Bad Near Death Experiences?

[Venusian]

When I was five I had been kidnapped and I was smothered. I blocked out the memory for decades and it just started coming back to me a few months ago. At first I didn't want to believe it but the flashbacks got so intense it felt like I was reliving it over and over again for days. As the memories returned and settled into a progression they began as me fighting for breath, my chest hurt and a heavy pressure pushing down on me and I struggled for more than the few gasps of air I could get. Then all the pain started going away and the blackness I was in just started to get darker, I began to feel like I was floating, I could not feel anything anymore but the last thing I remember was a tingle like an electric shock that went through my whole body. I wasn't hurting, I wasn't scared, I was just totally at peace, there was just no emotion anymore. None of the white lights, no voices, just the electricity. When I woke up I was being carried inside and the terror started all over again.

 

[Venusian]

I had to take a break from my post yesterday..., I still haven't healed from knowing this yet. I had blocked this part out of my memory so completely that when the memory came back it was like it had just happened. I have had other memories come back, me giving up so completely that I wanted to get back to that place where I could feel nothing anymore, I thought it was going to be my only escape. The only reason I was let go was because they chose to let me go.

I still don't know what it means but through the years my spiritual beliefs have changed from what I had been taught as a child. I was brought up christian but I don't know if I could actually call myself that anymore even though I continue the traditions. I have become more spiritual but very much less religious.

 

[The Albatross]

I was almost shot twice. I was strangled several times and thought I was going to die. I had an episode where I had been under ansethesia and they almost couldn't get me back. I bled out and almost died from a botched tonsillectomy and had to have two transfusions after my mom found me after visiting hours in the hospital at 6.

I admit to myself that I have been damaged by all this... but I did not die. I choose to keep the fact that I survived because it gives me some more courage to face things moving forward. More courage than I would possess if I thought my soul was murdered, I think. Because, though mortally wounded for a long time... my soul lives as best as it is able. It fights to survive, just like I did/do in real life.

 

[Anna]

I just got really really cold and dizzy from the blood loss and started shivering. No lights or angels or stuff like that. Just the cold.

Changed me a lot. I realise how important life is, and that we should be grateful for every moment we are given.

Some people in the past believed if you had a near death experience you were more likely to experience paranormal things? Such as paralysis during waking and the old hag on your chest!

 

[myself]

I'm pretty sure that a good chunk of people with PTSD have had one or more near death exsperiences. I know I have, over, and over, and over again and again and again.... hence the PTSD. When I was in near death exsperiences, I don't remember what was going on in my head. During the worst abuse, I tended to disasociate and go somewhere; my body would be there but my mind was somewhere else if that makes sence.

 

[Hashi]

Some people in the past believed if you had a near death experience you were more likely to experience paranormal things? Such as paralysis during waking and the old hag on your chest!

Well, that describes me. Also lucid dreams, which it amazes me that people actually try to have, do exercises etc to try to make them happen. I don't think people understand what they are, which is being in two different states of consciousness at the same time, and only a hair's breadth away from the paralysis and hallucinations - they're just different points on a spectrum.

It seems like there are two types of near death that people are talking about here, and that both are very valid to talk about. I've also experienced the "think/feel I'm going to die" type, and the near-departure/nothingness.

My struggle right now is actually physically dying, going to a different plane altogether, literally no longer being alive and of this world... and having a bad experience of that. The desperate panicked racing of my mind through everything that ever happened before, in an attempt to find a way out. Then feeling my mind, my physical self, my existence shatter and leave me, every cell imploding and exploding at the same time. Then the transition to something/somewhere else, which I can't talk about.

Back in this world, knowing that I had the experience I did only terrifies and horrifies me. It lets me know there's more than just this one existence, but there's nothing good about that understanding. It was evil and malign. So now I have a spiritual awareness that I sincerely wish I didn't have. It doesn't make me feel anything positive about this life or what comes after.

I always think about this, when I hear that someone was murdered (and didn't come back to life). I wonder if it was the same for them as it was for me. If so, I wonder how long it lasted, or if there even is such a thing as it lasting/taking time. I wonder if it ever ends. I wonder what was beyond where I got to. Or did they have the peace, angels, light and the guide, and if so why didn't I? Will it happen to me again when I do die and don't come back?

 

[sea]

(triggeries)

hellish experience. Literally.

my NDEs (esp prison):

 

[CPTSD]

Sea... WOW.

Yes, I have had every type of Near Death Experience, both the hell, and the heaven, and I have also had the "nothing" one. But my heaven experience was my last experience, and it was beyond AWESOME.

I personally believe that my hell eperience, which TERRIFIED me, and gave me years of panic attacks... that experience, horrible as it was, led me on a spiritual path of seeking the GOOD, as opposed to the EVIL, in all aspects of life. As I have done this, and I continue to do this, my life here on earth has much less of hell in it, and much more of heaven. My last near-death happened several years down the road of my spiritual pursuit of holiness, peace, truth, and love, and it was a purely wonderful experience. If I needed to have the hell scared out of me by my earlier hellish experience, in order to turn my life toward the good, then it was well worth it!

Still... I'm not in any hurry to leave this earthly life yet, because there is so much here that I would miss, and I feel that I am not quite ready, my spiritual lessons and tasks are not yet complete.

