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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

Trying to decide what to do about my shoulder. I looked it up and when you have shoulder problems, it means that you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. How true, how true that has been for me my entire life. Think I'm going to call the doctor tomorrow and schedule to get a cortisone shot, and see if that would help with the pain. I will talk with the doctor about what he thinks I should do before I see the chiropractor again.
 
Feeling really sad today, and the emptiness is tangible. I didn't sleep through the night, and felt so alone and lonely and miss my pussycat so much. It's weird waking up to no cat bugging me for food, or having her come and snuggle with me. I miss that. I guess the grief is in full swing today. I don't want to be alone.
 
My condolences Ms Spock. I hope you feel better soon, but it will take time I know. Can you do something nice for yourself, even just something small?

I'm feeling like I can relax now that I have trains and trams organized for tomorrow. It's my first day at work and I have mixed feelings about returning...but it is exciting to be starting at a new place, with new people, and better conditions than the last place. I'm hoping they will all be above board and no sleaziness or bitchiness, but can't be sure until I'm there?

I'm going in with the attitude of giving them a chance, like they are giving me, and if it turns out they are not good then I will walk and sort something else out. I'm calmer than I was about the money situation now.

I still feel a bit stressed at not knowing how many shifts I have and therefore how much money I am likely to make before rent is due next friday, but I am trusting that it will all be ok...hopefully?

My sense of security is being triggered here, and old fears of ending up homeless again are surfacing...but it probably won't come to that. So much uncertainty I'm dealing with. It's hard to feel comfortable sitting with uncertainty at times.

I have whispered into my worry pot and worry dolls, so that has expelled them from my mind at least...I'm glad I started doing that.
 
Trying to understand what I feel: but I don't know really. Split up into several parts. Not really grounded. And empty, and full at the same time. And struggling. I guess that I feel a lot of shame, but also some small fragments of hope and joy, and then despair. But it feels like the feelings are not my feelings, somehow.. (Oh, that sounds really confusing! And it is..) - Said yes when a person asked if she could visit me today: so I need to get moving: and I will do stuff despite wanting to lay curled up on the bathroom floor all day.
 
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