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My Family Is Intent On Breaking Me.

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So although I'm heart broken at losing my brother, it's a lot less stressful than having my mum & stepdad around.
Yeah, that's pretty much what it is like for myself and my sister. Hopefully she will stay in contact with me, but I'll need to be very careful about it. But as my brother said, my father has her ear, so she'll never truly understand, so I should stop trying.

I have my brother, and we have good times, so I'll focus on that for now.
Oh, and I have a PuppyCat too!
 
Hang in there Bubz! I come from a huge family, and even with non-emotional issues, those people could he said, she said any topic to such chaos, you'd forget what the original topic was. Heck, they'd even debate the weather, claiming it was all sunshine and rainbows in the middle of a hurricane, just for a fight.

I learned that the only argument that can't be countered is silence. Many people don't want the truth, they just want to hold onto their view, even one they know is distorted, and convince others of it as some kind of sick "win". I had no use for that, and walked away completely from all of them.

The good news, babies and dogs don't play those games. You have already started to surround yourself with the zen that comes from freeing yourself from the drama. It will be refreshing to be around creatures that are exactly what they appear to be. When a baby or dog begs for a cookie, they really just want the stupid cookie.

I want a cookie.
 
The good news, babies and dogs don't play those games. You have already started to surround yourself with the zen that comes from freeing yourself from the drama. It will be refreshing to be around creatures that are exactly what they appear to be. When a baby or dog begs for a cookie, they really just want the stupid cookie. I want a cookie.

Cake? :D

Yes, you are so right, that's why I'm looking forward to having only them and my partner and brother around.
They too, just want a damned cookie! :rolleyes::p
 
Yeah, that's pretty much what it is like for myself and my sister. Hopefully she will stay in contact with me, but I'll need to be very careful about it. But as my brother said, my father has her ear, so she'll never truly understand, so I should stop trying.
!

Absolutely no conversation about the family - the weather, tv any neutral stuff but just abruptly change the subject or end the conversation when the family stuff comes up.
 
Bubzilla, I was raised by self-styled foreign Christian missionaries. They were abusive and neglectful, (still are) and I feel for you. It is certainly a trigger for me to see people forcing their superiority and holier than thous-ness on others while assaulting the human rights of those around them. I do think this is a sociopathy that has been the bane of religion forever. Didn't Jesus get kind of pissed off about this, too? :) Rings a few bells.

I'm glad that you have retained your joy and love despite their anti-love. :)

Muse
 
Hi @Muse,

I'm glad you get it......I'm pretty sick of it myself. I might be able to deal with religious material and affiliates one day, but it's a fair while away, if ever.

In the mean time I'll just focus on my bubs and my other half, so that I have the best motivation possible to improve in therapy.
 
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Yes, after a while of separation from organized religion, I think my perspectives on it have shifted gradually. For example, I'm less angry since I'm not being hit with negative emotions from people in it. Also, I think it's more simple to view things as well or not-well intended. Really, any group of people is going to contain a mix of motives and predominantly kind/well-intended or self-interested/manipulative types.

I'm teaching a book by a famous psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, Man's Search for Meaning (Viktor Frankl). In the book, he asserts that there are actually very few humans who are "merely decent." He says that put under severe stress, such as severe hunger and loss of freedom/safety (as in the death camps of the Nazis) people "unmask themselves" and show themselves to be the "saints or swine" that they truly are. I believe that history would prove him to be generally correct.

In a church setting in middle class society, you see a lot of masks with saints and swine under them. My parents are masked swine. I must not be like them, nor tolerate that lifestyle. I do not want to end up like them. I must stand against hypocrisy, peacefully, and make a better job of living than they did, as one who serves others and is more human. Like Frankl, I do believe that loving someone else and living a life devoted to serving the good of that person and a good cause, creating something, and looking outside of one's own life to do any good work one can do, is how we do that.

I think you are doing exactly that also and are a good person for doing it. Same to Ms. Spock!

XOXO Muse
 
Really, any group of people is going to contain a mix of motives and predominantly kind/well-intended or self-interested/manipulative types.
Absolutely, and as I'm healing and learning, it's becoming easier and easier to notice and recognize those people.

people "unmask themselves" and show themselves to be the "saints or swine" that they truly are.
Lol...here in Australia, we often call cops 'the pigs'.....now mind you, there are some nice cops, and then there are some assholes. But my father REALLY perpetuated the nickname 'pig'. Sorry, just reminded me of that. :p
I think you are doing exactly that also and are a good person for doing it. Same to Ms. Spock!

Thank you!
It feels so good not to have their shit constantly in my ear, and be able to convincingly tell myself that I WILL be successful, I AM beautiful, and this WILL all work out.
I was never able to do that when they were around, and I was always stressed. I'm just so very very glad I took this step, and to anyone else, the first bit is hard, but it's totally worth it.
 
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