Criterion A, Loopholes And Denial.

[ninja]

Abstract,

I just want you to know that I hear you and believe you. I can relate to everything you've shared on so many levels. It resonates deep within me. I haven't been able to gather the courage on my own, but witnessing your bravery is really helping me to find my own. Thank you. :hug:

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I feel that by answering any of your questions that I'm feeding into your denial. We could debate any and all of those points but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter. Why? None of us are qualified to diagnose you (or anyone) and as such it is somewhat pointless for us to debate things on which we are not educated. Yes, we can read the DSM criteria, but as it's been said before, diagnosis is more than a checklist of symptoms.

I think a more fruitful conversation would involve focusing on the denial rather than debating the points of diagnosis.

If you only have one opinion, seek that of a second psychiatrist. If you have more than one diagnosis of PTSD, it's time to start focusing in on accepting it. Why are you denying it? Well, not completely, of course, of you wouldn't be here. What are you afraid of? Is staying ill better than healing?

Denial just keeps you stuck. I'm sure this is nothing you don't already know.

Nobody ever gets better by not pushing themselves forward. I really think you should focus on pushing through the denial instead of arguing points of diagnosis which fuel the denial.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[Lucasta]

My therapist had to get out her DSM, and go over with me point by point why I had this diagnosis. I felt.... unworthy, since I know a lot of guys who have PTSD from combat. But the other thing I've learned from knowing people with combat-related PTSD, is that it's the same disease, and we have more in common than not.

 

[JustBe]

The diagnosis is a hard pill to swallow. I was diagnosed in 2000 by my son's Psychiatrist, took the meds to help me cope with the anxiety and Panic attacks and then (unsuccessfully) stuffed it all down until I had "time" to deal with it.

Denial doesn't work. Eventually you have to deal with whatever it is or it kills you.

 

[Jacnic]

Yes, ultimately denial doesn't work, but if you have lived many years, since the event that began everything, by intellectualising it all then denial is a very hard habit to break.

But, if the emotional load of the trauma is too heavy to bare, then maybe some degree of denial might actually help healing, by allowing by small manageable bites to be released at a time.????

(Does that make any sense?)

 

[Springer80]

have always valued my strong rational mind and it is in there somewhere.

Extreme conviction that I have lied about everything

But, if the emotional load of the trauma is too heavy to bare, then maybe some degree of denial might actually help healing, by allowing by small manageable bites to be released at a time.????

Denial operates on levels cos we cant cope with it all at once.

What makes you think that you are in control/have power over the rate at which your denial lifts? You haven't lied about everything, your physiology covered up things it couldn't manage all at once, you did not consciously do it with your intellect.

 

[Springer80]

PS Hope your okay.....:hug:

 

[Jacnic]

Hi Springer.

I do understand what you are saying, but my situation is that for 35+years I have chosen to live in the above-ground part of my "house" (my rational world). The basement is full of emotional c**p that I am numb to most of the time, but I am trying to engage in it. At the moment I am making reasoned efforts to let myself "feel" some of the stuff that is down there..... However, when it gets too much and I start to spiral down, I can switch off from it, and go back upstairs for a bit to regroup. When I am ready again, I can go back to the basement for another small bite. Any more than that is too much.

I like to think about it as a reasoned and functional denial/engagement process.

 

[Jacnic]

The difficulty with managing this is that the c**p in the basement can sometimes burst out, especially when I am triggered. When this happens I have to work harder to go back upstairs..... But I have years of practice of doing this. Yes, you could call this denial.... I prefer to call it management - as I am committed to dealing with it over time.... Not all at this very moment.

Maybe such an approach is the product of a highly dominant rational lifestyle......?

 

[JustBe]

I couldn't keep my cr*p in "the basement". It kept oozing out and sticking to everything in my "house". I had to open the door and face it head on like a huge spring cleaning that so far has taken a year and a half to feel like my house is starting to be in order again...different, but liveable.

 

[Springer80]

I like your analogy Jacnic, I feel I was the same for quite some time too but my body gave out on me and my abililty to go back upstairs just left. I can't describe it any other way...and I found that what previously had been ok as an upstairs to go to was now not acceptable for the capability I am left with.

So basically I'm stuck in the basement, my house has been taken away, ground floor up and I don't know what to do.

 

[Jacnic]

Springer, can I send you a hug? :hug:

Jac