By the way... as one who has had suicidal desires many times in my life because of my PTSD, I find it ironic that when it seemed that my life was about to be ended suddenly, and beyond my control, THEN I YEARNED with everything that is in me, to LIVE! For me, I believe the difference is one of control. I don't want to experience that ultimate loss of control of having my life taken from me, before I am ready to lay it down!

I, too, have had far more experiences of a paranormal nature since my first serious near-death. I believe the reason for that is because most of us, most of the time, are very tightly tethered to this physical realm in which we live. But, when our own near-death occurs, and we experience something of the world to come, that experience opens our awareness to the MORE that is around us, and beyond us. We are being bombarded right now, every one of us, with a multitude of pictures and words and sounds, that we cannot hear or see... I am speaking of radio waves, and TV broadcasts, and wireless phone and internet transmissions... these things are constantly in the air all around us, and they are even inside our own fleshly bodies, but we do not have the proper equipment to tune all these pictures and words in, so that we can see and hear tham. (Thank goodness we don't have the ability to see and hear everything that is around and within us, for what a maddening deafening roar that would be!)

There is, I believe, a correlation between the very real presence of radio and TV waves, which must have the proper receivers tuned to the requisite frequencies, in order to be made visible and audible to our human eyes and ears, and the invisible, inaudible spiritual realities that I believe are also around us. When we have a very close near death experience, there is a crack in the divide, I think, between this world and the other, which would probably account for the increase in our paranormal awareness.

As for me, I fervently PRAY to the Creator God of my understanding, asking for constant protection from the cold soul-killing hate-mongering EVIL that I know is in the spiritual realm, and praying that my spirit may be open only to that which is truly Holy and Good.

When I was in nursing school years ago, the more I learned, the more I realized how utterly miraculous and intricate and mysterious our own human bodies are. The more we learn of science in general, the more amazing and complicated the things which we call Life, and Nature, are proven to be.

I, who used to have the most horrible panic attacks you can imagine, have a motto that I came up with on my own, after going through some seriously hellish experiences. My motto is:

FEAR NO TRUTH.

Elaina

 

[Meadowsweet]

Back in this world, knowing that I had the experience I did only terrifies and horrifies me. It lets me know there's more than just this one existence, but there's nothing good about that understanding. It was evil and malign. So now I have a spiritual awareness that I sincerely wish I didn't have.

I think its possible, that you're basing the beliefs of spiritual awareness on your bad experience. But studies of near death experiences that I've heard of, have often shown that people find themselves in a place that is created out of their earthly beliefs and experiences.

When I used to meditate more, I could feel myself gradually go through stages of conciousness. When we sleep there are recognised stages too. So it seems logical that when we die, there are gradual stages of dying.

Whats important to recognise is that these are 'near death' experiences, not the non-returnable place of death itself.

I might be wrong, but when people are on life support, there is a stage when there may no longer be any brain activity. Its then that they decide there is no longer reason to keep the body alive artificially. But it shows that the brain keeps going for a short while after the body has died. So during near death, the brain is still alive, working and processing, even in unconciousness.

I'm sorry that you experienced this. And I wouldn't wish to diminish anyone's spiritual beliefs. I do believe that our spirit or energy is on-going.

But I think, if a belief is giving others or your fears additional power over your mind. Then it helps to question it and look for alternative explanations.

 

[Jesse12]

I had experiences where upon waking I felt my self floating. I felt weightless. Sometimes I can see figures when I awake near my bed. In those states between sleep and waking it might be a possiple window into the spirit realm. I had a weird experience when I was working in northern California. We where doing a job up north, I and three other guys. We got a hotel, and one night, I was sleeping, and upon awakening I saw my co worker standing over his sleeping body. It was weird. About a year latter, I was talking with him and he thought that he may have had experiences with obe's while sleeping. Back on hell, I believe the Lord has giving me a couple of dreams about what hell is really like. I will try describe it as best as I can. It's actually a very weird place. It's nothing like anything I can imagine. It can be best described as lifeless and void. The liflessness is overpowering, it's a void, a vacume of spiritual death.

 

[Nicolette]

Hi Jesse12 - I have removed your initial post as, while you are entitled to your belief's and view's, please be mindful that you do not push them upon others thank you.

 

[Hashi]

[EDITED TO ADD: I was writing this while Nicolette removed the first post, which is what I was referring to here. Thanks, Nicolette.)

Hi Jesse,

Welcome to the forum. I appreciate you sharing your own experiences and wanting to help me.

I have to ask you not to present your particular religious view as the solution for me. It's against forum policy, as explained here:
[DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/religious-beliefs.24710/#post-355236[/DLMURL]

As explained in that thread, it's OK to talk about your own views in relation to yourself, but not in relation to other people or trying to push your views on other people.

...someone with a religious or non religious belief enforcing that the belief is behind the solution or topic.

Eg.. "by believing in God I think" (view)..... "versus if you believed in God then" (pushing).

Since posting this over a year ago, I'm glad to say I've worked on this in therapy and have made much more peace with it in the context of my own spiritual views. I have also made progress with meditation, and now understand how to stay safe while meditating.

It was actually a surprise to me to read this thread and see how far I've come, so for that reason thank you Jesse for bringing it forward again.

To be honest, I was also surprised how much I revealed in it. I was fairly new on the forum and have since decided not to reveal much detail of any of my traumas. This thread is already out there, though, and thankfully is just about within my disclosure comfort level... :cautious: Ah well.