Poll Do You Have Secrets About Your Trauma That You've Not Divulged To Your Therapist?

[LhasaLover]

When I talk to my therapist, there some things that she steers me away from to avoid retramatization. It's usually these things that I am less apt to discuss.

 

[Rumors]

there some things that she steers me away from to avoid retramatization.

So, who and how does one decide what things would retramatize vs. need working through? Just wondering how all of that works.

 

[LhasaLover]

Hi Rumors,

I trust my therapist to decide and advise me on issues of re-traumatization and everything for that matter! I do like and respect this therapist a great deal, so that helps.

During therapy, I usually just throw things out there and let her decide what to do with it. Lately, I am learning from experience about re-traumatization first hand. The re-opening of old wounds is something I have learnt to approach carefully as I tend to be very strong and want to face things head-on. As much as I want to make progress, I'm learning I cannot rush my recovery.

My therapist is my guide through this condition, everyday it seems like I am learning something new. I honestly am not so experienced as to give you a more direct answer, hopefully some more senior members may be able to elaborate on the topic more. For me, it's when in doubt, ask your therapist. I just cannot afford to get off track, it is too draining!! In the meantime, let's keep plugging away! This work is hard, but ultimately so rewarding!

 

[Changing4Best]

I did not answer the poll, because none of the answers exactly fit.

I have been in therapy on and off for many years, I am 58 now and started with therapy when I was a teen. I have seen many a therapist, rejected some, stayed with others, been let go by the best one because she was moving to another practice and so on.

I will sometimes give a general description about an incident, but not all the details. Afterall, there is only an hour in which to do this! If the therapist asks for details, I will, of course, tell them as much as I know of them anyway.

My abuse and molestation started when I was 6 months old, so some of it is scanty or kind of surreal even. I get impressions, but not so many details of the early stuff. I've allowed myself to be regressed, so we have gotten details that I think on straight memory would have slipped by for sure.

I've only seen the therapist I'm seeing now for maybe a dozen visits, if that. So details will come up later, I assume. She is staying with recent events so far, and usually starts the session by asking what I'd like to discuss that day. With that kind of intro question, I guess I tend to focus on recent stuff. Past earier similars do pop up though and I do generally tell of them when they do.

 

[EarthToSamantha]

I told my first three therapists almost everything, but my last therapist seemed so uninterested I stopped going because she didn't seem like she would be able to help me. I don't try to "keep secrets" usually, I just avoid some topics because I don't have the energy to hash through them that day. Eventually I let everything out otherwise I feel as if I'm hindering my own recovery. There just needs to be a certain level of trust there, which I usually establish within the first couple of sessions.

I saw this topic at the right time since I have an appointment with my psychiatrist next week, and I'm finally going to tell him that I'm not doing well and we need to try something different.

 

[Becky_From_Canada]

I've been with my therapist for just over two years, and I've only recently reached a level of trust where I can talk about stuff in any detail. So yes, many secrets. A lot holds me back from talking, like:
- I feel ashamed of what happened, like it was my fault
- Talking = reliving = triggering flashbacks
- I'm scared that if I talk, I will be found and punished
- There's some stuff that I simply can NOT talk about because I don't remember it. I did a lot of dissociating and frankly, I don't know if I *want* to remember that stuff. I don't honestly know if I'd be able to handle, considering I don't do too well with the stuff I *do* remember.

Becky

 

[Changing4Best]

I told my first three therapists almost everything, but my last therapist seemed so uninterested I stopped going because she didn't seem like she would be able to help me...

I do hope you will find a new therapist, one that is right for you. Seeing your psychiatrist is a very good idea too, of course.

 

[Rissy215]

I tend to tell my T things in indirect ways. I gave him a list of triggers and a checklist of potentially traumatic life events I had found and filled out online that just listed whether something had happened to me, I'd witnessed it, or I'd heard about it., or the event didn't apply. It's easier to me than just bringing things up out of the blue. I have a hard time starting conversations in therapy and have to rely on my T to ask questions to get a discussion going so yes there is a lot I haven't told him.

 

[zaniara]

Yes, have hinted though, and said some things in an indirect way. Much like you have @Rissy215 . :) So he has a pretty good clue of the big picture. But I can't cope with talking about all of it yet. I have showed a few drawings of flasbacks though. But the worst one I will show him when I'm ready to work with it. - We use EMDR and work with one memory at a time.

 

[Rissy215]

I'm relieved to know I'm not the only one like this. Unfortunately I feel like I'm running out of indirect ways to give him information and am still having a really hard time giving my traumas a voice and actually talking about them. I feel like cancelling sessions lately because I'm afraid of where they'll go.

 

[Chincho]

I haven't told my therapist some details of the little I remember about my abuse. I think these details aren't really important, but they are embarassing to me so I guess I'll take them to the grave with me.

 

[Deleted member 25333]

I have only told very little. Part of my PTSD was that I was confronted by things which I found horrifying and I'm afraid if I open up to anyone and tell me of the things I've seen and experienced that they will somewhat have the same happening to them as what happened to me and I don't want anyone to go through what I went through.