Quitting Therapy

[GWhizz]

Thanks for all the replies and for sharing your stories. It's awful that so many have had similar experiences, but I really appreciate the support and advice.

I text my T earlier suggesting I take a break, at least take this week off because of how on top of me it is right now. Here's her reply : 'I don't think it is a good idea to take a break right now but we need to take it easy and work with ways to help you cope, nothing else.'

Why am I upset that she couldn't agree with me to take a break? I feel a bit trapped in the therapy process, I know I should be using it as a means of support etc but I just want to lock myself away somewhere I can block it all out :-(

 

[Recovery4Me]

don't think it is a good idea to take a break right now but we need to take it easy and work with ways to help you cope

Just offering a thought on this (kind of like ears) everyone mostly has them.:hug: She offered her professional opinion and experience based on her expertise. If you have watched the older Star Wars, it is like when Luke bolted out to fight the dark side by himself, before Yoda (the Jedi-Master) had finished Luke's training. Remember?

Therapist can care : people worry (((hugging you big time))). It is a good thing to be missed when you are in battle for healing.;)

 

[Hashi]

I haven't got time to respond properly, but wanted to respond to this:

I text my T earlier suggesting I take a break, at least take this week off because of how on top of me it is right now. Here's her reply : 'I don't think it is a good idea to take a break right now but we need to take it easy and work with ways to help you cope, nothing else.'

Your therapist sounds great. In my humble opinion, she is spot on with this. I understand that you want to take a break but - sorry, it sounds like the genie's out of the bottle now. To have a therapist who is suggesting that you work on coping with this situation, rather than trying to run away from it (which you can no longer do, believe me) - to me, that says, go and talk to your therapist!

In the end, how well has avoiding been working for you so far? Inbetween avoidance and full-on trauma work, there is learning about coping. Your therapist is suggesting learning more about coping. I would back this suggestion x100.

I'd also suggest that the time for avoiding this is over. Whether you'd like to go on avoiding or not. I think all of us get to this point sooner or later. Having a good therapist to help you at this point is a blessing. I suggest you take this opportunity, not to rush into dealing with trauma, but to work hard on skills so you can address the trauma work appropriately.

 

[Tinyflame]

She didn't take away your choice, but she's telling you the truth, as she feels. I've been told it too, when I thought it was better for others (& myself) to stay away or leave. I think it will be a break to get through this. I find when I feel the worst it's probably when I can least afford to run away.

I had to take it on faith.

((((((((Many Hugs)))))))

 

[ghotiff]

Why am I upset that she couldn't agree with me to take a break?

If I was you (and I think I was close about 4months ago) then I would be upset because I expressed a personal need and again in my life it was effectively ignored.

Based on this interpretation I will now give a different viewpoint. If you want a week off, then you have the right to take a week off. Only you know yourself and what you need and what will work best for you.

Making decisions like these when I changed therapists was really good for me because it was me learning to take my power back and learn that my T would not be angry with me when I did this.

My thoughts are with you.

 

[KwanYingirl]

I had the same response from my therapist six months ago. The two therapists I had before him were more than willing to let me take weeks or months off at a time and when I did show up, it was easy to get them talking about anything but PTSD issues. No surprise that I never progressed with my symptoms....

My current therapist is a trauma expert. He has taught me so much, it's like night and day. So when I came in one week beyond overwhelmed and wanting to STOP, he gently asked me to keep coming and we would start over and work on distress tolerance. Sounded good to me as I have never been skilled at distress tolerance. Glad I agreed to commit to weekly and sometimes twice weekly sessions.

In my case, I was the thing that was interfering with my recovery.

 

[ghotiff]

@KwanYingirl
Can I ask how you worked on "distress tolerance". The closest I got was that I was once offered DBT, but this was from a T who was honest enough to tell me that this was all she could provide me because she was not experienced enough to help me with my trauma (I still appreciate her honesty).

