Sufferer Hello Everyone

[Introspective]

Hi guys.

I am suddenly in need of a place to be, where I can be who I am, and to be surrounded by people who understand. To feel less isolated I guess.

I'm a scandinavian girl who's turning 30 this year. I'm finally, after a lifetime of pain, depression, anxiety and loneliness, at a place where I'm ready to work on my traumas. I say finally. Not because it's pleasent, not because I'm happy. I'm not happy. I should have gotten the right help 11 years ago. (And 25 years ago, really.) But here I am now. Finally seeing a traumaspecialist, and being diagnosted with PTSD and a dissosiative disorder from years of trauma from childhood to adulthood. And it feels right. And good. It feels like it's never too late in a way.

I'm at a "good" place right now. Meaning I'm stable, and I'm understanding more and more of my road to recovery. I'm in the "tolerance- window" where I can deal with the triggers, and can take care of myself. It's not good, beause I have to deal with all the grief and all the burried emotions. More and more of them. But it's healthy. It's how it needs to be. And I feel it deep within me. I'm on my way. And I will get there.

And now, for the first time, I'm aware of all this. A year ago, I would've thought I was well now, and I would've started new studies or something. And I would've crashed. I'm not well, I'm stable. That's the difference. And now is the time to work on my traumas. Now that I can handle it. Now that I can feel it.

I'm very much alone with this and have a very limited network of people, all though I'm starting to rebuild it. From an honest place this time. So being able to talk to likeminded people and to read what others are experiencing is very helpful to me. Makes me feel like I'm not alone in the world. I'm only starting to realize that I'm not alone, and that I'm not suppose to be alone. That my life has been wrong. That I have a shot for a future.

I love listening to people and to be of comfort to others, so feel free to talk to me!

 

[Deleted member 20280]

I'm at a "good" place right now. Meaning I'm stable, and I'm understanding more and more of my road to recovery. I'm in the "tolerance- window" where I can deal with the triggers, and can take care of myself

@Introspective You have really hit the nail on the head "Tolerance Window". My window is a one way mirror of sorts that I can view the outside world from a safe distance. I can see the trauma's behind the triggers, deal with them and move on. I take each trauma trigger at it's own merit, literally deal with it and yes I move on. Usually to the next one and then the process starts all over again.
:-) welcome to the forum.

Laurie :hug: if you accept it.

 

[scout86]

Welcome!

 

[Introspective]

@Introspective You have really hit the nail on the head "Tolerance Window". My window is a one way mirror of sorts that I can view the outside world from a safe distance..

I accept it. And I need it. :) Thank you! :hug:

I recognise what you're saying about your window as well. That's exactly how it is. Being able to see the trauma clearly and to feel the emotions, and to integrate it into my past and still feel grounded in the now, is a powerful feeling. At the same time having to deal with new trauma all the time. Just when I'm done with one, just when I feel like maybe I'll be happy now, something new comes.

 

[Introspective]

Welcome!

Thank you! It feels good to be here.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

Just when I'm done with one, just when I feel like maybe I'll be happy now, something new comes.

That unfortunately really is the "nature of the beast". Particularly with PTSD as to fully recover we must deal with all the trauma's however insignificant they may seem. We need to deal with them (in our own time) and move on. Not the easiest thing for any of us to do but never-the-less necessary.
:hug: anytime you feel down. Vent as much as you like if ever feeling the need.

Laurie

 

[Tswevnz]

Hej :)
You are not alone! welcome to the forum - its a really good positive step for your future! I am a Scandinavian (Swedish ) too, so if u ever need a friend I'm here to talk :)
X

 

[fly away home]

Hello and welcome. Sounds like you are already leaps and bounds ahead. Congratulations on making the effort and reaching this point in your journey. The sense of community here is invaluable.

 

[Introspective]

That unfortunately really is the "nature of the beast". Particularly with PTSD as to fully recover we must deal with all the trauma's however insignificant they may seem.

So true. The only way out is through.

Thank you! Knowing I can do that, is comforting.

:hug:

 

[Introspective]

Hej :)
You are not alone! welcome to the forum - its a really good positive step for your future! I am a Scandinavian (Swedish ) too, so if u ever need a friend I'm here to talk :)
X

Takk! It feels like a good positive step too. :) I love swedish people, and the offer goes both ways: if you ever need to talk to a norwegian friend, I'm here. :)

 

[Introspective]

Hello and welcome. Sounds like you are already leaps and bounds ahead. Congratulations on making the effort and reaching this point in your journey. The sense of community here is invaluable.

Thank you so much. Yes, I get a feeling about the wonderful support of this community. I'm overwhelmed just by your responses. I think I needed to come here today.

 

[Sally sue]

I only started on this forum two days ago and I feel such a better feeling if normalcy and support already! Although, some of my friends have faded away as this all started, some are sticking by, but they just don't really understand, especially my family :( so talking about it all here, feels soooo good! It also makes it so I don't have to lean on my T sooo much!

But, maybe I'm at a different place, I go through such highs and lows...all in one day grrr. It's like the more excited about something and happy I get, the more likely I am to start to sink into the abyss :( it's really frustrating and I don't know why it happens?!

Welcome! You are amount friends :)
Sally sue