Sufferer Treading Water

[I am .....]

I have found this site quite helpful in trying to understand a little more about myself and what I'm going through. Thought it's probably time I introduce myself. I'm a 32 yr old wife and mother of three young children. I'm also a CSA surviver and was diagnosed with Complex PTSD last year after I was sexually and physically assaulted while out jogging.

That is when my world came crumbling down. I really wasn't coping or even functioning for that matter and was sent to a PTSD therapist. Despite her best efforts I was spiralling and a friend mentioned someone she knew who was a trauma specialist and specialised in EMDR. I was knew to all this and hadn't even heard of EMDR let alone knew what it was. Nothing else had worked and I knew if I kept going the way I was my three children would be growing up without a mother, so. I got a referral and made the appointment.

I met my knew therapist, I wasn't too sure of her but I didn't not like her so that was a bonus. We began working together on a weekly basis and commenced with EMDR. It is now 4 1/2 months since I started EMDR. For me it was like opening Pandora's box but also the best decision I've ever made. Lots of tears and hard work but I am actually starting to see light at the end of my tunnel. I know I still have a long and turbulent road ahead of me but nowhere near as bad as what has past.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

@I am ..... Welcome to the forum :-)

EMDR was the first important choice I made last year and I too found it hugely upsetting at first like you.

That Pandoras box was hard to open and like you hard to rummage through. I am so glad I did though.

:-)

Laurie

 

[Notsowild]

Hi @I am .....I am also a CSA survivor with complex PTSD. I am currently doing CBT with a trauma therapist. When I first heard about EMDR I thought it sounded great. Then I heard ( true or not ) that it wasn't good for repressed memories. So then it scared me off. I'm glad it is working so well for you?

Welcome to the forum. This is a wonderful place with lots of great people and helpful articles about PTSD in the "vault". Glad to have you here

 

[intothelight]

Hi I am,

Welcome to the forum!

It is great that EMDR is working so well for you. You can also find a lot of information here about other things that may help you as you recover.

Debbie

 

[I am .....]

Hi @I am .....I am also a CSA survivor with complex PTSD. I am currently doing CBT with a trauma therapist. When I first heard about EMDR I thought it sounded great. Then I heard ( true or not ) that it wasn't good for repressed memories. So then it scared me off. I'm glad it is working so well for you?

Welcome to the forum. This is a wonderful place with lots of great people and helpful articles about PTSD in the "vault". Glad to have you here

Thanks for the reply! EMDR was ok to start with. I knew I was abused as a child because I was removed from my parents and made a ward of the state. I was too young to have any memories which growing up I thought was my saving grace. Between my second and third EMDR session I started having flashbacks and nightmares and then followed some body memories. None of which I had ever experienced before. It was a real shock to my mind and body. I couldn't believe what was unfolding literally right in front of my eyes.
If I'm completely honest months later I'm still coming to terms with it and more memories are unfolding good, bad and ugly.