I have been in therapy with the same person for quite a while... Hard to guess a date but maybe 8 years? For quite a while most of the stuff I was working on had more to do with trying to have a life than specifically dealing with trauma stuff. I had already spent maybe 10 years working on trauma stuff, although I don't think that that original therapist -- or much of anyone -- understood how somewhat subtle dissociation could get in the way of dealing with stuff for some of us.
These last 8 months or so, the trauma stuff got stirred up pretty drastically by my original abuser, my brother, re-contacting me with some bizarre and subtly threatening emails.
I have been realizing since then that I still dissociate some emotions, esp. when feeling threatened, though I had made a lot of progress in many other areas. I was not aware I was doing this stuff until recently. I have a lot of threat-related emotions stored in my body, and as I get a bit older my body might be rebelling! Tense muscles, apparent "trigger points"... Luckily I love to exercise and had developed a lot of other good coping skills for parts of this stuff.
However... I have not felt like my current therapist is well-educated in dissociation; I've been doing the research myself, have been seeing parts of my experience in pretty recent writings about ddnos, and a few times I have felt like my therapist is looking at me like I'm an alien specimen. Well I already feel like an alien sometimes (we've had threads here sorta joking about that stuff) so I would rather not have my therapist doing that... (???)
She had some training on ptsd a while back, but kept forgetting to bring some info about it to our sessions for, like, 3 weeks in a row. Then when I was showing her a book I bought ("Coping with Trauma-related Dissociation"), her initial comment was that she thought things should be brought to the present. (Well, yeah, but she didn't seem to understand a lot of the issues too well?) After looking at the book, she thought it might be ok, but I thought her initial reaction was sort of hesitant. She also thinks it's better for therapists not to just do trauma therapy because they can get "burned out". (I'd brought up that I might want to try a trauma therapist, a few months ago; she kinda discouraged me, and said she thought she could help me.) I also find myself unable to talk about some things I really need to with her, but I'm partly blaming myself for that - but trying not to. Part of me is just not feeling safe enough after all these years. I feel safer with the doctor who prescribes for this ptsd stuff for me, and I only see her every few months! She is both warm and smart, and has that grounded honesty about her.
So, it may seem like I should obviously feel ok about trying a new person, and I'm reading about what to look for, and folks here mention that "trauma therapists" have been very helpful to them... I'm not quite sure what my question is here, but any helpful thoughts are very welcome!
These last 8 months or so, the trauma stuff got stirred up pretty drastically by my original abuser, my brother, re-contacting me with some bizarre and subtly threatening emails.
I have been realizing since then that I still dissociate some emotions, esp. when feeling threatened, though I had made a lot of progress in many other areas. I was not aware I was doing this stuff until recently. I have a lot of threat-related emotions stored in my body, and as I get a bit older my body might be rebelling! Tense muscles, apparent "trigger points"... Luckily I love to exercise and had developed a lot of other good coping skills for parts of this stuff.
However... I have not felt like my current therapist is well-educated in dissociation; I've been doing the research myself, have been seeing parts of my experience in pretty recent writings about ddnos, and a few times I have felt like my therapist is looking at me like I'm an alien specimen. Well I already feel like an alien sometimes (we've had threads here sorta joking about that stuff) so I would rather not have my therapist doing that... (???)
She had some training on ptsd a while back, but kept forgetting to bring some info about it to our sessions for, like, 3 weeks in a row. Then when I was showing her a book I bought ("Coping with Trauma-related Dissociation"), her initial comment was that she thought things should be brought to the present. (Well, yeah, but she didn't seem to understand a lot of the issues too well?) After looking at the book, she thought it might be ok, but I thought her initial reaction was sort of hesitant. She also thinks it's better for therapists not to just do trauma therapy because they can get "burned out". (I'd brought up that I might want to try a trauma therapist, a few months ago; she kinda discouraged me, and said she thought she could help me.) I also find myself unable to talk about some things I really need to with her, but I'm partly blaming myself for that - but trying not to. Part of me is just not feeling safe enough after all these years. I feel safer with the doctor who prescribes for this ptsd stuff for me, and I only see her every few months! She is both warm and smart, and has that grounded honesty about her.
So, it may seem like I should obviously feel ok about trying a new person, and I'm reading about what to look for, and folks here mention that "trauma therapists" have been very helpful to them... I'm not quite sure what my question is here, but any helpful thoughts are very welcome!
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