My Pain

[dougyhowzer]

So over this weekend , I have been feeling a lot of pain sadness over a lot of my sibling broken relationships.

My counsellor has stressed the importance of feeling sad and that it is a very important part of the grieving process .

I honestly do wish that my family would really acknowledge their wrongs and hurts against me.

30 years of profound loss is too bearable for me on some days , and when I feel that pain , I feel the deep need to use one of my addictions as a coping mechanism.

But I am really dead tired of doing that. I would rather just try get through the day without resorting to unhealthy habits .

But it is hard to do that ; even harder to develop a healthy outlet that only may work for a limited period ; yet better than any unhealthy outlet.

 

[Justmehere]

So sorry for the pain and loss. The division between my brother and I haunts me.

Don't give up the good fight to heal! You probably already know that the substances will just delay the pain... My heart goes out to you!

 

[littlelostchild]

I know that the pain can be immense. I took to drinking and had to stop before it became a full on addiction. Are there other activities that you can do? I have discovered painting recently. I can lose myself for hours in a painting project. Woodworking and stained glass used to be the same for me.

I find the painting a way to express my pain. I literally do not know what I am going to paint until it happens. Maybe there is a creative expression you could do.

Just a thought.

 

[Britt.f7]

Once I let go of the fantasy that they would come around I was able to deal with them. My family and I have a relationship now, but it took years. I had to let go, to grieve, to realize they would not change. I accept the relationships I have now with them. They have their limits and I have mine.

I am sorry you are having to go through with this. I agree though, allow yourself to grieve.

 

[dougyhowzer]

Thanks to everyone for their replies .
I do believe my future will get better.

I have actually experienced a little relief today. Grieving through 30 years of personal loss would not be easy , but totally necessary and a big part of my healing .

I believe that eventually I will finish this grieving , but it is vitally important that I do not rush it.

I find myself able to keep my self occupied with my guitar practice .

I am also looking to get supportive housing closer to where I attend my training classes with the interdisciplinary arts organization that I am with .

 

[xena21]

I believe that eventually I will finish this grieving , but it is vitally important that I do not rush it.

You are right. Take it at your own pace. I wish you the best in your journey. It sounds like you are on the right path. I wish you the best!

 

[littlelostchild]

Take good care of yourself.