Oh Well..

[Leah123]

crying is natural to women

Crying may be natural to some women, though it has not been to me. But please don't presume it is to all, or that we have an easier time of it. Everyone on this board has difficulties, and there is no need to demean womens' in order to explain yours.

 

[wicked child]

and there is no need to demean womens' in order to explain yours.

That was no my intention. I think you knew that.

 

[Leah123]

It is much more difficult for men.

That was no my intention. I think you knew that.

If I knew it, I wouldn't comment on it. I'm not sure what else we can reasonably read from your post except that you're saying PTSD treatment is easier for women, apparently because you say "crying is natural to women." I find it sexist and unnecessary: you do not need to judge others in order to excuse your own resistance to treatment. We all have a hard road, no need to tell me the grass is greener on my side. I'll step out of this thread now, don't want to steer it too far off track.

 

[wicked child]

I'll step out of this thread now.

Thank you so much. That really would be marvellous of you..

 

[Hashi]

wicked child, my response is the same as Leah's.

You have generalised and are stereotyping men and women, and in doing so you're invalidating how hard things can be for women, who are each an individual person with different reactions and different feelings about crying. Just as each man is an individual with his own experiences, feelings and responses. You don't seem to agree. I'm also departing from this thread.

 

[wicked child]

I'm also departing from this thread.

Oh dear, Whatever shall we do..

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Is it just me, or are the "pleasantries" (ha) toward women being continued by the snarky comments after they leave? WC, I think you're reinforcing your beliefs. Maybe in your next thread, you could post "women need not reply"?

 

[wicked child]

Not leaving ?

 

[dnp]

Not sure what your budget is and whether you are in London or Oxford but I found Efficacy in London to be excellent and they have therapists in training for 55 pounds, a senior therapist is 89 pounds. I pay way more than that in the US and my bank account is tanking. Yikes! So I think I can only afford a few more sessions.

Just to throw it out there, I have very few emotions and never cry, despite being a woman. My childhood was terrifying, and I didn't dare to show emotions or cry as I didn't know what would happen, whether I would be punished by beating, torture or death. My friend is a former soldier and has combat PTSD and he's way more sensitive and emotional than I am. He's teaching me how to feel.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I never said I was. Others did though.

Abused by females? Or did you witness a male abusing/degrading females as a child?

 

[DMerish]

Hi WC,

I think for the sake of clarity, so that others could more readily understand your situation and possibly respond in helpful ways, that it would have helped others if, rather than copy/paste the letter you received, you had outlined your situation and specified what, if any, help you'd like.

OK, let me say that crying is natural to women. But men are very wary of this. It is difficult to talk about this stuff without getting emotional, and men don't like that

I didn't take the comment above as demeaning women. I heard it as a generalized statement which said: a woman's tears are generally more commonly acceptable more so than tears shed by a man. Therefore, men prefer not to cry freely, especially in front of other people, particularly other men.

However, by not stating the purpose in your original post, I "heard" an assumption that others were to figure it out for themselves, as well as the clearly written assumption, (i.e. "I thought you knew that"). I "heard" and unnecessary sarcasm, (i.e. "That would be marvelous of you" etc. in following posts.

I "heard" that you're despondent from the title of your post, and perhaps you're in pain and very frustrated. Did I get that right?

When clear communication is lacking, it's easy to misunderstand what someone else is trying to convey. And I so desperately want love and understanding that sometimes I forget clear communication is the key, especially when I need help and I'm hurting.

I'm sorry you received the unfavorable news, and that I can't provide any insight as to navigating systems in the UK since I'm not a resident.

P.S. "Waking the Tiger" and "Monkey Mind" are the next two books on my list.


I didn't take the comment above as demeaning women. I heard it as a generalized statement that that said: a woman's tears are generally more commonly acceptable more so than tears shed by a man. Therefore, men prefer not to cry freely, especially in front of other people, particularly other men.



So, okay - I've criticized your writing. You can consider what I've written or tell me to f_off. Either/both are your prerogative.

Clear communication is the fabric that holds humanity together.

 

[wicked child]

Not sure what your budget is and whether you are in London or Oxford but I found Efficacy in London to be excellent

Hi dnp. I am in North West England. Thanks for the ref to Efficacy, I shall google for this.

Just to throw it out there, I have very few emotions and never cry, despite being a woman. My childhood was terrifying, and I didn't dare to show emotions or cry as I didn't know what would happen, whether I would be punished by beating, torture or death. My friend is a former soldier and has combat PTSD and he's way more sensitive and emotional than I am. He's teaching me how to feel.

dnp, I really feel for you. I want to cuddle you, and let you know that you are safe and loved. Your past is truly terrifying. Peace to you little Sister.

After my last attempt to get help I found myself getting emotional and crying about my childhood. I as so ashamed. I was not belittling women, I was simply tried to explain how difficult and shameful this is for men, It this age TV bravado does not help.