 

[KwanYingirl]

It requires me to notice what my body is doing when I'm dissociating or having a flashback. It's not happening now. Now I am writing this post and I am safe. My body feels like acid is flowing in my arms and legs. It's just a feeling that invokes an emotion-confused, anxious. Feelings come and go. I am not the emotion. Just notice it without judgement. Breathe steady and from the abdomen. Breathe into the acid. Feel the acid disappearing. Now I am calm. The distress is gone. Now I am no longer in Emotion mind. Now I am closer to Wise mind (DBT skills)

That's one example of distress tolerance. I stayed in the here and now and processed the body reactions to my distress.

Does this help you?

 

[Laura 2]

"Adults who have been abused or tortured over a period of time develop a similar sense of separation from others, and a lack of trust in the world and other people." Royal College of Psychiatrists PTSD fact sheet for patients &c.

Just to note that the RPsych site used to list "lack of trust in authorities" specifically. Unsurprisingly, they've generalised it.[DOUBLEPOST=1403610758,1403610517][/DOUBLEPOST]

Take what you need love and leave the rest, as we each must choose what we need to heal. Prayers and love your way.

Such wise words. And I echo the prayers and love - to all here.

 

[Laura 2]

Here's her reply : 'I don't think it is a good idea to take a break right now but we need to take it easy and work with ways to help you cope, nothing else.'
Why am I upset that she couldn't agree with me to take a break?

I would be upset because it would feel like - yet again - someone is not listening to my wishes/wants/needs; I would feel invalidated, as if they know better than me when, actually, they don't!

I guess that another way of looking at it is that she actually does care enough to keep you to the appt, she's already shown that she's committed to your healing, it looks like this could genuinely be another way of showing that.

For me though, the 'C' word presses all sorts of buttons. 'Coping' is such a mantra, buzz, jargon word. Covers a huge range of possibilities.

'Helping you to find your coping skills' is, throughout my whole nightmare experience, what people/professionals say when they can't be arsed to really support you. It's a cliche like 'Every cloud has a silver lining' or 'You have to have hope!' or 'You're stronger than you think!' It makes me angry and despondent. (For one thing, I've developed a serious auto-immune disease by being left to 'cope' because they are so sure I'm 'stronger than I think'. No, I'm not.)

Sorry - don't want to hijack the thread, but just illustrating how difficult it is to navigate through what people say and what they mean. I don't have the wiggle room any more to tolerate wishy-washy vague jargon that most people and professionals resort to!

This is a good example of plain-speaking honesty which, I believe, is so beneficial:

a T who was honest enough to tell me that this was all she could provide me because she was not experienced enough to help me with my trauma (I still appreciate her honesty).

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Making decisions like these when I changed therapists was really good for me because it was me learning to take my power back and learn that my T would not be angry with me when I did this.

Yes. My experience too. And the sky didn't fall down when I drew a line or debated the issue.

 

[GWhizz]

She text me earlier to say see you on Thursday. I really wanted to reply and cancel though I didn't get time in work and I don't want to cancel tomorrow now it's really short notice. I'm also afraid if I do, then she'll get alarmed and call my GP. I guess I best just go though @Hashi and @Junebug are probably right - I am being avoidant and this may actually be a break for me in progress terms. I just wish I could get comfortable with it and not feel so ambiguous or indecisive week to week. Going back a pace or two will probably help I hope. I'm just not able to come out of there a 3rd week in a row feeling so dreadful.

Thank you all for your warm and welcome hugs - I actually don't know how to do hugs on this but sending hugs back to you all

 

[Laura 2]

@GWhizz - Yes, it is a bit too late to postpone, you're right. I think you're right too about stepping back a little. You put it really well, and clearly : for starters, what about saying exactly what you said here:

I just wish I could get comfortable with it and not feel so ambiguous or indecisive week to week. Going back a pace or two will probably help I hope. I'm just not able to come out of there a 3rd week in a row feeling so dreadful.

I hope it goes well - and that you come out feeling at least a little reassured and not half as fraught :hug:

[BTW - when you're writing a reply you get the smilies and hugs by clicking on the yellow smiley face> scroll the page down and you'll see loads of them>click on your choice/s and they'll magically appear in your post!]