Sexual Assault Child Sexual Grooming

[SeanCharles]

Yeah, We were 7 years apart in age. At the beginning I had some developmental delays which developed a year later and at that point I wound up instead of being babysat, I told my biological father everything after a bit of a tantrum in front of him and my mom! She was horrified! :(

 

[friend to most]

So how are you Sean

 

[SeanCharles]

I'm okay. It's my 2 days off, so I am definitely going to relax and prepare for the week ahead, which includes a doc appointment which may change things... (I've got a plan in play which this appointment is part of.)

 

[friend to most]

I see, sounds good

 

[digger]

I think for me too though, I am stuck understanding which grooming model was used or how, given that we had only met the night he was introduced!

I am still trying to wrap my head around how I was specifically groomed. It seems to me that my groomer was very quick in his procedure.

I think you are going to wrap your head in circles trying to get your head round this as I don't think, in your case there will be a grooming model that fits or that you will have been groomed according to any rules or pattern, for the simple reason that you were abused by another child.

That is not to minimise your experience at all, but I think trying find patterns where there are none is futile and will just distract you from the more important focus of healing the issues it has caused for you.

At the age of 13/14, which you say he was, I think it is unlikely that he will have developed any sophisticated kind of grooming model for his behaviour.

I think as well, it might be useful to look at how young he was, not for the purpose of excusing his behaviour, but to maybe question where it came from. If you look at some of the comments here from and about people who were groomed at that sort of age, you can see how it is a difficult age to assign full responsibility to in the way you can an adult perpetrator.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

@digger I understand. I was around the age of @SeanGeo abuser when I was groomed myself.

 

[SeanCharles]

@digger I understand. I was around the age of @SeanGeo abuser when I was groomed myself.

I know at least from a secondhand source, that my male abuser was abused himself by an older brother. I don't know the exact details of that other than what I typed. On the other side of this, I internalized my abuse (not purposely) it was done in a bit of an unconscious way which is beyond the scope of this particular thread, and in ways the ptsd forum...

I do know too, that as at least one grooming thing, I was given a cigarette right before the abuse occurred.