Wow, a really interesting and compelling issue, which I know is a very real dilemma for you right now Abstract, but which is also something that is going to be increasingly relevant for many people as the cyber age marches on and more and more things become online that once would only have occurred in person.
I don't have a lot to add really, certainly no personal experiences, other than to say that I was initially dismissive and incredulous about the concept, but find Leah's reflections and insights and experiences to be very compelling and reasonable and the very important flip side to many of the concerns I'd have instinctively come up with.
I think the bottom line is that choice is a good thing, always. Different things work for different people, and that's why having different options is great. Often we don't know what works for us until or unless we try it. The only thing to be careful of is that with therapy, unlike many experiences in life, there is something to lose if it doesn't work out, and soa bit of extra caution is necessary I suppose when dealing with very fragile issues of coping and emotional stability and safety.
It has struck me in reading Leah's posts that she is obviously someone with a lot of personal insight, a very articulate ability to express and explain herself and her emotions/thoughts/overall state of being, and a lot of motivation to engage with the therapy. I think these things are particularly essential in the case of online therapy, as some of the natural aids to in-person communication are missing and need to be compensated for by even greater awareness and disclosure on the part of the client. I think it's probably easier to lie or mislead online, whether intentionally or not, and so there's probably greater capacity for miscommunications and errors of judgment and perception to occur. Where issues of safety are involved, obviously this is highly relevant.
A good therapist is always important. But a better than good online therapist is probably necessary. Just as the client needs to work hard to articulate and share openly and honestly, the therapist must be particularly skilled and perceptive. "Good enough" probably isn't good enough for online therapy, so even more stringent assessment of the therapist in the beginning would probably be advisable.
The only other thing that comes to mind at this point is that while obviously the online relationship is a legitimate relationship, it does lack some of the intricacies of an in-person relationship, such as the requirement for actual face-to-face human contact and a degree of social exposure. Depending on where you're at in your own life, and what you're seeking in therapy, this may or may not be an issue. But for those of us who have a lot of relational abuse and its consequences, learning to tolerate and take part in human relationships can be one of the most valuable bi-products of therapy, and I wonder if this could occur to the same degree where the parties never actually shared space and the full spectrum of communication dynamics. I could be wrong, just a thought I suppose...
Hope all of these thoughts help and dont' hinder Abstract, I think you are very wise to consider this as an option and to explore its pros and cons. The "baby steps" sentiment really resonated with me, and if therapy in the traditional sense isn't doable right now for whatever reason, but online therapy potentially is, then it's a very very valid thing to consider. Maybe it could be the stepping stone to in-person therapy. Maybe it would turn out to be a sustainable substitute.
Wishing you well in your considerations, as always...
Maddog
I don't have a lot to add really, certainly no personal experiences, other than to say that I was initially dismissive and incredulous about the concept, but find Leah's reflections and insights and experiences to be very compelling and reasonable and the very important flip side to many of the concerns I'd have instinctively come up with.
I think the bottom line is that choice is a good thing, always. Different things work for different people, and that's why having different options is great. Often we don't know what works for us until or unless we try it. The only thing to be careful of is that with therapy, unlike many experiences in life, there is something to lose if it doesn't work out, and soa bit of extra caution is necessary I suppose when dealing with very fragile issues of coping and emotional stability and safety.
It has struck me in reading Leah's posts that she is obviously someone with a lot of personal insight, a very articulate ability to express and explain herself and her emotions/thoughts/overall state of being, and a lot of motivation to engage with the therapy. I think these things are particularly essential in the case of online therapy, as some of the natural aids to in-person communication are missing and need to be compensated for by even greater awareness and disclosure on the part of the client. I think it's probably easier to lie or mislead online, whether intentionally or not, and so there's probably greater capacity for miscommunications and errors of judgment and perception to occur. Where issues of safety are involved, obviously this is highly relevant.
A good therapist is always important. But a better than good online therapist is probably necessary. Just as the client needs to work hard to articulate and share openly and honestly, the therapist must be particularly skilled and perceptive. "Good enough" probably isn't good enough for online therapy, so even more stringent assessment of the therapist in the beginning would probably be advisable.
The only other thing that comes to mind at this point is that while obviously the online relationship is a legitimate relationship, it does lack some of the intricacies of an in-person relationship, such as the requirement for actual face-to-face human contact and a degree of social exposure. Depending on where you're at in your own life, and what you're seeking in therapy, this may or may not be an issue. But for those of us who have a lot of relational abuse and its consequences, learning to tolerate and take part in human relationships can be one of the most valuable bi-products of therapy, and I wonder if this could occur to the same degree where the parties never actually shared space and the full spectrum of communication dynamics. I could be wrong, just a thought I suppose...
Hope all of these thoughts help and dont' hinder Abstract, I think you are very wise to consider this as an option and to explore its pros and cons. The "baby steps" sentiment really resonated with me, and if therapy in the traditional sense isn't doable right now for whatever reason, but online therapy potentially is, then it's a very very valid thing to consider. Maybe it could be the stepping stone to in-person therapy. Maybe it would turn out to be a sustainable substitute.
Wishing you well in your considerations, as always...
Maddog
