Somatoform Dissociation

[Maggiemay]

We only tried to install a safe place. I have a place already I know well and can visualise, but issue was I struggled with paying attention to my inner world and concentrating on tracking her fingers. We went into it being aware of my difficulties with dissociating during sessions. It's a difficult task to stay with her and not wonder off in my head. It also brought up a lot of intense feelings and emotions. Hopefully we'll go back to it...

 

[Only 1 of me]

EMDR can be very tough. I was frustrated initially that my EMDR therapist wouldn't start until I was stable enough. We spent about 6 weeks working on safe space visualisation, grounding my resources, etc. he is very thorough. We use headphones and hand grips so i can close my eyes which is easier for me. I think EMDR is pretty specialised, and I'm not sure i would feel comfortable with someone just qualified. You can't dabble with this, in my experience.

 

[zaniara]

My body has also been a lot more numb this week than it's been in a long time... All worrying me a lot. Made appointment to see doctor, but not til 17th :(

Good that you will check it up, so that you can exclude that it's something else "wrong" with you. I recognize hurting, cutting and bruising my self(not on purpose): right now I look like a dalmatian who have been through a dogfight or something.. :D

I think EMDR is pretty specialized, and I'm not sure i would feel comfortable with someone just qualified.

I can agree that EMDR is pretty specialized and can be very though- but I'm very grateful for EMDR since I don't think I would get to resolve these bad memories this well otherwise. But my therapist is also not certified in EMDR yet, he is still in training. But that doesn't mean that he hasn't performed a lot of sessions with EMDR already, it only means that he has some more to learn and is still under supervision. Sometimes he have "taped" our sessions so that his teacher can look at it and give him feedback. But even if that's a risk: it's been a risk worth taking. Because he is a very, very good therapist(certified CBT therapist among other things) and even though he did some mistakes in the beginning, his teacher corrected him and I think I feel almost safer with him being still in training(he took a two year course in EMDR; but now he has to perform EMDR with 20 patients before being certified) since I know he is really working on learning this and getting a lot of feedback. I know others going to therapists who have learned EMDR but then hasn't developed beyond that; and it has happened A LOT in the EMDR-field the last years; so they need to keep learning to develop and be good at it.

I hope your therapist manage to help you get more stable soon. But it's good she is careful and working on that before going into more EMDR; since it might be a bumpy ride an you need to be able to ground your self and calm your self down before doing that work. If you're still hurting your self your not really stable.. So she seem to be a very responsible therapist taking it your own pace. I hope you feel safe with her.

 

[Maggiemay]

Thanks for your input guys :)

She is new to EMDR (actually did training for me!) But I trust her - I've seen her for a year and she's amazing.

You're right about being stable. I don't feel very stable at all at the mo... :(

May ask about hand tapping as I think it'll be easier for me
. Xxx

 

[maddog]

Thinking of you Maggiemay, I know you're doing it tough right now. I've also been temporarily suspended from EMDR due to lack of stability. It hurt, but I know it was the right thing. Safety always has to come first and any responsible therapist will always prioritise our needs in that way.

Wishing you some calm and some better days.

Maddog

 

[Maggiemay]

Thanks maddog :)

I'm not feeling very stable at all at the moment. Made appointment to see dr but he isn't back off holiday for another week :( Boo!
Xxx

 

[Err0r]

Wishing you the best, Maggiemay. EMDR is hard, I had exactly the same problem with my T when I started working on it. I just couldn't concentrate and psyched myself out so much about having to reprocess the memories that I would dissociate, even though we were only trying to install the safe place/safe person.

 

[Maggiemay]

Thanks error :)

What you describe sounds very familiar *sigh* . Therapist is back from holiday tomorrow and seeing her Thursday - I'd love to retry EMDR... I've put so much faith in it, I think I'm putting too much pressure on myself... xxx