Relationship Requesting Advice From Supporters From A Fiancee With Ptsd

[Nicolette]

Maybe give it a break for a day and come back - I find that sometimes works :)

 

[Tinyflame]

Hi @rainydaze, yes I meant what radicalgratitude referred, 'planning' is structure. But you can still have choices, as you said your trauma precluded or took that away. This would be your choice.

You see- you already do so much!! :tup: :) I never in any way meant to infer, or thought of you as 'slacking'. And even 10% (not 90%) is ok on a given day.

Perhaps too your fiance finds it easier to study- 'learn' (vs memorize) within a group setting. Encouraging him to go could be one example of doing someting for 'you' because you want him to have that opportunity, he enjoys it.

Far as intimacy goes, perhaps there's a way to 'remember' he is on your side, a 'friend' not 'foe', no pressure.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

@rainydaze and @Solara - I can actually see both points of view and how you both have interpreted comments differently and formed your views. I don't disagree with either side and I'm not here to do that. I would suggest that you avoid each other on this topic. As it is a supporter area Solara you draw the short straw unfortunately. I don't want to have to thread ban anyone so please move on.

Why do I draw the short straw when the original poster is a sufferer in a supporter area as well? I WILL be blocking her, however it doesn't seem fair that she can be a visitor over here and get preferential treatment simply because she started the thread!

 

[rainydaze]

Hi @rainydaze, Perhaps too your fiance finds it easier to study- 'learn' (vs memorize) within a group setting. Encouraging him to go could be one example of doing someting for 'you' because you want him to have that opportunity, he enjoys it.

This is true for him. He's told me this many times. This week I have been encouraging him to take care of himself socially and outside of the home, and it has gone well. It has allowed me to realize that I am lonely and haven't kept up my relationships. Instead, I allowed myself to be isolated and, not realizing how the lack of social support effected me, became reliant on him in a manner that was not his responsibility. But not anymore!

 

[Nicolette]

Why do I draw the short straw

My apologies as I thought she was a supporter and this it the supporter section. That being said Solara, for heavens sake STOP IT and LET IT GO!!!!

get preferential treatment

She was not getting preferential treatment as I spoke to you both.

 

[anthony]

however it doesn't seem fair that she can be a visitor over here and get preferential treatment simply because she started the thread!

Well... actually she can, because she is asking supporters for their view in the supporter area. She has directed this at nobody other than supporters. You on the other hand, are a sufferer, and chose to argue a point in this area. Take it elsewhere, PC, PTSD areas, so forth... but not in this area.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Lol I did. She was condescending there, too, so I blocked her!

 

[Badger]

Make some rules around the intimacy too. As a supporter I can tell you nothing is worse then venturing into uncharted territory without a map. Can you tell him what you want everytime you have intimacy? Like "I just want to cuddle and watch this movie," or whatever. Because intimacy is really facilitated by communication. Personally a supporter, I don't like to feel like Im treading on eggshells and I would vastly prefer bluntness.