. He caused me lots of pain years ago, but now I knew I didn't have to engage with him, and I didn't!

What a learning experience this was and has been for myself!
 
very slow, a bit primal, a bit dissociative but in a good way...it feels even more like my body is slowing down into the shape of the pain inside.....and do you know what sensation I feel when I allow it the space to be sit there? It feels like trust...of myself/for myself. I feel good exhausted even though I've been sleeping all day. I feel blind, like my mind and eyes no longer control my actions and it feels nice instead of scary. I would like it though if I had someone to hold when I feel like this.
 

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